This Account Is An Accident

I literally just come up with batfam quotes off the top of my head

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Jason: I’m getting sick of your attitude.

Damian: I don’t recall anyone here asking for your opinion, Todd.

Jason: And I don’t recall anyone here asking for you to exist, but here we are.

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

All accounts are accidents

Lmao u right

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Jason: Tim, come here.

Tim: No!

Jason: Just come here!

Tim: No, you’re gonna hit me!

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Nightwing: I don’t always know what I’m doing, so sometimes I have to... wing it.

Red Hood: Do not ever speak to me again.

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Bruce: This family is driving me bat-shit crazy.

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Jason: Can you not pull your shit together because all you do is push everyone away?

Bruce:

Bruce: Get out.

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Damian: I like animals better than people.

Dick: You like them better than people?

Damian:

Damian: I don’t like people.

Dick: There it is.

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Jason: Dick, I have a question.

Dick: Sure, Jason, shoot.

Jason: *pulls out a handgun* If you insist...

Dick: NO, I DO NOT-

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Alfred: Master Bruce, I told you to stop staying up so late.

Bruce: I have to! What are you going to do, ground me?

Alfred:

Bruce:

Alfred: I’m taking away the keys to the Batmobile until further notice.

Bruce: No!

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Dick: Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Jason: Fuck you.

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Jason: All you need to know about dinosaurs is that they’re dead, alright?

Damian: And you know all about that, right?

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Damian: I believe I have begun to take after you, father.

Bruce: What? How?

Damian: I just bought two petting zoos, a humane society, and multiple pet stores.

Bruce:

Damian:

Alfred: He is not wrong, Master Bruce. Impulsively buying establishments is one of your... interesting qualities.

Bruce: Not helping, Alfred!

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Roy, taking off his shirt: Hey, Jason, wanna see a gun show?

Jason: *cocks a glock* No need.

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Tim: Can you get me a glass of water?

Jason: Get it yourself; you can walk! Do you have a crippling injury?

Tim: More like crippling depression, but okay then.

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Dick: I love you, Bruce. You’re like a father to me.

Bruce: I tolerate you.

Dick:

Bruce: I highly tolerate you.

Dick:

Bruce: *disgruntled mumbling*

Bruce: I love you, too...

Dick: And?

Bruce: *sigh* and you’re like the son I never had...

Dick: Aww! See, was that so hard?

Bruce: Yes.

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Bruce: Tim, no! You took a wrong turn again; even I don’t need maps to drive around here!

Tim: Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know that dinosaurs knew directions.

[inconvenient-bat-bagel]

Dick: I trusted you!

Jason: A horrible decision, really.