it's all in the handbook!

incorrect quotes blog for beetlejuice the musical. sideblog to strcngeunusual. submissions/requests open!

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

Delia: If you put “violently” in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier. Lydia: Violently studies. Adam: Violently bakes. Barbara: Violently trains. Beetlejuice: Violently murders people. Charles: Violently worries about that previous statement.

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

[At a restaurant] Beetlejuice: I'll have the number eight. Adam: That's a party platter. It serves twelve people. Beetlejuice: I know what I'm about, son.

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

Adam: There’s only one race. The human race-

Beetlejuice: What about NASCAR??

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

It’s called ukulele screamo and it’s art.

Beetlejuice [during that one part in The Whole Being Dead Thing]

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

Barabra: It's unhealthy to eat after 7pm.

Lydia [eating cake at 3am]: Well, fortunately time is an illusion.

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

Barbara: Can you overdose on vitamin d? Lydia: That’s technically how Icarus died. Adam: iCarly is dead?

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

Beetlejuice: What are these? 

Adam: Oh I have socks for each of the Hogwarts houses and I wear them based on my mood. 

Beetlejuice: Uh huh. 

Adam: Like if I’m taking charge of something, I wear my Slytherin socks, if I’m gonna do a lot of reading I’ll wear the Ravenclaw, if I feel like cuddling I’ll wear the Hufflepuff ones, and if I’m feeling like a boss ass bitch I wear Gryffindor. Ya feel me? 

Beetlejuice: Sure...

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

Adam: License and registration please.

Beetlejuice: Here ya go.

Adam:

Adam: This is a get out of jail free card.

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

If you ever go to see Beetlejuice the musical in person, try getting some of the cast to say the incorrect quotes!

I’m hoping to see it if it goes on tour as I do NOT have the money for NY or anyone to take me if I did. But if it does and I do go..........this is a great idea and let’s hope I don’t chicken out lmao!! Thanks for the ask! <333

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

Not a quote but you posting about my markiplier quotes and saying you loved them made me feel a whole lot less annoying for all the stuff I sent so thanks dude. Also I love this blog so much it’s hilarious!

Dude, I love Markiplier in general so honestly it was amazing! And you or none of you guys could ever EVER be annoying for sending in quotes, no matter how many there are -- it makes less work for me tbh in trying to find some. Thank you thank you! <333333

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

me, coming home: oh man i dont have anything left in the queue for tomorrow so i gotta look for stuff real fast

me, coming online and seeing a handful of submissions:.....G--God, are you real?

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

Delia: This is horrible! This is the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me! Lydia: Even more humiliating than-- Delia: Let's not do this.

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

Charles: All right, we’re going to a resort, and I’ve just been informed that the man who owns the resort only has one arm.

Lydia: Oh, yes! Yay! Yes!

Charles: Now, I’m telling you three weeks in advance, so that you will not freak out when you see that he only has one arm.

Lydia: Oh, we’re gonna freak out so bad!

Charles: Yes, Lydia, you have a question?

Lydia: How did he lose his arm?

Charles: That’s exactly what you won’t ask.

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

Delia: How do we put the fire out?

Lydia: Use my body, I don’t need it.

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

Delia: Okay, we need to light five black candles at midnight in a salt circle with black crystals and say this incantation and maybe the spirit will leave. 

Lydia [banging pots and pans]: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU UNDEAD MOTHERFUCKER!

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

Beetlejuice: I made a pot of Kool-Aid. Lydia: You don’t make a pot of Kool-Aid…

Beetlejuice: Well, I did. Lydia: Is it hot?

Beetlejuice: Yeah!

Lydia: I’m not gonna drink it. Beetlejuice: I made this FOR YOU! Lydia: Why don’t you grow up ? Beetlejuice: DRINK IT OR I’LL POUR IT ON THE FLOOR AND BLAME IT ON YOU

[incorrectbeetlejuice]

Lydia: Wise words? 

Adam:........... Pumpkin spice is for year round flavoring.