(in)correct tss quotes

These are all 100% accurate quotes, straight from the horse's mouth.

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Doyle: My motto is, "If you doo-doo on yourself..."

Doyle:

Doyle: And I live by that.

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Doc: Who's cooking the food for Thanksgiving?

Doyle: I am!

Doc: No seriously, who's cooking?

Doyle: I'm serious, I'm making it right now.

Doc: HELL NO, STOP!

Doyle: NO, YOU'RE GONNA EAT THIS!

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Van Rook: What is wrong with you, Doyle?

Van Rook: Every time I come into this house, there's no food in the refrigerator

Van Rook: Have you heard of grocery shopping?

Doyle: STOP COMING INTO MY GODDAMN HOUSE

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Beeman: How does it feel to be the worst scientist ever, huh?

Miranda: Shut up, your mother buys you megablocks instead of legos

Beeman: you take that back

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Doc: Doyle, this is a crime scene!

Doyle: [piling hagen daas containers into his arms]

Doyle: What is this, the murder weapon? Get off my dICK!

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Doc: Zak, what do you want to eat?

Kur: THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT

Zak: A bagel.

Kur: NOOOOOOOO

Zak: ...two bagels

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Zak: [filming on Francis' phone] This is how I enter our dorm.

Zak: [kicks the door in] WHAT'S UP, FUCKERS

Francis: WHY DO YOU HAVE MY PHONE

Zak: FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Doyle: A lot of people think the Loch Ness Monster doesn't exist, don't they? Now, I don't know anything about zoology, biology, geology

Doyle: geography, marine biology, crypto-zoology

Doyle: evolutionary theory, evolutionary biology

Doyle: meteorology

Doyle: limnology

Doyle: history

Doyle: herpatology

Doyle: paleontology

Doyle: or archeology

Doyle: but I think

Doyle:

Doyle:

Doyle: what if a dinosaur had got in the lake?

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Drew: [hugging Zak and Doyle] Are you guys okay? Tell me you're okay.

Doyle & Zak: No, we’re fine.

Drew: Oh good.

Drew: [yanks their ears] THEN WHAT WERE YOU TWO KNUCKLEHEADS THINKING??!!

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Wadi: Let me get this straight, more like let me run this bi you

Ulraj: Let's pan this all out

Francis: Let's ace-ess the situation

Zak: I'm gay

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Doyle: I am not drunk!

Doc: Can you tell the time?

Doyle: Yes.

Doyle: [turns and points to a wall clock] I AM NOT DRUNK!

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Drew: You need them to think you're stronger than you actually are.

Miranda: Is that what you do?

Drew: Me? Oh, no. My power is no illusion. I can fucking demolish you.

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Drew: If you stop eating refined sugars for a while, it changes your whole palate. You'll start to notice the natural sweetness of baby carrots or whole wheat bread!

Doyle: [pouring chocolate-covered potato chips into his mouth] That's really fuckin' neato.

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Francis: I just got a new notebook, what should I put in it?

Zak: Put spaghetti in it.

Francis: I am taking suggestions from anyone else.

Wadi: Put spaghetti in it.

Francis: I am taking suggestions from anyone except you two.

Ulraj: Put spaghetti in it.

Francis: I am no longer taking suggestions.

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Miranda: I wish I had the ability to make men really nervous.

Drew: Holding a sword to their throat usually does the trick for me.

Doc: As a man, I can confirm that this makes me really nervous.

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

Francis: You keep hugging Zak when he’s upset.

Francis: Next thing you know, he’s going to fall in love with you. Is that what you want?

Wadi: *scoffing* Is that what I want.

Ulraj, loudly over a speaker: Yes.

[incorrect-tss-quotes]

[A loud thud noise]

Miranda: Arthur, did you just fall?

Beeman: No, I attacked the floor

Miranda: Backwards?

Beeman: I’m fucking talented