Incorrect MHA

Incorrect quotes, various ships

[incorrect-mha]

Midoriya: I don’t wanna hurt their feelings.

Bakugo: Hurt their feelin- you just walk around all day, thinking about other people’s feelings?

Midoriya: Yeah, don’t you?

Bakugo: No! How do you get anything done?

Midoriya: It’s hard!

[incorrect-mha]

Kirishima: Mina is evil! She just wore that dress to torture me. Well, you know what? Two can play at that game. See at brunch, I’m going to torture Mina right back. Yeah. There’s a part of my body that she’s got a weakness for too.

Kaminari: Dude, you can’t whip that out at brunch.

Kirishima: No, not that. [Smirks] I’m going to unleash my calves.

Kaminari: *scoffs* That’s crazy. Nobody’s turned on by men’s calves. They’re a throughly unerotic body part.

Kirishima: Well, yeah, I’d say that too, if I had those skinny little chicken legs.

Kaminari:

Kirishima:

Kaminari: I’ll be waiting by the phone for your apology [leaves].

[incorrect-mha]

Bakugo: Come on sir, the math thing isn’t the problem. The night shift is keeping you and Present Mic apart, you two just need to bone.

Midoriya: *squeaks*

Aizawa: What did you say?

Midoriya: *loud whisper* Don’t say it again.

Bakugo: I said, you two need to bone.

Midoriya: *more terrified noises*

Aizawa: How. Dare. You. Katsuki Bakugo, I AM YOUR HOMEROOM TEACHER!!

[5 Minutes Later]

Aizawa: BONEEEEEE?!?!

[10 Minutes Later]

Aizawa: What happens in my bedroom, Dynamite, is NONE of your business!

[21 Minutes Later]

Aizawa: BoNeEeEeEeeee!!!

[40 Minutes Later]

Aizawa: Don’t ever, speak to me like that again.

Midoriya: [Curled up in a fetal position] Why did you do that?

Bakugo: [Unbothered] Dude was pent up, now he knows. Problem solved.

[incorrect-mha]

Shoto: [with his morning coffee] Ah, spring is on its way. Pop music is back. Coffee's almost warm. It's gonna be a good day.

Endeavor: [Walking in] Good morning, everyone.

Shoto: [Dumps coffee] Well, try again tomorrow.

[incorrect-mha]

Todoroki: Bakugo, you're going to have to stop screwing around if you want to be Midoriya’s boyfriend.

Bakugo: Woah, woah, woah. Haha! "Boyfriend"? I don't want to be Deku’s "boyfriend".

Todoroki: Well, what do you want, then?

Bakugo: I don't know. I just want to be with him. All the time. I want to hear about his day and tell him about mine. I want to hold his hand and smell his hair. *scoffs* But I don't want to be his stupid boyfriend.

Todoroki: Bakugo, what you just described is a relationship between boyfriends. And a pretty clingy one at that.

[incorrect-mha]

Bakugo: I came back, wearing the perfect disguise to make sure I was never noticed by anyone.

Class 1-A:

Bakugo: Something so drab and uninspiring...

Midoriya: This feels like it's going to be a dig on me.

Bakugo: I wore Deku’s clothes.

Midoriya: There it is.

[incorrect-mha]

Ochako: No, Tsu, this is serious. When that doctor told me I couldn't eat lobster and I did it anyway, it almost killed me. But here's the thing, I never wanted lobster again. So the solution is obvious. The only way to get Himiko out of my system is to get her into my system, one last time. It's brilliant, right?

Tsuyu: Not brilliant at all.

Ochako: Thanks for being on board.

Tsuyu: Not on board.

Ochako: It means a lot.

Tsuyu: Big mistake.

Ochako: You're my girl.

[incorrect-mha]

Ochako: Everything okay, Deku?

Deku: Uh, Eri got bullied at school this morning.

Iida: *Gasp* If we leave right now and take the connecting flight through Kyoto, we can be in Tokyo by noon, and that punk's house will be in ashes by 12:30!

Bakugo: No, no. Best thing you can do with bullies is ignore them.

Deku:

Ochako:

Iida:

Bakugo: Then you sneak into their house at 4:00 a.m., which, statistically speaking, is the hour people are least prepared to defend themselves.

Todoroki: *nods knowingly* Correct.

Bakugo: And once you're standing over them, as they sleep in their bed, you start to beat them. With a thick, heavy rope soaked in red paint. Pummeling them over and over until they wake, confusing the paint for their own blood. When they beg you to stop, you laugh as loud as you can, for as long as you can.

Iida: [Gulps]

Bakugo: And then you start to beat them again.

Ochako: [Drops mug]

Deku: Mmm. Yeah. You know, I may just hold off on anything like that until I connect with Mirio and just get the details, see what actually happened.

Bakugo: Yeah, all right. Yeah, fair enough.

Deku: But, thank you…?

[incorrect-mha]

Bakugo: Hey… be safe.

Deku: We will.

Kirishima: *mockingly* Be safe.

Kaminari: *playing along* I’ll be so safe.

Bakugo: You guys, stop.

Kaminari: I’ll be so safe for you.

Bakugo: Stop. I’m gonna kill you.

Kirishima: But how would that keep us safe?

[incorrect-mha]

Deku: Kacchan, if you die, do you want to be buried or cremated? Like, if you were hit by a bus today, what do I do?

Bakugo: Go after the bus driver and make him pay for what he did to me. Avenge me, Izuku. Avenge me!

Deku:

Bakugo: This funeral is really messing with your head, innit?

Deku: I found this company, and they bury you in a biodegradable sack. So when your body decomposes, it fertilizes the seeds of a fruit tree. That's what I want. Because then you and all the people that love me can eat the fruit from my tree.

Bakugo: That is fucking mental.

Deku: Coming from the man that wants me to ruin a bus driver's life just 'cause he killed you swerving to avoid a child.

Bakugo: I didn't know about the fucking child.

[incorrect-mha]

Tokoyami: Hey, I've been tailing Dabi, and I think you were right. There's something weird going on with that guy.

Hawks: I knew it. Ugh! I can't believe I'm gonna sleep with him.

Tokoyami: …Well, you don't have to.

Hawks: No, I'm gonna.

[incorrect-mha]

Bakugo: We didn’t even have a proper wedding. We just went down to the courthouse on a Tuesday.

Deku: The judge sentenced me to life with no chance of parole.

Bakugo: You begged me to marry you.

Deku: It’s true, I did.