All True

I'm going to revive this fandom using my own blood and tears. Enjoy the blog! Also, this blog follows the canon of the musical.

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Rita: Why would you give a knife to Phil?!

Ned, shrugging: Phil felt unsafe.

Rita: Now I feel unsafe!

Ned: I’m sorry…

Ned: Would you like a knife?

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Rita: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there?

Ned: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.

Rita:

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Rita: HOW DID THE VAN CATCH ON FIRE?

Larry: A dragon sneezed.

Nancy: I tried to light a cigar with a flamethrower.

Phil: Dropped my latest mixtape.

Rita: Ned, please tell me what happened.

Ned: Um...

[flashback to when Larry was arguing with Phil and Nancy that it's impossible to set a fire extinguisher on fire]

Ned: I don't remember.

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Jonathan: Hey, aren't you Phil Connors?

Phil: You a cop?

Jonathan: No?

Phil: Then yes, I am.

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Ned: Hey, Phil, what does IDK, ILY and TTYL mean?

Phil: I don't know, I love you, talk to you later.

Ned: Okay. I love you too, I'll go ask Rita.

Phil: Wait, Ned-

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Rita: Ned isn't answering his phone

Phil: I’ll call

Rita: Larry and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Ned: Hello?

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Phil: That's not funny.

Larry: I thought it was funny.

Phil: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

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Debbie: [yawns]

Freddie: Yea, being that pretty must be tiring.

Debbie: Then you much be exhausted.

Phil: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

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Phil: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’

Nancy: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

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Ned: Going to plan B?

Nancy: Technically, that would be plan G

Phil: How many plans do we have? Do we have, like, a plan M?

Nancy: Yea, but Phil dies in plan M.

Rita: I like plan M.

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Rita: Did you buy eggs like I asked? Phil: Even better! Rita: What the fuck did you- Phil: [holding up a chicken] Her name is Fluffy.

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Rita: It's locked. You got a lock pick?

Larry: Yea-

Phil: [Kicks in the door]

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Phil: When I was young I left a trail of broken hearts like a rock star. I'm not proud of it.

Larry: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

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Rita: I have a bad feeling about this.

Phil: What do you mean?

Rita: Don't you ever have that little voice in your head that tells you you're about to get in trouble?

Phil: No.

Rita: That actually explains a lot.

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Buster: A party is a celebration of life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they're loved. Phil has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for him.

Rita: By forcing him to have fun at a party he doesn't want to be at?

Buster: I knew you'd understand.

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Phil: Fuck.

Rita: We've got to work on your cursing.

Phil: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

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Skydiving instructor: We cant let you jump without a parachute

Phil with an umbrella: you've gotta trust me on this I have seen it done before