HU Quotes

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Charlie: *dials 911*

Charlie: Hey i hate to be “that guy” but I glued myself to the ceiling again

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Danny: Things have actually been going really well with Charlie. Our friendship is in a really good place.

Charlie: Last week I said, “Did you know the weiner dog is neither a weiner nor a dog?” Instead of saying, “Shut up, Charlie,” they said, “Okay.”

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I’m sick of of following my dreams. I’m just gonna ask where they’re going and hook up with them later

-Jordon

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Jordon: JOREL! I LOST MY GUITAR!!!

Jorel: And? I lost my sanity

Jordon: ...I need help finding it

Jorel: Why?

Jordon: Because I need it!

Jorel: Well no one helped me look for my sanity but I’m still okay

Jordon: ....I’ll just ask Danny for help

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Jordon: FOUR MONTHS!

Dylan: What?

Jordon: YOU STOOD BY AND WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT FOR FOUR MONTHS

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Danny: W-Where am I?

Jordon: *sarcastically* Heaven

Danny: huh....didn’t expect you to be here

Jordon: BITC-

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George: Do you understand the plan, now that I’ve explained it for 15 minutes?

Danny: Yes!

George: Are you lying to me?

Danny: Yes.

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Jorel: What’s going on?

Dylan: Jordon may have died

Jorel: Jordon MAY have died!?

Danny: We’re looking into it

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It’s a competition of fucks up and I’M HERE TO WIN!

Jorel

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Jorel: I regret giving you that blender

Danny: *Drinking a pizza* why?

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Jordon: You know it’s bad when you wake up in a pentagram

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Jorel: I’m going to make instant noodles

Jordon: Make sure to drink it hot so it can warm up your cold, dead heart

Jorel, mumbles: Don’t fucking tell me what to do

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Jordon: If I quit drinking, I’d lose the best excuse I’ve ever had in my life, which is, ‘I’m really sorry about last night, I was just so drunk.’ That is a get-out-of-jail-free card you don’t even realize that you have until you lose it. I would have to be like, ‘I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud. It will probably happen again.’

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George: I will personally introduce you to the ground, and trust me your relationship will be intimate

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Jorel: Come on now, I wasn’t that drunk!

Danny: You tried to color my face with a highlighter because you said I was important

Jorel: But you are!

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Jorel: Alright Danny, you word is-

Danny: Danny, D-A-N-N-I-E, Danny

Jorel: No that’s not your word, that’s your name

Jorel: And you misspelled it

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Danny: Can I have candy?

Dylan: What did J say?

Danny: No.

Dylan: Then why would I let you?

Danny: Hes not the boss of you

Dylan, internally: It’s a trap