These are real so you better Believe it

What do you mean you don't believe that these quotes are real?! They are! Believe it!

[incorrectkonoha]

Ino: *picks up phone from unknown number* Hello?

Murderer: I see you

Ino:

Ino:

Ino: Do I look good?

[incorrectkonoha]

Therapist: Now, Kakashi, what do we say when our depression hits?

Kakashi:

Kakashi: My depression is chronic, but this ass is iconic.

Therapist: No.

[wifeofkakashihatake]

Naruto: Can you pass the salt? Sasuke: Can you pass away? Kakashi: Too much salt.

[incorrectkakagaiquotes]

Gai: I need advice.

Kakashi: The fact that you came to me with your problems shows you need A LOT more than that.

[incorrectshippudenquotes]

Sakura: I’m gonna be 5”1 till the day I die

Ino: keep urself high

Sakura: on weed?

Sakura: or heels?

Ino: enthusiasm but weed might help

[narutwitter]

[incorrectshippudenquotes]

Naruto: so... what pleases you in bed?

Sasuke, rolling over to face away from Naruto: sleep.

[incorrectshippudenquotes]

Shisui: Boobs or butt?

Itachi: um? The whole girl

[incorrectshippudenquotes]

“My pronouns are That Bastard and my gender is [REDACTED]”

— Kakashi Hatake, probably

[incorrectshippudenquotes]

Sakura: He died of natural causes.

Kakashi: You pushed him off a roof.

Sakura: Gravity is natural.

[incorrectshippudenquotes]

Sakura: *holds up paper* what’s this?

Naruto: That’s my to-do list. Sakura: nice! I’m so proud of...

Sakura: ... Naruto. This just says “Sasuke”.

Naruto: yes.

[incorrectshippudenquotes]

Obito: I know I’m a real asset.

Kakashi: You’re only off by two letters.

[incorrectshippudenquotes]

Naruto: Having a child by any means makes you a father.

Naruto: But bending the hose your child is using and suggesting it’s broken and telling them to look inside before unbending the tube to release a jet with the force of old faithful on their face makes you a dad

[incorrectshippudenquotes]

“I don't look older, I just look worse.”

— Kakashi Hatake, probably

[incorrectshippudenquotes]

Naruto, about Orochimaru: He did not look like his job description. He looked like he should be the conductor on a locomotive powered by confetti, but instead, he made his living in murder.

Sasuke, about Orochimaru: He was the weirdest goddamn person I ever saw in my entire life. He was a man most acquainted with misery. He could look at a child and guess the price of their coffin.

[incorrectshippudenquotes]

“i’m saving my brain for special occasions. if i use it every day it’ll get dirty.”

— Naruto, probably

[blockoframen]

Kakashi: How do people just stay motivated their entire lives? What drives you? I got out of bed once and I've been exhausted ever since.

Sasuke: You need to learn to hate life to the point where you want to get revenge on existence itself.