Nothing with a Twist

I'll burn that bridge when I get to it.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tell me something nice

[kyraneko]

if you grow mushrooms over a toxic waste site, chemical spill, or other polluted growing medium, they will suck up the toxins into their fruiting bodies with such effectiveness that they are being studied for their ability to clean up tainted industrial sites. it’s called mycoremediation.

if you do this with edible mushrooms, they are no longer technically edible, but on the other hand they make a great way to poison your enemies. this is called murder and it’s usually frowned upon, but they won’t see it coming and you get bragging rights afterwards about your ability to kill people with a pizza topping.

[kyraneko]

Sorry this was not precisely most people’s idea of “nice.” Let me add that you are a glow of comforting absurdity in an ever-more-fucked-up world.

[mirage358]

I love everything about mycoremediation, but also

[chikier]

whenever somebody responds with “I beg your pardon?” assert your dominance by announcing “Then Beg.”

[squids-among-stars]

[everythingfox]

“At my local vet, their house cat kneeds the guests while their cats are with the doctor.”

(Source)

[kaijuno]

Employee of the month

[illkim]

“You smoke?”

“Only recreationally”

[killowave]

[twitblr]

[gennyescsecsemo]

[actionables]

when the premiere of your movie is on the same night as your pajama party so you have to compromise

[bettys-orchard]

He isn’t even wearing shoes omg

[compulsive]

[localstarboy]

[wolfgangreborn]

Screaming

[guy]

BYE

[mahaldaddy-blog]

[sararye]

AND THAT IS HOW YOU USE AN EFFECTS PEDAL

I was gaping the entire song this is insane

[andrewducote]

If I had a dollar for every time a musician made me feel like I’ve done nothing with my life, I’d be filthy, FILTHY rich.

[greater-than-the-sword]

After YEARS of wondering I found out this is called “Beethoven’s 5 Secrets” by the Piano Guys.

[prodigiousreblogger]

Bryson Andres!

[indica-illusions]

*rips bong for good luck*

[memewhore]

[h0odrich]

[yourlocaluselesslesbian]

Can I uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hold your hand

[plants4]