Incorrect Legendlark Quotes

A fan account for the hilarious DnD 5e podcast starring Kat, Noel, Juniper, Errol, and Sophia. Love submissions!

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Fran: As your merciful ruler, I hereby decree that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be…

Fran: …Executed.

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Faylen: Today, Fran put a seashell to her ear and told me the ocean said I’m a nerd.

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Faylen: For the first five years of my life, I thought my name was The Accident.

Torvah: It was a playful joke!

Faylen: You wrote it on my birthday cake!

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Faylen: You often use humor to deflect trauma.

Corbin: Thank you.

Faylen: ? I didn't say it was a good thing.

Corbin: What I'm hearing is

Corbin: you think I'm funny.

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Slake: I’m volunteering at the animal hospital!

Corbin: Animal hospital!?

Slake: …The animals are the patients.

Corbin, with immeasurable disappointment: That makes sense…

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Guard: Sir, I was informed that you have pot on you.

Corbin: Oh, you mean this? [Pulls out flower pot.]

Guard: Oh, my mistake. What are you growing?

Corbin: weed.

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Faylen: New year, new me! [burns off finger prints]

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Corbin: I wanna tell a joke but I only remember the punch line.

Fran: Go ahead.

Corbin: Tooth hurty.

Fran: When is the best time to go to the dentist?

Corbin: You complete me.

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Maeri: I want you to look me straight in the eyes-

Laika: You can’t have me look at those eyes and expect me to be straight.

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Corbin: to YOU it’s a ufo.

Slake:

Corbin: I know what it is

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Corbin: That’s right! It’s a blast from your past, with that sass and lovely ass.

Corbin: [Strikes a pose.] Am I… Man enough for you?

Torvah: Why can’t you take this seriously!?

Corbin: Because that’s what you want, and I’m not gonna give it to you.

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Faylen: i want to play hades irl

Faylen: and by that i mean i want to stand outside my father’s house and wave a sword around while calling him a bitch

Faylen: i’ve never played hades

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Fran: Helpful grammar tip!

Fran: Farther is for physical distance, further is for metaphorical distance-

Milava: And father is for emotional distance.

Corbin: Who hurt you?

Milava: My dad, did you not hear me?

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Corbin: Hey, I need some advice.

Faylen: And you came... to me?

Corbin: Yes.

Faylen: ...A terrible choice.

Corbin: Look, if I wanted to FIX my problems, I wouldn’t be here. Now, come on and help me do the wrong thing.

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Faylen: I have a new hoodie-

Fran: Wrong.

Faylen: ?

Fran: We have a new hoodie.

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“It’s not my fault I’m hot and sexy and think I’m always right.”

- Fran

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Summary of Arc Two, Into Avelis: