Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:
“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”
“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”
Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”
“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”
“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”
On earth most animals aim to be symmetrical and so have an even amount of limbs. Reading that Rocky had five left me puzzled, obviously he's an alien, but was there precedent in nature for such a phenomenon? What was the point of five rather than 4 or 6? ...Then, I looked at my own hands and felt silly. Still, that connection made me happy.
Seeing people make real amazing art for / about The Backrooms instead of just level 212220 entity-that-eats-your-liver-on-friday-but-only-if-he-has-a-red-balloon wiki slop is actually healing my soul
tired of izzy hands angst,,, , , i want steddyhands where STEDE feels like the odd one out. Stede who listens to decades of history between his lovers and with every new tale feels more and more terrible. when he reads stories to the crew at night he doesn’t imagine himself and ed as the protagonists like he used to. instead, he sees Ed and Izzy and himself as the mean witch who dared try and separate them.
he starts spiraling. every time he wakes up first in the morning and izzy has gravitated away from his naturally cold feet towards ed’s warmth, it feels like a message. every time something catches ed’s eye and he yells for Izzy to excitedly show him even though stede was standing right there, it feels like a cut thread. every time he fails at something pirate-y and they both have to pick up his slack, it feels like a death sentence.
his ridiculous waste of water bath times become longer. it’s one of the few places ed and izzy will leave him complete privacy unless he requests their presence, making it the perfect spot to hide when the fear begins to choke him and he can’t help but cry. it’s an ugly sight, that, but ever since mary told him she could hear him he’s learned how to keep almost completely quiet. best to keep it hidden less their opinions of him sour even more.
his first instinct is to run away. to relieve them of his presence so he can’t ruin things any further, because it was his presence that ruined things between them in the first place. but he swore on his life and honor that he would never leave like that again. so instead, he throws himself into being as agreeable and unobtrusive as possible.
he makes sure he’s the first out of bed every day without fail to give them alone time in the morning, and returns from sitting on his ass, doing nothing, useless little rich boy checking on the crew with tea and breakfast for them to enjoy. he’ll happily join activities if invited, and he often is invited!! but he no longer shoves himself into things where he wasn’t wanted in the first place. he still gets one on one time with them, of course, but he makes sure to double check he isn’t taking up their time that could be better spent with each other.
he didn’t mean to get between them, you see, and he’ll be damned if he continues on a moment further now that he’s realized what happened.
It's Ed that brings up the idea of a wedding and Izzy seems quietly pleased about the idea, even if he only shows it through a small but genuine smile and Stede-
Well.
He knows that it isn't fair of him to be jealous, after all Izzy and Ed have been together for so long, since they were practically boys, and they've been through so much because of Stede and how he pulled them apart that really, it's only fair that the two get married.
But his heart aches every time he sees Ed's eyes light up when he talks about the food they'll have after, nothing too extravagant for Izzy's poor stomach, but maybe even a small cake! And Izzy's private smiles and steady plans and how thrilled he is.
Stede waits for his invitation to maybe help with... well anything really. To share his own ideas on tablecloths and flower arrangements and stupid frivolous waste from a lily-livered rich boy -
But it doesn't come, of course not, and he doesn't want to assume anything or heavens forbid, trespass on what should be a very intimate moment between the two, and really he's lucky that they're even allowing him in the bed for their wedding night I mean they haven't said otherwise and Stede doesn't want to bring it up but oh god, maybe he should bring it up because surely the two will want time alone and especially for the honeymoon so maybe Stede should just start moving some of his things to Izzy's old cabin, just for a week or so-
Ed asks Stede what size of ring he wears and Stede assumes it's so Ed can guess Izzy's ring size in comparison.
Izzy asks Stede about hair styling and Stede assumes it's so Izzy can tie those darling little bows into Ed's still growing beard.
Neither notice Stede's increasingly red eyes (and very dry skin, there's only so many baths one can take in a day), neither notice the small stack of books and clothes accumulating in Izzy's old bunk.
Neither notice the shirts that Stede has stolen from each of them, to hold close to himself when the time comes that Ed and Izzy settle into their married life, and realise that there just isn't room for Stede Bonnet.
Until then, he'll take what he can, and he'll be so, so happy for them. He promises.
It's the day. It's their day. The ship has been scrubbed from top to bottom, there's flowers and decorations and Roach has cooked up a veritable feast and everything is in place and Stede.
He's in the cabin. He should be out there, with his men. He should be spending every single moment he has left with them. He would be doing his duty as a captain and hosting the ceremony but they hadn't asked and that's fine and really that's preferable but truly. He would have done it if they'd asked.
He should be out there, showing them he can be useful. He promises he can still be useful.
But. There's something so weak in him, that keeps him rooted to the tiny bed in the tiny cabin, surrounded by things he's squirrelled away for when if they decide -
There's a commotion on deck, an upset, raised voices, and that shouldn't be right, about now there should be joy as the two are married, the ceremony should have started a while ago now...
The door to the cabin SLAMS open, nearly bouncing closed again with the force of it, if not for the two figures in the doorway and oh- oh they look dashing. Edward dressed to the nines with those darling ribbons in his beard and Israel looking so sharp in his best leather and oh. They're furious.
"Was leaving me at the docks not enough, that you leave me at the altar too?" Ed rages
"I'm sorry I know I should have been there for you -"
"Was it my presence that made you second guess? Did I not factor into your plan?" Izzy jumps in
"Israel, no, please I love you both but-"
"But you just didn't want to try-"
"You're always pulling shit like this-"
"Didn't even attempt to put any thought into this wedding-"
"Like we didn't even matter - Stede why are you crying?"
But he can't control it now, heaving sobs that wrack his whole body while he cowers in shame, knowing that this moment would come. Knowing that he wouldn't be enough. Trying desperately to find that strength to just be happy that his - that the men he loves have one another.
Edward and Izzy share a look, before silently taking each side of Stede on the bed, and it's a tight squeeze but they don't utter a single complaint.
"Stede, mate, talk to us." Edward whispers, and his hand is tight around Stede's, Izzy's grip just as tight on his other hand.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for your wedding. I'm sorry you didn't want my help and I'm sorry for taking up your time when you should be celebrating." And he squeezes their hands, bringing them close together so that they join between Stede, and he forces a wobbly, tear-soaked smile. "A wedding! It should be joyous. It is joyous! I'm so - I will be happy, I promise!"
"Stede, if you didn't want to marry us, you should have said something, we would have understood."
And that brings a halt to Stede's apologetic ramblings, staring at Izzy's defeated, crestfallen face as he continues to hold Stede's hand.
And it devolves from there.
Now Stede is talking about Story Times from ages ago, talking about wicked witches and Kings and Queens and shared histories. About waking up alone on the outskirts of the bed, and THEN it's failing at raids and being overlooked in conversation, bathtimes, invitations, being as unobtrusive as possible.
The wedding.
As in, Israel and Edward's wedding, to one another. After so many more years of being together. And of course their wedding night, their honeymoon, Stede wouldn't obtrude good heavens, no, especially when no mention of him ever being invited to their bed had been made post-wedding.
The ideas he'd kept to himself come pouring out too, in a shameful waterfall of napkins and flowers and colours and vows that he'd painfully allowed himself to dream of. Painting a picture in his head of the day if only...
He comes crashing back down from that dream to the reality of the men he loves, the heartbreak clear on their faces, their eyes wide and shocked.
Edward crowds him into a hug, and Israel slips from the bed, curling his arms around Stede's waist and staring woefully up at him from the floor.
"It was for us, Stede, the wedding." Edward warbles "I wanted to marry both of you, all of us, together."
"But even before that. Stede, why didn't you say something?"
"I just... didn't want to lose you any quicker than I knew I would."
And from there, the most difficult, but rewarding conversation is finally, finally started.
***
Lucius knocks on the door, anxiously hopping from foot to foot having drawn the short straw in checking on the grooms.
A very red-eyed Izzy answers the door with his usual gruff demeanour in place, though it's softened somewhat by the presence of the two men behind him.
"Crew are wondering if... you know... there's a wedding going to happen?"
Israel hesitates, looking back at Stede and Edward before a strange look passes over his face. The three share a glance and then focus their gazes back on Lucius.
A sweat breaks out under his collar.
"Say, Spriggs, weren't you, Black Pete and Fang talking about a wedding just a few days ago when I asked you to scrub the deck?"
"Oh yes Lucius," Stede pipes up. "I still have that darling white suit of yours, really it would only take a moment for Fang and Black Pete to get ready."
"Yeah mate, just picture Pete's face when you tell him the legendary Blackbeard is officiating!"
***
It's a beautiful wedding, though Black Pete still hasn't lost the shocked look in his eye from when the whole plan was sprung on him, Fang's face is still flushed with that quiet pleased look, and Lucius has revelled in having the whole crew watch as he flaunted his husbands the whole night.
In fact, he didn't even complain about an engagement at a wedding being tactless.
Stede smiles down at the ring on his finger, the promise ringing in his ears of a long engagement, while the three of them promise to learn from one another, to not hide from each other, and to truly build their relationship before building a dream wedding together.
It's not perfect yet, but lord, the promise of it is enough.
kaledo-art
romaincrisis
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jacobvanloon
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