Rocco: *inside a restroom* Zoe: My friend's in there! Elmo: ...Congratulations. *much later; Rocco is still in there* Zoe: It's his first time on his own! Elmo: Once again, congratulations.
Mike Driver
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@incorrectsesamestreetquotes
Rocco: *inside a restroom* Zoe: My friend's in there! Elmo: ...Congratulations. *much later; Rocco is still in there* Zoe: It's his first time on his own! Elmo: Once again, congratulations.
The sheer amount of quiet I need in order to be able to function as a person is ridiculous.
Bert
Bob: So, what exactly is Ernie to you? Bert: The reason I wake up every morning. Bob: Aw, that's nice. *earlier that day* Ernie, while Bert is sleeping: RISE AND SHINE BERT-
Elmo: Zoe, Zoe's friend is a rock. Zoe: Yeah, thanks, I know. He's got nerves of steel.
Kermit: See? I'm being an investigative reporter. Kermit: My job is to INVESTIGATE.
I'm prone to mood swings. Sometimes I'm grumpy. Sometimes I'm grouchy. Sometimes I'm crabby.
Oscar
It’s not blood that runs through my veins, but glitter gel pen ink!
Abby
Cookies not just food- they love made tangible.
Cookie Monster
Mr. Johnson: Alright, that's it, I'm reporting your name to the manager! Grover: The manager already knows my name.
Ernie: I'm bored, any suggestions? Bert: Sleeping is nice! Ernie: I acknowledge your suggestion, and I'm deciding to ignore it.
Bert: *trying to get five minutes of sleep* Ernie: *standing over Bert while poking him* Ernie: Bert. Bert. Bert. Bert. Ber- Bert: What? Ernie: ...We're all out of Capri Suns.
They call me the forgetter because-
Forgetful Jones
Bert: Ernie! Our space heater died! Ernie, lip trembling: ...The sun?!
Ernie: Bert just texted me back "lmao" from the other room. Ernie: I hear no laughing. Ernie: I’m friends with a laugh liar.
Bert: Numbers don't lie. Number 4: I'm the number five!
First thing in the morning, people give me shit. That’s how I know my day’s begun.
Benny
Ernie: What if the G in gif is silent? Bert: Go to bed. Ernie: What gif I don't want to? Bert: Oh my god.