My excuse for this one is it was ‘too ironic to pass up’ -
RMH

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@incorrectplutoshearts
My excuse for this one is it was ‘too ironic to pass up’ -
Reggie: [Whispers to Luke] Hey, tell her “you have beautiful eyes”.
Luke: That’s good! Great idea.
Luke: [To Julie] I have beautiful eyes.
Reggie: Luke no.
Luke: Luke yes.
Alex: Luke no.
Luke: Luke maybe.
Julie: Luke no.
Luke: Luke no.
Luke: Alex and Reggie asked me if I liked Julie.
Luke: and I said no, you know, like a liar.
Reggie: [trying to climb onto the roof to do a backflip on to a trampoline]
Alex: [trying to stop him]
Luke: [cheering him on]
Flynn: [making a bet with Willie on whether or not Reggie will hurt himself]
Julie, to herself: I need new friends.
Julie: Reggie, care to explain why there are 6 dogs in the house?
Reggie: They’re Golden Retrievers, Julie. They retrieve gold. I did this for the band.
Luke: Do I know romance or what?
Julie: What.
Luke: I said, do I know romance or —
Julie: I heard you.
Luke: Alex, I'll give it to you straight.
Alex: Gross.
Alex: Imagine if we came home one night and the boys were like, quietly reading.
Julie: I would be suspicious.
Julie: Where’s Luke?
Willie: Doing stuff.
Julie: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Alex?
Willie: Trying to stop Luke from doing the stuff.
Julie: Reggie?
Willie: Trying to stop Alex from stopping Luke from doing the stuff.
Julie: I see. And what are you doing here, Willie?
Willie: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Reggie from stopping Alex from stopping Luke from doing the stuff.
Luke: Julie is choking! I need to call 911, but the 9 button is not working!
Reggie: Just turn the 6 button upside down! That makes it a 9!
Luke: Genius!
Julie: *stops choking momentarily* What the fuck?
Luke: I know that if anything happened to me and Julie, you and Alex are responsible enough to raise our kids.
Reggie: Wait. That’s what a godfather does?
Luke: ...
Reggie: I mean, I knew that. I can handle it. But just real quick, what’s a good book on parenting that you could recommend?
Alex: So, Willie is the person I’ve been seeing recently.
Willie: … Why are you two looking at me like I’m a zoo animal?
Luke: Well, Alex sort of acts like the mom amongst us, so emotionally, this is kind of like being told that you’re our new dad.
Willie: But you know it’s nothing like that, right?
Reggie: Absolutely. Do you cook macaroni?
Julie: The boys are competent.
Reggie, rushing in: Julie! Luke and I tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and we broke everything!
[Julie and the boys are in a diner, eating breakfast and Reggie gestures towards his egg]
Reggie: How great would it be if I cracked this open and a chicken flew out?
Luke: That would be unbelievable. We would be talking about it forever.
Reggie: Plus I’d sue this place for millions, buy a house in the woods, maybe a boat.
Alex: Ah man, why didn’t I order an egg?
Reggie: And I’d have to grow some corn.
Luke: Why?
Reggie: To feed the million dollar chicken, that’s my boy.
Julie: So, this is an actual conversation?
Reggie: Hey, you’re the one who always asks us what we’re thinking about.
Julie: Not anymore.
Ray: I need all of you to be straight with me.
Julie: [looking between herself, the boys, Flynn, and Willie] That’s going to be extremely hard for sveryone here.
Julie: The only thing that seems to motivate you guys is pizza!
Alex: Pizza?
Luke: Oh yeah, pizza!
Reggie: I want pizza!
Julie: THERE’S NO PIZZA!