incorrect 911

911, what's your damage?

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bobby: is there anyone here who’s actually straight?

eddie: *raises hand*

buck: *puts his hand down*

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buck: eddie and i are just friends, nothing more

chim: ...right

hen: *sneezes* sorry, i'm just allergic to bullshit

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athena, picking up the phone: what's wrong?

buck: why do you ask that? just because i'm calling you it doesn't mean there's something wrong

athena:

buck: anyway, eddie was stabbed...

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maddie: i'm small but knowing

buck: you don't know what the top shelf looks like

maddie:

maddie: bitch

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athena: stay out of trouble

buck: not my strong suit

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buck: hey, wanna hear a funny joke?

eddie: i'm more into dark humour

buck, turning the lights off: ok, so...

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buck: *staring out the window looking pensive*

eddie: he's so handsome, so thoughtful... i wonder what he's thinking about

buck, internally: wed-nes-day... whensday? wendesday?

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relationships are 50/50. he drives and i stare at how pretty he is.

— Eddie Diaz

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buck: i mean, yeah, we are best friends, but i would kiss you if you asked

eddie: what?

buck: what?

chimney, eating chips in the background: he said he would kiss you if you asked

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buck: hey bobby, how do you ask a glass of water what it's doing?

bobby: a glass of water is an inanimate object and is therefore incapable of having a thought process or understanding of basic language

buck:

buck: water you doing?

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buck, trying to do a magic trick: pick a card, any card

may: fine

buck: wait! that's my credit card

may: you said any card!

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eddie: i really like this guy but i don't know how to tell him

buck: just ask him to the movies this weekend

eddie: do you want to go to the movies this weekend?

buck: no, i meant ask him

eddie: i just did

buck: what did he say?

eddie: i don't know, you tell me

buck: what do you mean?

eddie: i like you, dumbass

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eddie: nobody thinks buck and i are dating

chimney: raise your hand if you think eddie and buck are dating!

everyone: *raises hands*

eddie: BUCK PUT YOUR HAND DOWN!

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bobby: athena, what do idk, ily, and ttyl mean?

athena: i don’t know, i love you, talk to you later

bobby: okay... i love you too, i’ll just ask may

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buck: i'm bisexual and confused

hen: about your sexuality?

buck: no. i just never know what's going on

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maddie: your boyfriend is calling you

buck: eddie is not my boyfriend

buck, answering the phone: hey, babe

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bobby: how would you describe yourself?

buck: verbally, but I’ve also prepared an interpretive dance number