Awkward Dialogue Starters Pack
· ─ When Two People Are Terrible at Flirting ─ ·
𐙚⋆.˚ "So... weather's pretty... weathery today, huh?"
𐙚⋆.˚ "I like your face. I mean—your shirt. I like your shirt. Why am I still talking."
𐙚⋆.˚ "You're uh... you exist. In a good way. That sounded better in my head."
𐙚⋆.˚ "Did you just, WAIT, were you trying to flirt with me or give me restaurant recommendations?"
𐙚⋆.˚ "I practiced what I was gonna say to you for an hour and I've already forgotten all of it."
𐙚⋆.˚ "You smell nice. Oh god that's creepy. I meant, actually I'm just gonna leave."
𐙚⋆.˚ "Was that supposed to be a compliment?" – "I genuinely don't know anymore."
𐙚⋆.˚ "I'm going to touch your hand now. This is me announcing it. Here I go. Why did I say that out loud."
𐙚⋆.˚ "Do you want to... I don't know... stand near each other somewhere else?"
𐙚⋆.˚ "I wrote down conversation topics on my hand but they're all stupid now that I'm actually looking at you."
· ─ When the Tension is Actually Just Confusion ─ ·
𐙚⋆.˚ "Are we fighting or are you just standing really close for no reason?"
𐙚⋆.˚ "I can't tell if you hate me or if this is how you show affection."
𐙚⋆.˚ "Did you just try to make me jealous or were you genuinely telling me about your dentist appointment for ten minutes?"
𐙚⋆.˚ "Was that eye contact meaningful or do you just stare at people like that normally?"
𐙚⋆.˚ "I'm sending mixed signals because I'm receiving mixed signals and now we're both confused."
𐙚⋆.˚ "Are you mad at me?" – "I don't know, are YOU mad at ME?" – "I asked first." – "I asked second."
𐙚⋆.˚ "That sounded like an innuendo but I think you were talking about gardening?"
𐙚⋆.˚ "Every time we talk I leave more confused than when we started."
𐙚⋆.˚ "Is this sexual tension or are we both just really bad at communication?"
𐙚⋆.˚ "I've been overthinking this conversation for three days and I still don't know what happened."
· ─ When It's Definitely Not Going Well ─ ·
𐙚⋆.˚ "So... you come here often?" – "It's my house." – "Right. Yeah. I knew that."
𐙚⋆.˚ "This is going great." – "You spilled coffee on yourself twice and called me the wrong name."
𐙚⋆.˚ "I should go." – "You just got here." – "Exactly. Perfect timing to leave."
𐙚⋆.˚ "Let's never speak of this again." – "Speak of what?" – "Exactly."
𐙚⋆.˚ "I'm attracted to you. Wait I meant—I'm NOT attracted to you. Fuck. I meant—" – "Please stop talking."
𐙚⋆.˚ "Was this a date?" – "I thought it was a group thing." – "It's just us." – "...I should've brought my wallet."
𐙚⋆.˚ "You look... different." – "I shaved." – "That's not—I meant—you know what, never mind."
𐙚⋆.˚ "I rehearsed this conversation and somehow it's going worse than any scenario I imagined."
𐙚⋆.˚ "Are you okay? You're sweating." – "I'm nervous." – "Why?" – "I'm talking to you." – "That's worse, you made it worse."
𐙚⋆.˚ "I think there's been a miscommunication." – "You think?" – "I thought you liked me." – "I thought you liked my BROTHER."
· ─ The Morning After We Made Poor Decisions ─ ·
𐙚⋆.˚ "So... that happened." – "Yep." – "..." – "..." – "Breakfast?"
𐙚⋆.˚ "We agreed this was a one-time thing." – "It's been three times." – "The night counts as one."
𐙚⋆.˚ "My roommate's in the living room so we have to pretend this didn't happen." – "It didn't happen." – "It super happened."
𐙚⋆.˚ "I can't find my shirt." – "That's because you're wearing mine." – "...Can I keep it?" – "No." – "I'm keeping it."
𐙚⋆.˚ "This doesn't change anything." – "You're literally eating cereal in my bed right now."
𐙚⋆.˚ "We should talk about this." – "Or we could just never mention it and live in denial forever?" – "...I like your plan better."
𐙚⋆.˚ "Do you regret it?" – "Do you?" – "I asked first." – "I'm asking second." – "We sound like idiots."
𐙚⋆.˚ "I should go." – "You've said that four times and you're still here."
𐙚⋆.˚ "This was supposed to be casual." – "You wrote me a poem." – "A HAIKU. It barely counts."
𐙚⋆.˚ "We can't tell anyone about this." – "I already told three people." – "IT'S BEEN TEN MINUTES."
· ─ Friendship With Weird Vibes Now ─ ·
𐙚⋆.˚ "Are we still friends or did last night make this weird?" – "It's definitely weird." – "Cool. Wanna get pizza anyway?"
𐙚⋆.˚ "I saw you with someone yesterday and I felt... something." – "Jealousy?" – "Indigestion. But maybe also jealousy."
𐙚⋆.˚ "Why are you being nice to me?" – "I'm always nice to you." – "Yeah but it feels DIFFERENT now and I don't like it."
𐙚⋆.˚ "We've been friends for five years." – "And?" – "And I just noticed you have really nice hands." – "What is happening."
𐙚⋆.˚ "I had a dream about you." – "Was it weird?" – "SO weird." – "Are you gonna tell me about it?" – "Absolutely not."
𐙚⋆.˚ "You can't just say stuff like that and expect me not to develop feelings." – "I said you have good taste in music." – "EXACTLY."
𐙚⋆.˚ "Do you ever think about us?" – "Like... in what context?" – "I don't know I panicked and said it."
𐙚⋆.˚ "Things feel different between us." – "Bad different?" – "Confusing different." – "Ah. The worst kind."
𐙚⋆.˚ "I miss when things were simple." – "You mean last week?" – "Yes. Ancient history. Simpler times."
𐙚⋆.˚ "We're not gonna be weird about this, right?" – "We're absolutely going to be weird about this."
· ─ Oblivious Person Meets Obvious Person ─ ·
𐙚⋆.˚ "I like you." – "Aw, I like you too!" – "No I mean—" – "We're such good friends!" – "That's not—" – "Best friends forever!"
𐙚⋆.˚ "I got you flowers." – "Oh that's so sweet! Is it my birthday?" – "No." – "Did I help you move?" – "No I just—" – "Aww you're so thoughtful for no reason!"
𐙚⋆.˚ "You look really beautiful tonight." – "Thanks! You look... present. Like you're here. Physically."
𐙚⋆.˚ "I can't stop thinking about you." – "Aw, that's so nice! I think about homework constantly too."
𐙚⋆.˚ "This restaurant is really romantic." – "I know right! Perfect for our weekly friend dinner."
𐙚⋆.˚ "I'm trying to tell you something." – "I'm listening!" – "I really care about you." – "I care about you too, buddy!" – "Not as a buddy." – "Super buddy?"
"Do you want to go out with me?" – "We're already out." – "No I mean as a—" – "Oh you want to go OUT out? Like outside?" – "I give up."
𐙚⋆.˚ "I've been flirting with you for MONTHS." – "Wait, THAT'S what that was?!" – "What did you think it was?!" – "Friendly banter!"
𐙚⋆.˚ "Can I kiss you?" – "Like on the cheek? Sure!" – "No I—" – kisses cheek – "There you go!" – "I'm in pain."
𐙚⋆.˚ "I'm in love with you." – "That's so nice! I love you too, pal!" – "ROMANTICALLY." – "...Oh. OH. Oh no."
