Overheard in Vinyl City

An incorrect quotes blog dedicated to the action-adventure game No Straight Roads! Whether you're a loyal rocker or endeared to EDM, this shitpost chain is the place for all your non-canon NSR memery needs! Submissions are encouraged if you have a quote that suits the Vinyl City gang and wanna join the fun!

[incorrectnostraightroads]

DJSS: Peasant…

Sayu: Yes, I am pleasant!

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DJSS: Okay, but all I've done today is sleep.

DJSS: I woke up at noon, ate lasagna, and went back to sleep right after.

Sayu: Method actor Garfield cosplayer.

DJSS: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP-

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Zuke: A virgin vodka, please.

Aunty:

Aunty: You want potato juice??

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Tatiana: DJ Subatomic, I know you think you’re helping, but you’re not.

DJSS: I don’t think I’m helping.

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Neon J.: It’s been like this all day. Tila got new software for Sayu and won’t stop boasting about it.

Zuke: Why Sayu? I’m the one who needs new equipment. Look at me!

Remi: I’d rather not…

DJSS: You’re not a pleasant sight and wouldn’t understand the needs of a very important team.

[incorrectnostraightroads]

Zuke: [sees contact labelled “Love of my Life” in Mayday’s phone]

Zuke: Aww.

Zuke: ...Wait, this isn’t my number.

Zuke: [calls it]

Aunty: You’ve reached Aunty’s Kitchen! Hi again, Mayday! Would you like the usual?

Zuke: Ohhhhh. That’s fair.

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Tatiana: Are you busy Friday?

DJSS: That depends entirely on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

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Zuke: Now, as appealing as the idea of committing arson can be, fires attract too much attention and unnecessarily put first responders in danger.

Zuke: So if you wanna destroy someone's house or building, go for the method that can easily be blamed on natural causes: flooding.

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Mayday: My life has become a never-ending game of “illegal or just frowned upon?”

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Tatiana: Tell us a little about yourself.

Eve: I’d rather not. I really like this group.

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Zuke, hopped up on caffeine: I-think-I-can-hear-my-hair-growing-especially-the-bangs-hey-maybe-that’s-why-they-call-them-bangs. [whispering] Keep-it-down.

DK West, slightly concerned: How many espressos have you had...?

Zuke: Just-one-I’m-being-really-interesting-right-now-I-can-tell-usually-my-personality-is-a-little-flat-did-you-ever-pick-up-on-that?

DK West: That you have a personality? No.

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Mayday, gluing a quarter to the sidewalk: Heheheheheeee....!

[two days later...]

Mayday: Ooh a quarter!

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Zuke: If you like to fight dirty, Kliff, then maybe I’ll show you how we fight dirty on the rock music scene!

Kliff: You don’t know how to fight dirty like a rockstar.

DK West: I fight dirty like a-

Kliff: STOP IT, WEST! I’m gonna stop you RIGHT there, you Shrek expy!

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Mayday: What else are you lying about?!

Kliff: Oh, don’t go making me out to be some kind of liar just cause I don’t tell the truth.

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Eve, during a 7am meeting: [pours a Monster into her coffee]

Eve, making direct eye-contact with Neon: I’m going to die.

Eve: [chugs the whole thing]

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Zuke, texting Mayday: I just walked into this party and someone yelled “dibs” lol

Rin, texting Mayday: MAYDAY HELP I SCREWED UP SOME HOT GUY WALKED INTO THE PARTY AND I YELLED DIBS

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Mayday: I’m sorry for what happened earlier.

Tatiana: How the hell did you get in here?

Mayday: I’m not here to discuss your lack of room security, I’m here to apologize.