I miss the days when life was simple, when I used wish time would hurry up so I could be “Grown.” Now that I am, time seems to move way too fast. It made me realize how much I should have appreciated those moments. Why is it so common to not cherish what is before us, until it no longer is? These days I miss my nephews, it’s wild that we grew up together but now we don’t even speak. They’re in their 20′s now, that alone is crazy enough. The saddest part about us not speaking is that we don’t even have any issues, our family is just super divided. I really miss my parents too, my father passed in 2000 but I was too young to fully grasp death, and I still had my mother. Then when she passed in 2018 my life just wasn’t the same. It sunk in that both my parents were gone, and I began grieving both of them at that point. While I try to find comfort in knowing they are at peace and their spirits still live on... it’s hard not being able to call them, hear their voices, and feel their touch. I miss my mother’s smile, her kind blue eyes, her laugh, her sensitivity, her intellect and intelligence. My mother was the kind of lady that could finish crossword puzzles in 10 minutes. I would buy her crossword books (a couple at a time), she’d call me in a week and tell me she finished them. I’d laugh and say I would bring more for her on the next visit. I know so many random facts because of her always feeding me information. She was a teacher before her health declined, she mainly taught Pre-K. She loved working with kids, she had the aura for it for sure. I miss the days when she’d come home from work and always have something in her purse for me, it was usually a treat of some sort. I miss her calling my name to run to the corner store, or to grab her something from the kitchen. I miss watching her favorite shows with her in the living room, “Wheel of Fortune, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Everybody Loves Raymond and Kings of Queens.” Every Friday we’d order pizza from our favorite spot, I miss those simple traditions we had. I miss our house decor changing for every holiday, she loved putting up holiday decorations. I miss my dad getting me from the bus stop in elementary school. I miss him bringing me a “Yahoo Chocolate Drink” whenever he’d go to the store for his beer. I miss his scent, the sound of his voice, his cooking even the stranger things he made lol. I miss sitting on the porch with him and feeding the squirrels and birds. These days, I think a lot about who I might be, if he had lived longer. I miss the days when I had to come inside when the street lights came on. I miss being carefree, climbing trees, going to the park, walking to dairy queen in the summer. I miss .25 cent chips, .50 pop and juice. I miss penny candies and when candy bars only costed .99. I miss playing in the neighborhood with my nephews or friends. I miss the low-rider bike I got one year with the banana seat and the U shaped handlebars. I still remember spending weekends with my siblings. Sometimes I was at my brothers apartment, other times I would be at one of my sisters places. I miss my siblings, we don’t even talk these days, too much pride, resentment and unresolved issues that date back years. It’s sad to think that back then, all I wanted to be was older. But looking back, I wish I would’ve focused more on the good and less on all that was wrong. Life is just too short, and that is something I didn’t understand as a young child. Forever isn’t real, so just live for today and cherish life no matter what. Remember, moments are worth so much, cause unless you capture it on film you can’t ever go back and live them again. - K.A.M
