Come In Babe, We’re Blaspheming

They may judge you, but their sins outnumber your own. — DNI: Cultcore, weight loss on main, Nazis, and Aro/Ace/other LGBTQ+ exclusionists. If you are not excult (excluding those listed above), you are free to interact as long as you are respectful. Behave yourself. — Blank blogs PLEASE put something in your tagline (like “not a bot just a dude”), maybe add an icon while you’re at it. — LevyMcGarden55’s exmormon/ex cult sideblog. Queer. My content is #Rain speaks, my edits are #my edits — I do my best to keep my blog accessible to those with screen readers. The tags are #accessible and #inaccessible.

[itsraining-somewhereelse]

Anyone wanna burn the family proclamation for me?

So I’m in mormon country and pride’s this Saturday. In a perfect world I have an art piece to show at it, and I’ve decided on the one I want to make:

A picture of a burning family proclamation (photoshopped by me to have rainbow flames) and bold letters (also done by me) that say “your god can’t tell me who to love.” It would be titled “Reclamation.”

But I can’t do the burning part rn, so anybody wanna step up and send me some nice pictures of a burning family proclamation? Credit would look like this: “Reclamation by [me], photograph courtesy of [you].”

Pls get me the pictures asap if you want to help. Thank you (:

[aftranforever]

[itsraining-somewhereelse]

[id: several pictures of the family proclamation burning in a tub]

YEAAAAAA TY!!!! I’ll update when I have the finished piece, this is lovely!!!!

[itsraining-somewhereelse]

[id: a screenshot of a comment by @honeyduchessxx that reads “If you want to make a weak country, destroy families. If you have strong families you have a strong country. Sounds like YOU are full of hate and judgement and are happy to destroy America.”]

Oh honey, it sounds like one of two things are happening here. Either you’re not mormon and therefore don’t know what you’re talking about, or your mormon, cishet, and parroting talking points. (Also you immediately assume I’m concerned abt the US lol.) I had to survive people like you for years and I’m done w that, so kindly fuck off.

But, if it really turns out that me kissing whoever I want is going to take down America, then lmao I’m gonna fuckin do it.

[itsraining-somewhereelse]

Don’t look now but the US has been destroyed

[id: an edited version of one of the earlier burning family proclamation pictures. Now it’s cropped, the background cleaned up, and the flames are rainbow. Overlaid text reads “no god can tell us who to love”]

[volach-deactivated20230326]

“When the handle has snapped off the basket that held all your eggs…” gone girl tier monologue

[womenintheirwebs-archived]

wow she read them down

[wander-without-cause]

When you manage a fabric store in a midwest town, you see this played out in real time. Young women coming in during that first year of marriage - when their husbands go to dental college - pert, bubbling with creative plans. Then, four years on, you help them shift to the reality of balancing budget with creativity - and they learn the value of that inexpensive flatfold table that they used to badmouth - to make that 2nd & 3rd baby their own quilts. And they're exhausted. And they're scared. And they are 1000 miles away from family.

And you have your staff play with their kids while you hold them in the tiny restroom as they come completely undone because they just found out that their golden boy husband is having an affair with the someone he's been doing residency with for the past three years.

He confessed that he'd rather be with the other woman but she's of a different faith and it's more important to have kids than to be happy. And no. No he will not grant her a divorce. And he will not stop seeing the other woman - because he's a man. It's his right.

TRUE story.

Also - She was NOT THE ONLY ONE to fall to pieces in our store for similar reasons.

I loath the ideology of "tradwives". It is a false doctrine preach by Patriarchy not a divine being.

It is the nature of evil to hide this way.

.

[jeza-red]

This is 100% what happened to the host mom I've been au-pairing for. And to many other moms my friends have been au-pairing for.

Married out of college, 4 kids, he spent 15 years building up his career while she took care of the house and the kids. When he was earning $600k a year suddenly he started to pull away - she wasn't as pretty anymore, the kids were loud, the house was a mess... She wasn't good enough anymore. He got himself a flat. He got her me and my precedessors to help with the kids. No, they can't divorce, that would make him pay her money for the kids and he didn't like that. Every once in a while a bill would be unpaid. My weekly checks would bounce. We lived in a $1,5mil house around DC and our gas or water was turned off more than once.

Somehow he was always out of money.

By accident she learned from a friend of a friend that he was actually seeing a young lady lawyer for a few years now. It wasn't her, it wasn't lost interest. He was just a piece of shit.

Thankfully, she had family that took no shit and they stood behind her and borrowed her money for lawyers to force the divorce now that she had proof of him cheating. She's spent tens of thousands to get there while he was resisting every step of the way - because without divorce he wouldn't have to pay her alimony, he could just throw scraps whenever he wanted and still pretend to be a good dad.

She's spent tens of thousands and two years to free herself from this man, and when she could finally go to work (thank fuck she finished college) she was earning $25k a year.

She only managed to get away with the support of her parents and family. Through the au-pair grapevine I've known other families like that. Too many. Lady down the street tried to commit suicide when same happened to her - she was from Taiwan and had no support to get free. And people around scorned her for being "dramatic" - women who held on to their places with their fingertips talked shit about her, because their own husbands would never...! Right?

Right?

[techmomma]

This? This is the kind of shit that first wave feminists and suffragettes were fighting against. Hell, even into second-wave feminism.

This? Is why conservatives want to take away no-fault divorce--because if some dude says no to a divorce and you don't have any (IRON-TIGHT) evidence of cheating? Then you're stuck in that situation and he doesn't have to pay a drop toward you and your kids. He can go get a flat, fuck his mistress, and you will starve with your kids until you can get some kind of proof of him cheating and a judge who likes you.

Now imagine all of this horror movie shit, AND you can't open a bank account without this piece of shit opening it with you. That was what women dealt with until about the 70s when we were finally allowed to open bank accounts with a man's signature.

That is what conservatives and fundies want to take you back to. When this shit was just the fucking norm.

There are old white guys still alive who remember who damn nice it was when a woman couldn't open a bank account without a man's signature and his dad could go live a double life with a mistress with zero repercussions and oh how they slather and drool for those times. And how they have waxed poetic about these halcyon days to their desperate daddy-issues sons now eager to please and without the social skills or emotional maturity to understand the fucked up nature of it all.

I'm willing to bet there's like 2 or 3 Tradhusbands(tm) out there for every Tradwife you see, they just haven't found someone they can sink their claws into. Which should maybe terrify you. This Tradwife(tm) movement should really be considered a canary in the coal mine.

[apricustar]

an extra special happy pride to anyone who is not out to their parents or their friends or other loved ones, to anyone who isn’t even out anywhere at all yet, online or off, and to anyone who is still questioning and figuring themselves out, who is still searching for the right words, or isn’t sure any fit. this month is for you too

[entity56]

"Don't eat all of that sugary food..."

"...You'll gain weight" 🚫

Wrong

Body negative

You need way more calories than a slice of cake to gain even one pound

"...You'll get sick" ✔

Correct

Sugar is good but if you eat too much you get stummy ache :(

Better when eaten in moderation anyway

Prioritizes listening to your body

"...Without me" 👀

Secret third option?

Encourages community

Get sick with someone you love

World's best bonding activity

[renthony]

I've been seeing a lot of posts lately that tell dropouts "you can always go back!"

And that's not bad! It's true for a lot of people! You CAN go back later! You can apply to university, you can get your GED, you can pursue whatever level of education you want. It's not bad to share that message. If you dropped out and want to go back eventually, there is zero timeline. You can go back at any age, with any life experience. You do not have to graduate by a specific age.

But as someone who dropped out of college over a decade ago, sometimes "you can always go back!" starts to feel a little like an empty platitude. Sometimes it starts to feel grating instead of hopeful. Even when it might technically be true, sometimes it still feels like a hollow sentiment.

I just want to say, to anyone else out there who feels that way, who dropped out and CAN'T go back, potentially EVER, whether it's due to poverty or disability or any other reason:

It's okay to drop out and never go back. It might feel shitty, and you may even feel grief over it. That's real, and painful, and allowed. But you are not lesser. Even if you never go back, you are not a failure or a loser. Academics do not define your worth. You are not stupid. And it is almost certain that the system actually failed YOU.

With love,

A fellow burnout

[renthony]

A couple people have reblogged this with the comment that it's also okay to be totally confident in the decision to drop out, and to not grieve about it at all. And you know what? Yeah! They're right!

I personally still deal with a lot of grief about how my university career ended, but that's just one experience. I know other people with zero regrets, who talk openly about the ways that dropping out literally saved their lives. Life throws nasty curveballs sometimes.

So, to everyone who dropped out, for whatever reason, and however you feel about it: the educational system is a fucking minefield, but academics don't define your worth, and sometimes dropping out is the only option. Rock on.

[demonprincex]

you don't "hate kids," you hate being forced into a caretaking role.

you don't "hate kids," you hate censorship passed off as family values.

you don't "hate kids," you hate the constrictiveness of the nuclear family.

you don't "hate kids," you're just not used to occupying fully age diverse spaces so you're not used to the noise or the many different kinds of needs.

you don't "hate kids," most public spaces just aren't built for kids, and so the few kids you see are always uncomfortable and distressed.

you don't "hate kids," you hate the intense social rules assigned to kids and anyone who interacts with kids.

You don't "hate kids," you hate how society reproduces its most restrictive elements and how kids are powerless to resist it.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

there's a fine line between being wary of manipulation and becoming completely paranoid because you get very close to the realisation that pretty much all human interaction involves doing things we hope will lead to a result we like

[dragon-in-a-fez]

this post is about a lot of things. it's about my ex saying it was manipulative to talk to them in a cute voice because that influenced their emotions. it's also about someone on this webbed site saying being funny is "engagement farming". like yeah every single conversation you have is going to be "manipulative" if your standard for that is "did something with the goal of eliciting a response". if that bothers you go live in a hut in the forest and speak only to the trees. I'll be over here manipulating my friends into being happy by giving them compliments

[creekfiend]

we are broadly so fucking bad at being good friends to people who Cannot Leave

there are people who Cannot Leave. hopefully it's not the case for their whole lives but it is the case for them RIGHT NOW. and even trauma and abuse aware communities are shitassfuck bad at knowing how to be a supportive friend to these people and I find it soooo fucking frustrating. it's condescension and scolding and unrealistic standards and victim blaming and minimizing all the way fucking down .

[lailah-tov]

It's so important to educate yourself about why people stay in bad situations and how to help someone who can't leave or goes back. Any sentence starting with "You should just" is bad, but "You should just leave" is one of the worst.

[creekfiend]

thank you for those links!

[hereticcoyote]

I feel like I sometimes fall into the trap of needing to prove to people that I am doing way better now that I’ve left the church, because I feel like if I’m not doing better then that proves their point that life outside of God will only lead to suffering. I’m sure a lot of other exvangelicals have felt the same way.

So this is just a reminder that it is okay if you are struggling. It’s okay if leaving didn’t immediately fix your life. The economy sucks and the people in power don’t care about us and the job market is terrible and people are more angry and hateful than ever. If you’re poor or sick or dealing with mental illness or all of the above, it is not because God is trying to tell you something. Your suffering does not mean that you should have stayed in the faith. Going back would not take away your struggle, and you do not need to prove anything to anyone.

[hereticcoyote]

honestly the hardest part of deconverting was just feeling like i’d failed.

i was warned constantly that the world outside the church would try to take away my faith, that the temptation of sin was around every corner and if i didn’t maintain my relationship with God, it would catch me.

i was told that college was dangerous because i would be constantly tempted by the devil.

so when i finally started admitting that i wasn’t Christian anymore, i was overcome with the feeling that maybe i just wasn’t strong enough, maybe i should’ve gone to bible study or found a church on my campus, i should have prayed more, i should have read the bible more, maybe if i’d just abstained from drinking and kissing girls id still be a believer, maybe all the doubts i was having were just worldly distractions and i wasn’t faithful enough to ignore them, maybe i just wasn’t good enough

and i think that’s honestly the main reason it took me so long to admit it

[grandpa-spooks]

If hell is real, a loving God would be doing more to keep us from it. The answer I usually get to this is that God has provided enough evidence and is leaving room for faith. Which would make sense… if we weren’t facing a torturous fate. With low stakes, low effort is excusable.

But when the stakes are that high? A God who truly loved us would be doing EVERYTHING to save us from it, even if that meant appearing right before our eyes. He would be doing many things that he is obviously not. If my loved ones were in mortal peril, there is nothing in this world that could keep me from trying to help. Just because I love them.

So I can only conclude that he is either not real, lying about Hell, or apathetic to my wellbeing. Whatever the answer— fake, liar, or apathetic—, that is not a God I want to serve.

If God loved me, he would try harder.

[distractedpebble]

I think one of the most healing things about decision from Christianity is being able to answer "I never asked him to" when people try to guilt me with "but he died for you!" Yeah well, I never asked. If God is truly all-powerful and all-knowing, then why did he need to sacrifice his son? Why not clap his hands and say "you're all forgiven"?

Oh that's right.

Cause then they couldn't control you with guilt. If he had just forgiven anyone, there would be no emotional blackmail, no way to make you feel like you owed it to someone who did something for you without asking.

Well that doesn't work on me anymore. The guilt is gone and I can breathe again.

[succubusboyfriend]

practicing self care less out of self love and more for the sheer logical reasoning of it’d be kinda stupid of me to expect myself to be able to function without proper maintenance

[succubusboyfriend]

“oh i don’t deserve rest and relaxation, i haven’t done enough, i haven’t earned it” and my car’s breaks don’t deserve break fluid because they aren’t breaking well enough to earn it. that’s what you sound like!!!!!

[ndnbutch]

fyi. being intensely self critical is not the same as being self aware. if you’re really self aware you’ll be aware of the good stuff too. just in case anyone needs to hear it. don’t mistake constantly dissecting what you see as your flaws for some kind of personal enlightenment.

[wisedreamdelusion]

today is Sunday to every being in the world wake up drink your favorer drink and say i will have perfect nice day .

[veryluckyclovers]

[itsraining-somewhereelse]

[id: I’m proud of you for staying alive even though things are hard and scary]

[andreauxminyard]

you really do turn thirty and everything is different and sometimes better. if you're in line for thirty stay in line bro