[incessantmentalrant]

Estoy leyendo: guía autista: consejos para sobrevivir en el loco mundo de los neurotipicos de Daniel Millán López y me está gustando mucho.

Comparto esto que creo que expresa muy bien mi hartazgo con la gente que piensa que cuando te quieres conocer más "te estás casando con un diagnóstico" o " te lo estás tomando muy a pecho".

[nahrumi]

HOWL AND SOPHIE + TOUCH

howl’s moving castle (2004) dir. hayao miyazaki

[stlowens]

Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals

[guerrillatech]

[incessantmentalrant]

Ando saliendo de un burnout :c y me encontré a este doctor que explica súper bien como son los síntomas y algunos tipos para salir de ahí. El video tiene la opción de subtitlos en español.

[incessantmentalrant]

La verdad tenía muchas ganas de escribir sobre esto pero no se ni por donde empezar. Toda mi vida había sentido que algo era diferente, que algo en mi cabeza no encajaba. He tenido fuertes episodios ansio-depresivos en varias ocasiones, constantemente me cuestiono si lo que hago tiene sentido, si estoy haciendo las cosas bien. Me siento sumamente insatisfecha, no entiendo por qué las cosas no me parecen adecuadas como están y sobre todo me siento muy incomprendida. He tenido conmigo personas que me escuchan y que sé que me quieren pero no siento que puedan entenderme.

No he conocido un momento en mi vida en el que me sienta completamente en paz. Cuando entré al kinder lloraba todo el tiempo porque no quería estar ahí, no recuerdo realmente que pasara algo o que alguien me molestara sólo me sentía sumamente incómoda y quería irme a mi casa. En la primaria usaba cualquier oportunidad para faltar pero cuando tenía que ir odiaba llegar tarde, tenía nauseas, siempre me sentía angustiada y a los 7 años fue la primera vez que me dijo el doctor que tenía gastritis nerviosa pero que no podía entender que una niña se sintiera así de estresada. Académicamente nunca me fue mal, siempre sentí que con el pequeño porcentaje de atención que prestaba en la clase era suficiente y eso parecía molestar a algunxs de mis compañerxs. Sin embargo conforme fui creciendo encontré algunas dificultades porque como nunca lo necesité y nadie me enseño realmente no sabía estudiar. Detestaba que me pusieran en competencia pero los adultos no paraban de comparar mi desempeño y siempre me exigía cada vez más, tenía y tengo una muy baja tolerancia a la frustración pero no me permitía nunca tener una mala calificación.

Recuerdo que un día en cuarto de primaria me enteré que unas niñas se ponían de acuerdo para no hablarme y no incluirme en nada porque yo era "la favorita de los maestros" y siempre sacaba 10. Hasta la fecha no puedo comprender como cualquiera de esas cosas puede ser mi culpa o una buena razón para aislarme. Aparte de todo era difícil involucrarme porque muchas veces no tenía los mismos temas de interés.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

I really wanted to write about this but didn't even know where to start. All my life I've felt different, that something in my head didn't quite fit. I've had depressive episodes on several ocassions and anxiety my whole life. Constantly questioning myself, if what I do makes any sense.

I feel extremely dissatisfied, I don't understand why things don't seem right the way they are, and above all I feel very misunderstood. I've had people who listen to me and I know they love me but I don't feel they can understand me. Never had a time in my life when I feel completely at peace.

When I entered kindergarten I cried all the time because I hated being there, I don't really remember anything bad happening or anyone bothering me, I just felt extremely uncomfortable and wanted to go home. In primary school I used any opportunity to be absent but when I had to go I hated being late, I had nausea, I always felt anxious and at 7 years old it was the first time the doctor told me that I had gastritis nervosa I remember he said he could not understand how a little girl could feel so stressed.

Academically I never did badly, I always felt that the small percentage of attention I paid in class was enough and that seemed to bother some of my classmates. However, as I grew older I found some difficulties cuz since I never needed it and nobody taught me, I really didn't know how to study. I hated being put in competition but the adults kept comparing my performance and I was always demanding more and more, I had and have a very low tolerance for frustration but I never allowed myself to have a bad grade. I remember that one day in fourth grade I found out that some girls agreed not to talk to me and not include me in anything because I was "the teachers' favorite" and I always got 10. To this day I cannot understand how any of those things could be my fault or a good reason to isolate me. Apart from everything, it was difficult to get involved because many times I did not have the same topics of interest.

[incessantmentalrant]

Desde hace dos años estoy diagnosticada con endometriosis. La verdad es que ahora estoy bastante estable, tengo ligeras molestias gastrointestinales pero mi nivel de dolor ha disminuido mucho, sin embargo, mentalmente me siento agotada. Estar en un proceso de enfermedad es extremadamente agotador porque siempre hay un poco de dolor, las demás personas no lo notan y no suelen entender tus estados de ánimo.

Ha sido un camino largo de ir de especialista en especialista, buscando alguno que sepa ser empático con el tema. A veces ir al doctor se vuelve tortuoso porque de por si te sientes mal y aparte de todo tienes que lidiar con gente grosera y prepotente que ni siquiera toma en consideración tus síntomas o estado emocional. Además, debido a la ansiedad y el estrés por todo esto el año pasado regresé a terapia y ese camino condujo a mi diagnóstico de autismo. Es sumamente abrumador recibir tanta información de ti mismx junta y creo que es algo que sigo procesando.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

I have been diagnosed with endometriosis for two years now. Tbh now I am quite stable, I have slight gastrointestinal discomfort but my pain level has decreased a lot, however, mentally I feel exhausted. Being in a disease process is extremely exhausting because there is always a little pain, other people do not notice it and do not usually understand your mood swings.

It has been a long road to go from doctor to doctor, looking for someone who knows how to empathize with the subject. Sometimes going to the doctor becomes torturous cuz you already feel bad and on top of everything you have to deal with rude and arrogant people who don't even take your symptoms or emotional state into consideration. Also, due to the anxiety and stress of all this last year I went back to therapy and that path led to my autism diagnosis. It is extremely overwhelming to receive so much information from yourself at the same time and I think it is something that I continue to process.

[sunfortune]

do u ever just take off your glasses bc youre tired of seeing things

[determined-mind-deactivated2025]

[girlwhorpsalot]

I needed this.

[mentalmentalhealth]

Thank you to all the people who posted this so I ended up seeing it. I really needed this right now. Thank you!

[aro-ace-christian]

Yeah… Not gonna lie… I cried…

[muslimintp-1999-girl]

We need more people like this

[armillary-spheres-lover]

Goddamn it stop making me feel human

[dreamsrainandwitchythings]

The therapist I wanna be.

[positivelyqueerace]

Text in the image:

“I’m a therapist and keep this poster in my waiting room, apparently it’s saved a few lives.”

I don’t like the phrase “a cry for help.” I just don’t like how it sounds. When somebody says to me, “I’m thinking about suicide. I have a plan: I just need a reason not to do it,” the last thing I see is helplessness.

I think your depression has been beating you up for years. It’s called you ugly, and stupid, and pathetic, and a failure, for so long that you’ve forgotten that it’s wrong. You don’t see any good in yourself, and you don’t have any hope.

But still here you are: you’ve come over to me, banged on my door and said, “HEY! Staying alive is REALLY HARD right now! Just give me something to fight with! I don’t care if it’s a stick! Give me a stick and I can stay alive!”

How is that helpless? I think that’s incredible. You’re like a marine: trapped for years behind enemy lines. Your gun has been taken away, you’re out of ammo, you’re malnourished, and you’ve probably caught some kind of jungle virus that’s making you hallucinate giant spiders.

And you’re still just going, “GIVE ME A STICK. I’M NOT DYING OUT HERE.” “A cry for help” makes it sound like I’m supposed to take pity on you, but you don’t need my pity. This isn’t pathetic. This is the will to survive. This is how humans lived long enough to become the dominant species.

With NO hope, running on NOTHING, you’re ready to cut through a hundred miles of hostile jungle with nothing but a stick, if that’s what it takes to get to safety.

All I’m doing is handing out sticks.

You’re the one saying alive.

[ultimate-science-nerd]

I legit cried at this. I’ve needed to hear it put this way. Bless this post.

[tea-rabbits]

Every time I see this post I stop to read the whole image. It always helps — even on the good days.

Because it wasn’t weakness. It wasn’t shameful to seek help. It wasn’t pathetic to “cry for help”. I was looking for a stick, be that from myself or from someone else. I was trying to find a way out. I was trying to heal myself.

[aurora-nerin]

this is fuckin incredible. 

[incessantmentalrant]

El año pasado me diagnosticaron dentro del espectro autista. He tenido muchas emociones desde entonces pero creo que la primera fue alivio, de repente toda mi vida tuvo mucho sentido. Todavía tengo muchas preguntas y me gustaría empezar a recapitular cosas que han sucedido en mi vida.

[atouchofwhiteandgreen]

[transparent-flowers]

Indian Lotus, also Nelumbo nucifera.

[aggra-vated]

[timbllr]

[danger]

[oozins]

instagram  ||  society6

[winterfellis]