Incorrect EGS Quotes

Quotes that the El Goonish Shive cast never actually said (but could have).

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Nanase: Multiple exclamation marks are the sure sign of a diseased mind.

Ellen: !!!!!

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Tedd: How heavy is the world?

Grace: *Lifts Tedd up*

Leona: Not that heavy.

Tedd, covering her face: Oh my God.

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Tedd: Grace give people the thumbs down instead of flicking them off from the car. She reports that the thumbs down makes people even more mad.

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Noah opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

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Elliot: You don't need perfect people to make a perfect team. You need people whose flaws feed into each other. It's, uh... what do you call it? Um...

Susan: Codependency.

Elliot: Synergy!

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Tedd: It is entirely unfair that cleaning is an act that must be repeated, I am not a god so why should I be expected to fight against entropy?

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Ellen: How did you know I was gonna propose?

Nanase: Elliot hasn't been able to look at me without crying all month.

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Nanase, at 3 AM: Babe, wake up...I figured out the JonBenét Ramsey murder case

Ellen, groggy, the fourth time this week she's woken her up at 3 am with that exact statement: OK, let's go over the facts

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Tedd: Isn’t it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it’s weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it’s funny. Don’t you think it’s odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us?

Susan: I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.

Tedd: I can’t tell if that’s funny or really scary.

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Tedd: The new plan is no plan. We wing it! It probably won't work, but I said it with a lot of confidence!

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Susan: But I’m a good cook! You all ate those brownies I brought in last week.

Tedd: I thought they were erasers.

Susan: Ashley said she loved them.

Ashley: I'm a textbook people-pleaser. It’s a serious problem.

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Tedd: Chest bump me! 

Elliot: You don't wanna do this, Tedd.

Tedd: No, I really do. 

Elliot: It hurts you every time. 

Tedd: No, I know, but I'm fired up. The adrenaline is gonna carry me through. Here we go! 

[Elliot and Tedd chest-bump, and Elliot effortlessly knocks Tedd to the floor.]

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Justin: Never have I ever... accepted the terms and conditions without reading them.

Ashley: It’s too risky! 

Ellen: Left a movie without watching the credits. 

Ashley: Those people worked hard! 

Diane: Used more than the recommended amount of conditioner.  

Ashley: They make the conditioner. They know what they are doing.

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Sarah: It was a gift from my mom.

Tedd: Your mom gives pretty bad gifts. Although, on the other hand, all my mom ever gave me was abandonment issues, so...

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Tedd: Of course! They are trying to lure me into a false sense of security! Well, jokes on them, I've never been secure in my life! And I'm not about to start now.

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Elliot: Don't stay up all night, Tedd. Last time you got this sleep deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

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Tedd: What's a gender neutral word you could use for your spouse? Wusband? Hife? Wifesband?

Everyone: *stares*

Tedd: ...I may be stupid.