huh?

what’s going on? how did i get here? i’m so confused- this might as well happen

[incorectavengersquotes]

tony: you can lift up to 10 thousand kilograms? that’s like-

peter thinking about his abandoned nintendogs: almost enough to lift the weight of my sins, yes

tony: ????

[incorectavengersquotes]

Jarvis: remember, murder is never the answer

Peggy: of course, murder is the question

Peggy: and the answer is yes

[incorectavengersquotes]

*Jarvis and Peggy on the phone*

Peggy: Mr. Jarvis, what do you need?

Jarvis: I’m sitting in a pool of blood

Peggy: is it... your blood?

Jarvis: yeah, I think so

Peggy: do you know where it’s coming from?

Jarvis: probably the stab wound

Peggy: YOU’VE BEEN STABBED?!

Jarvis: oh, yeah, definitely

[incorectavengersquotes]

natasha teaching bucky how to drive: okay, you’re driving, and steve and sam walk into the road. quick, which do you hit?

bucky: oh, definitely sam. i could never hurt steve

natasha messaging her temples: the brakes. you hit the brakes

[incorectavengersquotes]

[Natasha trying to access the quinjet]

Natasha: Romanoff

Computer: Access Denied

Natasha: Natasha Romanoff

Computer: Access Denied

Natasha: THE BLACK WIDOW

Computer: Access Denied

Natasha internally groans: Natalie Rushman

Computer: Welcome, Scariest Avenger

[incorectavengersquotes]

News reporter interviewing Spider-Man: how did you take down Captain America?

Peter disguising his voice with a really bad German accent: I shot him in zee legs because his shield is the size of a dinner plate and he’s an idiot

Tony: Peter nO

[incorectavengersquotes]

Kidnappers: we have your child

Tony: no Nebula is right next to me, Peter’s doing his homework upstairs, and Morgan is eating a fruit pop in the kitchen

Kidnappers: then who keeps calling me a little shit who doesn’t know how to do anything right?

Tony: OH MY GOD THEY HAVE HARLEY

[incorectavengersquotes]

Peter: *sneezes*

Clint in the vents: bless you

Peter: god?

[incorectavengersquotes]

Peter face down on his bed talking to Ned: and then I called him dad

Tony trying not cry while talking to Rhodey: and then he called me dad

[incorectavengersquotes]

Bucky in the soul stone walking over to Peter: hey kid

Peter opening his eyes: oh my- I must be dead

Bucky laughing: you’re not dead kid, why would you think-

Peter: because your- your...

Peter: jESuS???

[incorectavengersquotes]

Peter chilling on the ceiling:

Bucky walking into the room: ah, a spider

Peter flinging himself off the ceiling at LIGHTENING speed: WHERE

[incorectavengersquotes]

Correction-

peter chilling on the ceiling:

bucky walking into the room: ah, a spider

bucky pulling out a broom:

peter waving his hands frantically: no wAIT!

bucky hitting peter repeatedly: don’t worry I got it

[incorectavengersquotes]

Peter chilling on the ceiling:

Bucky walking into the room: ah, a spider

Peter flinging himself off the ceiling at LIGHTENING speed: WHERE

[atreides-paul-deactivated202301]

BEST. VIDEO. EVER.

[almostcompletelyavengers-blog]

Seen this a million times still amazing need it on my blog

[incorectavengersquotes]

i’M CACKLING

[incorectavengersquotes]

Pepper: how was the camping trip?

Peter panting and visibly distraught: HE TRIED TO KILL ME.

Tony: HE SAID THE BUGS WERE BOTHERING HIM SO I SPRAYED HIM WITH BUG SPRAY.

Peter: A S S A U L T.

[incorectavengersquotes]

Marvel Characters as things I’ve said in school PT. 2

Tony: bruh, I ain’t living “comfortable”. I’m rich as fuck, look at these 5 dollars.

Steve: this is either breakfast or some sort of poison from the past. I’m eating it either way, just in case someone needed to know.

Bruce: did I just cure your stupidity? Fuck no, it’s lost to me.

Thor: look at them biceps, aren’t they tasty?

Clint: how about you come down and fight me for it

Natasha: hmm, I wonder if I’d get exspelled if I punched the principal

Bucky: holy shit, I just fucking died

Peter Parker: well fuck, did I just do that? I think I just did that. Someone tell me I didn’t just do that.

Shuri: why is my hand blue? FUCK, ALIENS.

T’challa: don’t make me scratch you

Loki: shit, I actually tried

Nick Fury: just how stupid do you think I am?

Coulson: huh, it’s actually funny how you thought I WOULD FALL FOR THAT BULLSHIT

And again...

Thanos: would you please get the fuck out of my space, you’re breathing my air and wasting the earth’s resources with your presence, thanks

[incorectavengersquotes]

Marvel Characters as things I’ve said in school

Tony: don’t fucking point at me

Steve: who said i did it? I was out being the self righteous bitch I am.

Bruce: did you just fucking pinch me? Bitch I will end you-

Thor: did I seriously just eat all of that?

Clint: holy shit, I just hit the principal with my goldfish

Natasha: [playing Kahoot] I’m a fucking assassin. iM a FuCKiNg aSsASsiN.

Bucky: does my eyeshadow make me look depressed?

Peter: well look at that, it’s that bitch we were talking about in geometry

Shuri: HA, I just beat your ass at jeopardy

T’challa: [hisses]

Loki: [playing tag and screaming] if you fucking touch me again, I will stab you with this plastic fork

Nick Fury: [one upping the tree I stubbed my toe on] fight me motherfucker and I will motherfucking break your motherfucking kneecaps like a motherfucking badass

Coulson: why are you shoving a book in my face, like you expect me to actually read it?

And finally,

Thanos: [in the middle of class] fuck everyone, why can’t I just kill half the population? Wouldn’t that be easier for everyone?

[incorectavengersquotes]

Peter casually walking around on his phone:

Tony, walks in, startled: PETER

Peter, jumps and falls off the ceiling: oh my god

Peter: I thought I was on the floor