I've decided to quit social media until my exams end. I'm stuck in a degree that makes me miserable and that I don't understand and it's been sapping away my happiness and creativity for a long time. It takes me six hours to do an hour long task because I just don't understand what I'm meant to be doing. When I finally finish tasks I'm struck down with self loathing at how long they took me. Additionally, I've been in a stupid amount of pain this week and I've found myself popping painkillers just to keep trying to learn information I can see no benefit in learning. I'm mad at my body, my brain and my situation. Last night I broke down crying and realized enough is enough. I can't look around at people pursuing their dreams and spending their time productively when I'm stuck where I am. Quitting this degree isn't an option when I'm so close to the finish line, so I just need to step back from seeing what everyone else is doing. x
