Jack: Can you summon an army of lizards?
Chase: No, man!
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@incorrectxiaolinquotes
Jack: Can you summon an army of lizards?
Chase: No, man!
Raimundo: I'm sick of Master Fung treating me like a kid.
Dojo: But you are a kid.
Raimundo: Yeah. A kid who can stop a bus with his bare hands.
Chase Young: Bring on the fire, bring on the hell, set everything ablaze so that no trace remains...
Chase Young: Bring on the fire, bring on the hell...
Jack Spicer: I FEEL LIKE WE'RE SUMMONING THE DEVIL!
The Most Popular Heylin in School
Chase Young: Who the fuck are you?
Jack Spicer: Who the fuck are /you/?
Chase Young: I asked you first.
Jack Spicer: I asked you second.
Y'know how they say that teenagers have no fear of death? That they're never gonna get hurt? Well not me, okay? I was born with the gift of fear!
Jack Spicer
Those nerds are a threat to our way of life.
Wuya, about the monks
Dojo: Place that idiot scientist under arrest!
Jack: I prefer to be called "Evil Genius".
The hero strikes the first blow... but evil returns with a backhand!
Chase Young
Kimiko: And Jack. You can probably figure him out.
Jack: Yeah, I'm the guy who spray painted the water tower.
Ping Pong: Oh, you mean The Big Muffin!
Jack: Uh, it's a giant explosion.
all: ....
Clay: It kinda does look like a muffin.
she STOLE my SHEN GONG WU!!!
I DID NAUGHT! CHASE YOUNG SEND HIM TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE AND HAVE HIM EXPELLED!
YOU’re in MY CLASS NOT the other way around! I know EVERYTHING and YOU… know NOTHING! At the end of class, BOTH of you report to the principal’s office…………………………….. WITH YOUR PARENTS
@incorrectxiaolinquotes
Dojo: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you lost throughout your life.
Omi: It would be nice to get my sense of purpose back.
Clay: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.
Raimundo: I knew I lost my potential somewhere.
Kimiko: Emotional stability, my old friend.
Dojo: Kids, could you lighten up a little?
Raimundo: Oh, good! I was hoping to add theft, endangerment, and INSANITY to my list of things I did today!
Jack: Ha ha! You too?
Kimiko: You never wanna do girly stuff with me! You and Clay get to do guy stuff all the time.
Raimundo: What do you mean?
Clay: Hey partner! Ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?
Raimundo: *excitedly* Am I!
Ashley: Do I really force you to do things you don't want to?
Jack: Yeah, but it's okay.
Ashley: How is it okay?
Jack: I promised myself if I ever got friends I'd do whatever they said. Really, I'm lucky you found me before a cult did.
Kimiko: You never wanna do girly stuff with me! You and Clay get to do guy stuff all the time.
Raimundo: What do you mean?
Clay: Hey partner! Ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?
Raimundo: *excitedly* Am I!
Vlad: Jack, I think this is a bad idea...
Jack: Yes, a very wickedly bad idea for the greater good of bad!
Vlad: But I'm saying it's the kind of bad that... Okay, you might think is good from your bad perception, but from a good perception... It's just plain bad.
Jack: Oh, you don't know what's good for bad!
Our battles quickly got more elaborate. They would win some, I would ALMOST win others! They took the name: Xiaolin Monks, defender of the Sheng Gong Wu. I decided to pick something a little more humble: Jack Spicer, incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy!
Jack Spicer