Please Watch P2A

[criticalrolo]

losing my mind at this amazing story from r/dndmemes some people’s dnd adventures are just. So Fucking Cool

here’s the link and the story, it’s Amazing

[incorrectp2a]

Rahzara: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Bisman: 'Prettiest Smile'

Mai: 'Nicest Personality'

Hawke: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Rowan: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

[incorrectp2a]

Trefor: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!

Trefor, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

[incorrectp2a]

Trefor: bad things keep happening to me. it's like i have bad luck or something

Rahzara: Tref, you don't have bad luck. the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass

[incorrectp2a]

Bisman, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.

Rowan: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...

Mai, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven?

Bisman, spraying Rowan: You FUCKING DUMBASS!

Rowan: Dude, I forgot-

Bisman: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?

Rahzara: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

[incorrectp2a]

Rahzara: Hey, can you do me a favor?

Perrin: Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this.

Rahzara: You don’t even have a legitimate reason?

Perrin: Oh, no, I do.

Rahzara: Well, what is it?

Perrin: You see, I simply don’t give a fuck.

[incorrectp2a]

Rahzara: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house.

Trefor: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

[incorrectp2a]

Perrin: If I die, you can have what little I own.

Rahzara: Wait. What do you mean "if" you die?

Perrin: My unending existence is fueled by pure spite, that of which the painful experiences of life have rendered me full.

Rahzara: *Sighs* Let me call your therapist again.

[incorrectp2a]

Perrin: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue?

Trefor: Technically a mix of green and blue?

Perrin: So blurple.

Trefor: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple.

Perrin: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE?

Trefor: You were confusing before but now I'm scared.

[incorrectp2a]

Perrin: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

Trefor: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

Hawke: A realist sees a freight train.

Rahzara: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

[incorrectp2a]

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Perrin: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Mai: ...I did. I broke it.

Perrin: No. No you didn't. Hawke?

Hawke: Don't look at me. Look at Bisman.

Bisman: What?! I didn't break it.

Hawke: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Bisman: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Hawke: Suspicious.

Bisman: No, it's not!

Trefor: If it matters, probably not, but Rahzara was the last one to use it.

Rahzara: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Trefor: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Rahzara: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Trefor!

Mai: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Perrin.

Perrin: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Trefor: Perrin... Rowan's been awfully quiet.

Rowan: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Perrin, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Perrin: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Perrin:

Perrin: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[incorrectp2a]

Perrin: Did you hear that!? Hawke just threatened to destroy my lego AT-AT!

Rowan: ...You just threatened to kill him in his sleep.

[incorrectp2a]

Rahzara: Hi, I'm Trefor's emergency contact.

Counter Woman: You're here to pick him up?

Rahzara: I'm here to remove myself as his emergency contact.

[incorrectp2a]

Rahzara: I’m going to hell.

Trefor: Probably.

Rahzara: I'll pick you up?

Trefor: *nodding* Carpool.

[incorrectp2a]

Rahzara: What's gone wrong, Trefor?

Trefor: Hey! That's one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I'm calling doesn't mean there's a crisis.

Rahzara: That's technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling?

Trefor: Well... there's a crisis.