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🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
EXPECTATIONS
Mike Driver
tannertan36
Origami Around
shark vs the universe
bliss lane
Cosmic Funnies
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Today's Document
One Nice Bug Per Day
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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KIROKAZE
d e v o n
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Interview Vampire Daily
macklin celebrini has autism
seen from United States
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@industrialpoetry
and now i found / another place and sweet arms / to squeeze me and fall asleep into / an ear to bleat dumbly and weakly to / a witch to doll to / a stomach to fill / lips to redden / body to worship / oh i am afraid but i cannot go away
value
i have value / you also have value / and my value does not take from yours
you left without a word / and now i retire / from this sad show of sincerity / i say not a word / but your looks i felt them
what remains to be said / i was shattered and i kept shattering whatever was / recovering / because you would not love me / unshattered / and if i stopped doing it / then what love was there left
i quit cold turkey / i cried like a baby / but i quit this bad habit / as my belly pangs with hunger sometimes my soul does too
but then / i have value / and people who like me / people who want to see me / people who do not take me for granted
people who see more in me than / my location / short-notice availability / body-readiness / a quick fix of self-esteem and desirability / have you become that / have i become that / time to be someone else o love
if i find myself worthy / without your gaze / maybe you will find yourself worthy without mine too / and maybe this cycle will come to an end
winter is / renouncing the hope that this happens / embracing the hope of spring / no matter / who is there / when the first flowers bud / when waters thaw / wherever we may be
have your winter goddess bless you / as she touched me strangely while friends cared for me / i realized me and my dearest / we were nurturing the pain of your absence
rent should not be a thing / but you lived fucking rent free in our brains
i am reclaiming space
moving on without a winter / just the silence setting / on your side and on mine / i had lost my worth nothing tasted right i was fat ugly dead / not unlike jim / but well im not dating a new girl / just chatting you know
i hope you meet someone you love / and she treats you right and you treat her right and you love her / i love you and you love me back but / the wall in your heart makes it impossible / and bricks are laid in mine / i feel this anxiety you felt baby / i will always love you but this gotta sleep
do not call me about that / you know i would not resist you / but i want a chance at happiness / you cannot give it to me now / the wall is laid / how i love you baby / bye
she will stop your knife and your teeth / and it will be back to limbo for her doll / or you will free me and maybe spring has a chance / but she needs you too o lady of the withered
someone told me she loves me more than anyone / and that it is mutual / love does not save me from her dance of rejection and retention / i cannot fully submit to you o withered one / as her words bind me / but please lady winter please kali maa the one standing in the end / eat and liberate / be it me or her / remove the chains that bind and let something less despairing happen
i cannot be fully the shiva you dance on / as i made her you somehow / and it all became an image of your lila / so please mother kali / in the form of dhumavati i need your hand / to save us all / the prison is pain for no good reason
you do not want to lose me / and i do not want to lose you / i fight the very idea / it is winter i embraced it hoping for spring and i got / neither winter not spring / a wet pussy and dried tears
you do not want to lose me / but you do not want me / and i am in the middle / it makes me suffer / unbearably / and as i tell it / you tell me i should not / suffer / that it is cruel to you somehow / that i suffer for the two of us / you tell me you would be sad to lose me but i should move on / you summon upon me another winter / but she is not coming unless i let her in
i belong to you but / you would rather not possess me / if you let go of me you will suffer and be sad / i cannot deal with that / i want to be yours fully again / not at the price of my happiness / but because it was taken from me / in such a cruel way / i pay for my faults and the ones of others
i do not want to lose you / i am fighting so much / i am so brave / i face what you reproach / make amends / show change and / it is worth nothing to you / still it means something to me / i am a better person even if you reject me
you do not want to lose me / and yet you do not want me / because feelings and sex are tied together / but your feelings never left you although you lied about that / and my feelings never left me even when i tried to keep the facade to my friends
you do not want to lose me / and yet you will not touch me / because sex and a relationship are the same to you / it seems we are in a relationship based on these two assertions / one in which you keep me but will not touch me / and i do not want to go
i do not want to lose you / and i would touch you / and leave you be / but you cannot do that / you are sure you cannot do that / because as soon as you touch me / the desire rushes in and then / maybe / the fear / that everything will be like before / same causes same consequences / and so you reject me
you should not think of me in that context that triggered me / it hurts my soul that you do that / am i not your special girl
you do not want to lose me / but i am losing myself / because i do not want to lose you
winter please eat me / or save me / somehow / because she loves me / and i love her / but she so much thinks she is fucked up i can never be saved
winter freeze these feelings dry / let me lose them and feel i die / let me lose everything and feel the beast tearing my stomach / and become spring
my house goes away / the things are in a box / the box goes in a truck / the truck goes far from me / i will be on a couch / my music with me / until there is a home again.
this encounter seems very intimate and magical, like a moment in a dream
This is the best thing I’ve ever seen. The end of it omfg
It should also be noted that in the original post of this that I saw on FB, it’s remarked upon that the cat is stealing this stuffed tiger from the neighbor’s house. This is not his stuffed animal. He has stolen it multiple times apparently.
in other news / let me introduce / floral shoppe friday / where we listen to / floral shoppe / on fridays and share / floral shoppe to the ones / who have not heard it / yet
the well is dry / somewhat dry anyway / joy fills me as your walls open / a door was there / one i could not see / one that did not exist in my soul / and still somehow does not / a glitch in memory a glitch in reality / who was that talking then
the well of pain has dried a little / there are other pains / office life is strange / i am so afraid but go there / i did not forsake Industrial poetry / as i work in the industry i try to remember it all / but as pain is healed and as / pain is weeded out / it leaves a hole / what to put there
today i became a teacher / in five days or so i will see students / in eighteen days i will be an engineer / at a company / in twenty days or so we will be evicted / in thirty days our home will be rubble / in ninety days a giant hole / and then a five story building / a terrace rooftop for rich people
today my life got consolidated / in twenty days my stability will be rubble / in ninety days it will have grown / a tree / again / in a hundred days i will still love you
today i told you how i care / you asked / and how i love you / you asked / and i saw in you / a world where it exists / at a point / in the future / and no judge can evict that / and no bulldozer can ruin that
this too shall pass / they say of all things / but love is not a thing / it is not a bird to be shot down / it is not a house to empty and raze / it is not a social condition to endanger / it is the fire inside us / the fire that heats / the fire that burns / a fire that lives in itself / lives of its own accord / above all rules above willpower and tyranny / and i am but the hearth
this hospital is a labyrinth / a castle with many queens / kings ruling over departments / maybe a block / maybe a floor / maybe their office / this is a place of power
i visit here and somehow / i am not one of them but / i am not not one of them / as i know their tricks and / their words and / i get what they say
if i had not been crippled by attention disorder / medical practice would have been great / medical science / i love cracking a problem / figuring it out / helping if i can / but it would have been someone else i believe / not really me / but not really not me / another version
fun fantasy / where i have changed / taken another path / got meds earlier / got a social situation
but heh i would still / have been a train after all / so there is no way / it would have been so easy
i feel less excitement / writing happy things / than when i am bleeding darkness from all my pores / all my holes / all my various orifices / clean and unclean / decent and otherwise
somehow still / i am not really happy / rather i have a feeling / of normality / strange normality / this feels off / as if it was gonna lose it / lose you maybe / lose the joy / or lose the impulse to do things
and yet / it is here / just as i do something else / than suffering / i look elsewhere and then wonder / i say / where is it and i / look around inside me and / find it
i can exist / without bleeding / i may feel / without dying / i will love / without pain / and see your beauty / even as i can touch it
my mind is fucked up but i can learn / i changed often and for the best / slowly crawl to a better me
though in the end / when i am your slut / when i call for you / moaning / you could not tell i am the better me
you always call me / a good girl
when enid failed to show up / at the art showing / and fucked up seymours life / i held my head in my hands / and when she got drunk and then he was too / and they slept together i was like oh shit girl dont do that
and they did and i was happy for a second but / she really could not take it / oh that was fucked up / how love gets in the way / and beliefs get in the way
i was a bit sad but / then you know / this is just a film / i laughed hard / lots of emotions / movies / a cure for emotionless times / a school for crying
I have the kind of brain disease where my reaction to shrooms is “I have an idea for a Garfield comic”
canada lynx voted the animal of all time. Boy why are you so paws
put those thigns away
last night i brought him / to the final resting place / of his soul / he was tuned just right for metempsychosis/ but he said no more honey / and i said my goodbyes as i / shifted the amplitude of his echoes outside of the spectrum of souls
i lived this dream / wish you were there too o dearest / as a psychopomp it was strange / to grant that wish of absence / that wish of non existence / sated peaceful smiling void / a door to let identity go and / lose form
as the modulation lost track / of him of this waveform that was only his / as i let it go thin vanishing and then absent / i felt fear and / i felt envy / desire for that peaceful departure
there is time / that was but a dream self working / farewell friend / you will remain in our memories until the last one fades away
