the notes on this post make me SO happy because it's full of people saying that they're trying to do this and talking about all the cool things they've done since they started! i am genuinely from the bottom of my heart SO PROUD OF YOU and so so happy for you!! it makes me smile every time someone tags this with an achievement they've made recently even if it seems small to other people.
a lot of people have also expressed that they really want to do this but don't know how. even recognising that you *want* to participate in your life more is a big step so i'm really proud of you for that!! sometimes we get so bogged down in the sort of dreary stagnation of life that we forget we even have desires, let alone that we can actively pursue them. i will try and give a bit of general advice here - obviously, adapt this to your own circumstances as you see fit.
i really cannot stress enough how much you need, if at all possible, to leave the house and talk to people. i know this might feel like an attack. it is not one. we are a social species and we *need* contact with other humans to maintain our wellbeing. isolation is, quite literally, torture to us. "but what if i have social anxiety/rejection sensitivity/depression/i'm neurodivergent/i'm an introvert" even then. actually, i would argue, ESPECIALLY then. isolating yourself can feel comforting and safe but it will make you feel a lot worse in the long run, and eventually it will become such a habit that you'll feel incapable of going outside. you are not incapable, and you don't deserve to feel like that. you deserve a full, exciting, joyful and varied life even if you don't think that's achievable for you. and it is achievable!! it just takes time and effort and PRACTICE.
start small and work your way up - go outside, even for 5 minutes. ask the cashier how their day's going. compliment someone's dog on the street. socialising is a muscle you can train! see what opportunities are available in your area - hobby groups, sports classes, open mics, local gigs, art shows, drag shows, support groups, social groups for people who share your identity, community gardens, volunteering orgs, political groups, literally anything goes
show up tired. show up alone. show up scared. show up even when you really, really, really don't want to. you may be locked into a pattern of isolation where your brain has convinced you that trying to break out of that pattern is dangerous and unachievable, and it will throw every trick in the book at you to try and keep you at home. ignore it. do it anyway. it will feel awkward and uncomfortable at first to try new things and meet new people - that's completely understandable and natural, and it's ok to feel scared by it. those feelings of discomfort, however, don't mean that you're actually unsafe. they will lessen with time and practice and you deserve the rewards of pushing through them. and you will be rewarded!! you will have fun and make friends and make memories and, maybe most importantly, you will start to feel confident in your own abilities again.
i am really, really sorry that circumstances have made you feel like living a full and varied and fun life isn't possible for you - that loneliness and isolation are your only options. i've spent a lot of my life feeling like that too and i know that it can be really hard. i am, though, really glad to tell you it doesn't always have to be that way. another life IS possible, and you deserve to grab it with both hands and run with it as far as it can take you. i love you, i'm proud of you, and i really want to hear about your achievements - even the tiniest little baby step. i'm so excited for you!!!!!
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