To Identify or not to identify myself as a raging feminist
I've been taking this women studies course for a little bit now, and I'm wondering if I myself am a feminist. I love women. I do. They're the most beautiful creatures in existence. However, while feminists demand equality (which I totally do) they in turn demand segregation (ehhh), and it, quite frankly, baffles me.
Feminists want all of the same opportunities as men to eliminate hierarchy over women they may have, and make everyone the same.
However, at the same time, during the encouragement to make us all the same, some (all the feminists I know), ignore the fact that men are still expected to act differently, and be responsible of things that are "manly duties". Men are to hold certain roles in relationships and in the real world that women don't have to meet, that a lot of women would rather not meet. They (we?) are held to the standards that they (we?) want to be held at. Is this fair?
In a straight relationship it's "normal" (according to the media, most books, manners, tradition) for men to:
Hold car doors for women.
Pick up tabs at dinner (particularly first dates).
Should this be something women do now? It might just be me (probably is), but if I saw a woman, get out of a driver seat of a car and walk around to open the passenger door for a man, I'd probably laugh, feel confused, and shocked (unless the man was crippled or something). I'd be appalled by this. I think there's a reason I haven't seen this yet before in my life. It's because (a good handful of) women believe, and have always been taught, that they shouldn't wait hand and foot on anyone but themselves. Is this wrong? If they (we?) want all the same privileges as men should they (we) then take on the same challenges, responsibilities, and boldness as men do in a relationship? If not is this a double standard?
I guess what I'm trying to say is, what's a "man's job" anymore if they (we?) want to all be the same?
Some other things I've found appalling about (what I call raging) feminists, is their ideas of men in general. They don't want women to be capped into one thing, one category. There are some feminists that demand individuality yet they often group men into the same category.
"All men are rapists and that's all they are."
Marilyn French, Author; (later, advisor to Al Gore's Presidential Campaign.)
Um. What? I didn't know Marilyn French knew all the men on Earth.
"All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman."
Catherine MacKinnon
I love sex. I love men. Does that mean I'm not a feminist?
I'd like to know if the Catherine MacKinnon character is still a virgin.
I don't agree with what either of these ladies have to say. What does this make me?
I'm all about rape culture awareness, equality in the workplace, pro-activeness and acknowledging the potential of women. It's just. I don't think I could ever see myself as a woman that stands outside shaking her fist in front of the white house with a homemade sign elaborating on how abusive men are and how entitled I am to things I want. And to be honest, I don't think this makes me not a feminist.
I don't know what would made me "not a feminist". To what extent do I have to agree or disagree with what all the other feminists are saying?
"When a crowd adopts a point of view en masse, all critical thinking stops."
—William Powers
Just something to think about ^
It's almost like, feminists can easily be (mis)interpreted as pushy, bossy, bitchy people that it's hard to identify yourself as one if you aren't up to par with the fist-shaking-men-suck-give-me-what-I-want attitude(so many?) feminists obtain.
It's easier to blame someone else than it is to blame yourself.
Maybe it's just because I don't like/have never had things handed to me. If I got a job solely because they needed more women in their line of work and there were men more qualified than me for the job, I wouldn't take it, I'd find it insulting. I want to earn my place in this world by doing a little more than throwing a fit to everyone else and throwing around the discrimination card.
Basically I don't know what characteristics compile a "feminist".
I think some people identify themselves as feminists, when they probably couldn't even define the word "feminism".
A guy said to me the other day "Yeah, I'm a feminist. I just love women. I think they should have what we have and stuff. Plus Ryan Gosling is a feminist and he gets bitches so I mean if I'm a feminist I will too. Bitches love feminist dudes."
You get what I'm trying to say.
To sum it up, I'm a week into this class and there's only two things I know for sure. I love women. And I love men too.
I'm sure I'll have more to say about this throughout the semester.
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