Incorrect Skulduggery Pleasant Quotes

[detective-inspector-person]

“That’s the thing about the world—it loves falling apart. It’s a hobby. We’re just the unfortunate ones who keep trying to put it back together.”

-Skulduggery probably

[incorrectspquotes]

Omen: Don't think you're going to be making anyone do anything they don't want to do. I won't have it. Darquesse: Interesting. I actually believed that threat, as inconsequential as it is. Please remember there is little you could do to me that would stop what must happen. I am the universe. You're a speck of dust. I like you, Omen. Please don't make me regret that.

[rock-crusher]

Remus Crux: I've connected the two dots

China: You didn't connect shit

Remus: I've connected them

[incorrectspquotes]

Erskine: So, what brings a nice English girl like you to Ireland? Tanith: Well, I had to escape the chilly, wet, depressing London weather. Erskine: So, Ireland, naturally.

[incorrect-niche-quotes]

She’s got chocolate brown eyes and the ass of an angel.

-Militsa about Valkyrie

[incorrectspquotes]

Tanith: [to an injured Valkyrie] You're walking on that? Kenspckle: She shouldn't be which of couse means that she's getting into street fights instead. I really don't know why I bother. Valkyrie: Is this going to take much longer? Kenspeckle: No. I won't bother dispensing any advice, since I don't imagine anyone would listen. I'll just clean and bind the wound and pretend that my expertise is valued.

[winter-wise]

Tanith: If Paris is the city of love, then what's the city of hate? Valkyrie: The first time I went to Roarhaven, I had been walking around for less than 20 minutes when an 8-year-old told me to go fuck myself

[incorrectspquotes]

Omen: You want me to, uh, you want me to go yell at Mum? Auger: Yes. Actually, yeah, that would be great. Omen: Oh, no, no, no, no, I was just kidding I never yell. Even when I’m mad, I just push it down really deep. And then sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, panicked and sweaty for no reason.

[incorrectspquotes]

“I am presently incarcerated, imprisoned for a crime I did not even commit. ‘Attempted murder,’ now honestly, did they ever give anyone a Nobel prize for. 'Attempted chemistry?’”

— Vaurien Scapegrace, probably.

[incorrectspquotes]

Never: Jenan passed us earlier. Flipped us off. So that was a good way to start the morning. Omen: Yeah. But we totally flipped him off back. Never: I flipped him off back. You just waved and laughed nervously.

[the-ghost-of-a-spirit-deactivat]

Valkyrie: I want to feast on the unborn.

Skulduggery:

Valkyrie;

Skulduggery, looking to Valkyrie: Eggs?

Valkyrie: Eggs.

[incorrectspquotes]

Erskine: I don’t want Skulduggery to murder anyone. The Supreme Council will probably find some way to use it against us. Ghastly: I’m glad you think murder is bad because of how someone can use it against you.

[incorrect-niche-quotes]

Did you know you can just start screaming, basically anywhere? It's not illegal or anything

-Omen

[incorrectspquotes]

Ghaslty: You do seven things a day that I ask you not to do. Skulduggery: Actually, I do more. You catch seven.

[incorrect-niche-quotes]

Valkyrie: What are you doing?

Never: You texted me and said Omen got hurt, so I brought a watermelon.

Valkyrie: Why?

Never: Omen loves watermelons.

Omen: [crying and hugging the watermelon]

[incorrectspquotes]

Saracen: Well, it's a good thing I still have my sexy cat costume from Halloween.

Ghastly: I really don't think you were the target audience for that item.

Saracen: Ghastly, please, there is nothing gendered about a sexy cat.

[incorrectspquotes]

I never have second thoughts. That’s the luxury of having great first thoughts.

Fletcher Renn, probably.