Incorrect Kismet Quotes

Just a blog of incorrect quotes because I love the chaotic group

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Hype: This is our nutcase, Trickee.

Trickee: Thank you.

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Ablaze: I did a bad thing.

Trickee: Did you kill someone?

Ablaze: No!

Trickee: Did you hurt someone?

Ablaze: No!

Trickee: Did you do something stupid?

Ablaze: …. Yes.

Hype: It’s ok, we still love you.

Boom: Speak for yourself. I’d like to know the specifics before I weigh in.

Branch: Do tell, Ablaze.

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Trickee: Okay, listen up, I have a foolproof plan.

Branch: Famous last words.

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Branch during a bad day.

Branch: I’m not saying I hate you all, but if I had a button that would eliminate every single one of you, I wouldn’t think twice about pressing it.

Hype: That’s….surprisingly honest.

Ablaze: Okay, but where would you even get a button like that?

Boom: I could probably build one! All I need is some glitter, duct tape and enough dynamite.

Trickee: No dynamite, Boom! And Branch, if you’re so unhappy, why don’t you just leave?

Branch: Because you’d all probably burn down the forest in my absence.

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Ablaze: What does “take out” mean?

Hype: Food.

Boom: Dating.

Branch: Murder.

Trickee: It can be all three if you’re brave enough.

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Ablaze: Boom is late again.

Hype: How did this happen? I called him at 8 o’clock this morning and pretended it was 11.

Branch: I printed up a fake schedule for him saying we were starting at 9 instead of noon.

Trickee: I set his clock to say PM when it’s really AM.

Ablaze: Oh boy. We may have over done it.

*Boom bursts through the door*

Boom: WHAT TIME IS IT?

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*Ablaze knocking on Rhonda’s door*

John Dory: Who is it?

Ablaze: Ablaze.

John Dory: *high pitch voice* John is not here.

Ablaze: Oh come on dude, I ain’t going to hurt ya.

John Dory: You promise?

Ablaze: Just open the door John.

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Branch: Trickee had a little run-in with the law in college.

Hype: He was arrested for assaulting a police officer.

Trickee: Accidentally, I fell on him.

Boom: While evading arrest for underage drinking.

Trickee: That was on purpose.

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*Trickee being locked up*

Trickee: Guys let me out.

Ablaze: No.

Trickee: Why not!

Hype: Cause every time you take more than three steps, you are accused of murder.

Boom: we are getting an aneurysm.

Trickee: Oh come on. It’s only been like four times.

Branch: The fact you think that is normal is scary.

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Boom: And what do we do if we have a day off from performing?

Branch: Lay in bed all day and move just enough so people don’t think you’re dead.

Boom: No. We do something adventurous like maybe going outside and what’s the best part about going outside?

Branch: Coming back inside.

Boom: No.

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Officer: You get your freaking hands up!

Kismet: *holding their hands up*

Trickee: YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!

Hype: Shut up! We are going to go to prison.

Trickee: No, we’re not. Say the right stuff and they just send you to a mental hospital for 10 months.

Branch: I just this second realized why you do macrame instead of knitting.

Trickee: Yeah, no sharp objects on the ward. They were super strict about that.

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Trickee: Let’s just recap.

Trickee: You steal my motorcycle, I don’t have you arrested. I invited you into my home, I teach you about the joys of being in a band, I’m forced to wait a hour for bagels I didn’t even want, and then I come home to find you chewing on my sister’s face.

Hype: We were kissing.

Trickee: GUILTY!!

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Branch: There’s a thin line between being a genius and being an idiot… Trickee uses that line like a f*cking jump rope.

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Ablaze: I’m the sexist b*tch in this therapy waiting room.

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Branch: Plants are basically the ideal friends. They are quiet, friendly, and easy to please. All they need is a little water and fresh earth, and they are perfectly happy to lie there all day in the sun. And they don’t make increasingly awful life choices, or hide their relationship.

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Hype: To everyone who has treated me poorly, I am sexier than you.

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Officer: You’re under arrest for attempting to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

Ablaze: D*mn.

Trickee: Wait did you say three?

Officer: Yes, three.

Hype: Oh my hair. Boom fell off!