100% true quotes

incorrect quotes blog for muses and ships belonging to pluto muses and ships located at the blog nocategcries

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My excuse for this one is it was ‘too ironic to pass up’ -

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Reggie: [Whispers to Luke] Hey, tell her “you have beautiful eyes”.

Luke: That’s good! Great idea.

Luke: [To Julie] I have beautiful eyes.

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Reggie: Luke no.

Luke: Luke yes.

Alex: Luke no.

Luke: Luke maybe.

Julie: Luke no.

Luke: Luke no.

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Luke: Alex and Reggie asked me if I liked Julie.

Luke: and I said no, you know, like a liar.

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Reggie: [trying to climb onto the roof to do a backflip on to a trampoline]

Alex: [trying to stop him]

Luke: [cheering him on]

Flynn: [making a bet with Willie on whether or not Reggie will hurt himself]

Julie, to herself: I need new friends.

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Julie: Reggie, care to explain why there are 6 dogs in the house?

Reggie: They’re Golden Retrievers, Julie. They retrieve gold. I did this for the band.

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Luke: Do I know romance or what?

Julie: What.

Luke: I said, do I know romance or —

Julie: I heard you.

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Luke: Alex, I'll give it to you straight.

Alex: Gross.

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Alex: Imagine if we came home one night and the boys were like, quietly reading.

Julie: I would be suspicious.

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Julie: Where’s Luke?

Willie: Doing stuff.

Julie: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Alex?

Willie: Trying to stop Luke from doing the stuff.

Julie: Reggie?

Willie: Trying to stop Alex from stopping Luke from doing the stuff.

Julie: I see. And what are you doing here, Willie?

Willie: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Reggie from stopping Alex from stopping Luke from doing the stuff.

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Luke: Julie is choking! I need to call 911, but the 9 button is not working!

Reggie: Just turn the 6 button upside down! That makes it a 9!

Luke: Genius!

Julie: *stops choking momentarily* What the fuck?

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Luke: I know that if anything happened to me and Julie, you and Alex are responsible enough to raise our kids.

Reggie: Wait. That’s what a godfather does?

Luke: ...

Reggie: I mean, I knew that. I can handle it. But just real quick, what’s a good book on parenting that you could recommend?

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Alex: So, Willie is the person I’ve been seeing recently.

Willie: … Why are you two looking at me like I’m a zoo animal?

Luke: Well, Alex sort of acts like the mom amongst us, so emotionally, this is kind of like being told that you’re our new dad.

Willie: But you know it’s nothing like that, right?

Reggie: Absolutely. Do you cook macaroni?

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Julie: The boys are competent.

Reggie, rushing in: Julie! Luke and I tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and we broke everything!

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[Julie and the boys are in a diner, eating breakfast and Reggie gestures towards his egg]

Reggie: How great would it be if I cracked this open and a chicken flew out?

Luke: That would be unbelievable. We would be talking about it forever.

Reggie: Plus I’d sue this place for millions, buy a house in the woods, maybe a boat.

Alex: Ah man, why didn’t I order an egg?

Reggie: And I’d have to grow some corn.

Luke: Why?

Reggie: To feed the million dollar chicken, that’s my boy.

Julie: So, this is an actual conversation?

Reggie: Hey, you’re the one who always asks us what we’re thinking about.

Julie: Not anymore.

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Ray: I need all of you to be straight with me.

Julie: [looking between herself, the boys, Flynn, and Willie] That’s going to be extremely hard for sveryone here.

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Julie: The only thing that seems to motivate you guys is pizza!

Alex: Pizza?

Luke: Oh yeah, pizza!

Reggie: I want pizza!

Julie: THERE’S NO PIZZA!