Davrin: Sometimes people ask us how we manage Assan and Manfred so easily.
Emmrich: The answer is, we don't.
Davrin: Yesterday Assan squawked from the living room and when I got there, Manfred shot me in the throat with a Nerf gun.
$LAYYYTER

Kiana Khansmith

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@incorrect-veilguard
Davrin: Sometimes people ask us how we manage Assan and Manfred so easily.
Emmrich: The answer is, we don't.
Davrin: Yesterday Assan squawked from the living room and when I got there, Manfred shot me in the throat with a Nerf gun.
Spite: One time, I ate 150 jalapeños in under 2 minutes.
Spite: Everyone at the infirmary was so impressed.
Rook: Truth or dare?
Lucanis: Truth.
Rook: How many hours of sleep have you gotten this week?
Lucanis: Dare.
Rook: Go to sleep.
Lucanis: I don't like this game.
[texting]
Bellara: FHFJRJKFKDL
Lucanis: What is that?
Bellara: It's a keyboard smash.
Lucanis: How do I do it?
Bellara: Just press anything.
Lucanis: 7
[playing scrabble]
Harding: I'll put down my A and make 'A'.
Emmrich: I will put down my T to make 'AT'.
Harding: I'll put down my R and make 'RAT'.
Emmrich: And I will add onto your RAT and make 'BIOSTRATEGRAPHIC.'
Harding: [flips board]
Bellara: Professor, if astronauts and cavemen got into a fight, who would win?
Davrin: Yeah, what do you think?
Emmrich: You've been yelling at each other for 40 minutes over this?
Emmrich:
Emmrich: do the astronauts have weapons
Davrin: It must be nice, being rich instead of having to develop a personality.
Lucanis: Shut up.
Davrin: Buy my silence.
Rook: Neve just called and said "I see you, last one to Papa John's loses."
Rook: She's going 90 in a 55 and gets pulled over. I'm laughing cause she's getting a ticket and I'm gonna win.
Rook: Next thing I know, this woman flies by me and is getting a POLICE ESCORT TO PAPA JOHN'S.
Rook: gods
[in the kitchen]
Assan: [squawks]
Lucanis: You want a tomato, you fool? You won't eat it.
Assan: [squawks louder]
Neve: I think I'm going to order the clam strips.
Rook: How big are they?
Neve: Have you ever seen a chicken strip?
Rook: I've never seen a chicken wear clothes???
Bellara: Look, I made a marshmallow Neve! Her arms are folded because she's mad at the Venatori for annoying her.
Bellara: Do you like it?
Neve: [tearing up] it's fine
[addressing the newly-assembled Veilguard]
Rook: You're going to see some uncomfortable things on this job, and we'll face some sensitive issues. I expect everyone to be adults and talk about it, and work together.
The Veilguard: [quiet whispering]
Rook: First question: A PopTart- is it a calzone?
The Veilguard: [outrage]
[Emmrich's birthday]
Emmrich, holding a box: [sighs] You promised you wouldn't get me bees again.
Taash, from a distance: just open it
Lucanis: Can I ask, exactly how does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?
Harding: Microwave for 40 minutes.
Lucanis: Why were you microwaving a lemon?
Harding: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells, but I didn't have any pots.
Lucanis: What?
Harding: I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges.
Lucanis: Did you burn an orange too? How?
Harding: Microwave for 40 minutes.
Neve: I told you not to wear it in the shower.
Taash, holding a soggy Burger King crown: I don't need a lecture right now.
Taash, walking up to the receptionist: Hey, I need a doctor's appointment.
Receptionist: Is 10 tomorrow okay?
Taash: No, I don't need that many.
Bellara, texting Neve: [sends voice message]
Neve, texting back: I'm a little busy, is it urgent?
Bellara: No, don't worry, just listen later.
[later]
Neve: [presses play]
Bellara's voice message: THERE'S A FIRE-