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@incorrectlupiniiiquotes
Lupin, after learning about Zantetsuken: So it’s true? There really are demons out there?
Goemon: You thought there weren’t?
Lupin: Well...
Jigen: I dunno, man. I thought it might've been one of those made-up things that adults tell kids. Like vitamins.
Lupin: Uh, Jigen, vitamins are a real thing.
Jigen: Well, now I’m thinking maybe they could be.
Zenigata: You know, sometimes I think you don't take me seriously.
Lupin: Really? There are times you think I do?
"Every store sells weapons if you're creative enough."
Jigen
Goemon: The heart wants what it wants.
Goemon: And what it wants is blood.
Maybe instead of asking someone why they’re 'so dressed up', ask yourself why you didn’t wear a better outfit.
Fujiko
Goemon: I don’t understand, Lupin. Why would you not allow us to meet your friend?
Lupin: Because you can be slightly... judgemental.
Goemon: Hmph. What a ridiculous thing to say. Name one time I’ve been judgemental.
Lupin: ... Ok. [Donning a Goemon impression and a serious look] "What a ridiculous thing to say."
Goemon: Ah, I see. Mere seconds ago.
Zenigata: Well done, Yata! You’re handling this whole thing rather well.
Yata: I’m -- I’m really not, sir.
Zenigata: Then you’re freaking out in the most useful way possible. Keep it up.
Jigen: Cancelling plans is ok.
Jigen: Staying home to cook is ok.
Jigen: Disappearing for a bit to get your life together is ok.
Jigen: Resurfacing in a foreign country with a new name 5 years later is ok.
Jigen: It's called self care!
What kind of world would it be if everyone who committed a silly little crime went to prison? Complete madness!
Lupin
Lupin: Listen, Fujiko, about your present? I was gonna get you a diamond wristwatch with a gold band and two rubies on the side —
Fujiko: Oh, Lupin, you shouldn’t have!
Lupin: Oh, it’s alright, I didn’t.
Zenigata: Alright, there’s various ways to resolve conflict --
Jigen: Gun.
Goemon: A sword.
Lupin: Theivery.
Fujiko: Blackmail.
Zenigata:
Zenigata: Why do I even bother?
Lupin, storming into the common room: Where is my coffee cup with the mold in it?!
Goemon: I threw it away. It was a health hazard and should not be anywhere near a living area.
Lupin: Wha -- why?! I was breeding that mold!
Be the hot sexy single that you want to see in the area.
Fujiko
Jigen: So, Lupin, you have a plan to get us out of this place alive?
Lupin: Sort of. The idea starts with "run for it" and generally goes downhill from there.
Lupin: I promised Zenigata that if he helped us, we wouldn’t do anything illegal!
Fujiko: Why would you lie to him like that?!
Goemon: The world is a cruel place, my friend. Everywhere I go, all I see is death, and destruction...
Jigen, looking at the trail of slashed property damage left behind: Probably ‘cuz you're the one causing it.
Whatever I did, I have proof I didn’t do it.
Lupin III