Threatening legal action is a common tactic abusers use, especially when the person they abused comes forward about the abuse. This is a silencing tactic. I'm not surprised, I guess, but it is disappointing, and frankly fucked up;
I don't have a cent to my name at the moment, and rely on social services to stay alive because I am disabled and can't hold a job because of my disabilities. Fighting with bureaucracy in order to get disability payments and the other accommodations I need is currently my full-time job. Innes is aware of this, because not much has changed since we were together in terms of my finances and overall situation. He would be suing a disabled & impoverished queer trans man.
I am trying to be real about my experiences and what happened to me-- that's a major reason that I've been posting screenshots. They remind me that what happened to me was real, even if it was just online. It's grounding, not to "air dirty laundry", but to have backing proof for what I have been saying. I am not lying.
I was gaslit for so long into believing that it was mutually toxic, no good guys or bad guys but when I looked back at what had been said, there's just... No way that is the case. I literally don't have anything to gain from this except seeing someone be held accountable & experiencing some sense of closure! I am not the one posting my fundraiser link every time I am confronted.
I thought for a long, long time before posting the screenshots regarding Innes' own trauma. I did not want to initially, but I also do not feel it is my responsibility to protect him anymore, and it gives further context and evidence of the zoophilia. I agree, what he went through is fucked up and traumatizing. There's really no other way to put it. But that isn't an excuse to engage in zoophilia, to make zoophilic comments about real life animals, and to talk about committing zoophilia in real life.
The context in which he brought it up was because he had sent me a Gore Magala monsterfucking fic. The discussion was pretty unprompted to be honest, and I was uncomfortable at the time he sent those messages but didn't really know what to say, except that I wanted to be a supporting partner. Again, this was the first time zoophilia was brought up. Not about my own paraphilias or kinks, but about Innes'.
I have not been bringing up the zoophilia in order to hide my necrophilia. I'm not ashamed about having necrophilic fantasies, because I know that they will remain only fantasies-- particularly because the brunt of my fantasies involve me being the corpse.
Despite being kinky and weird, I don't want to hurt anyone in real life just to get off! I think mentioned prior, but there are different classes of necrophilia, some of which are solely fantasies. I'd like to be the more... passionate cathy to someone's heathcliff, you know? & If something does not cause you to harm yourself or others, or does not cause you distress to experience, it's not a disorder or a problem. If it does cause you harm, or cause you to harm other things, then something is wrong and you need to get help.
To reiterate: I don't care what fiction or fantasies someone has. That's not real. I don't care about words on a screen or lines on a page. I care about real harm done.
I do not trust Innes enough to speak with them privately. When I initially came out about the abuse, I told my therapist about the situation, and how Innes had said things would be better "if I had just spoken with him privately". My therapist disagreed: The only thing that would happen if I spoke to Innes privately is that I would be gaslit and yelled at for having the guts to talk about this publicly at all.
Their initial response to this was for them to DARVO me (shoutout to the random person who messaged me about that, I hadn't heard of the term before) and then at every turn they've tried to bring up things about me in order to hide their own flaws and misdeeds.
Our relationship was not mutually toxic. I will admit I probably was not prepared to be in a relationship again; We had started dating when I was still living in a house with my abuser who terrified me so badly I would barricade my door when I slept, and then had few chances to recover from this as I moved back across the country to escape, and immediately began the battle with bureaucracy to secure public housing for both of us. I was constantly trying to find ways to hustle and save money to move him out, while he spent his money on fibercrafts and video games.
He would do things that I found off, but when I'd bring them up, there was always some sort of excuse. The longer we were together the more I felt like I had to form myself into a mold to be what he wanted me to be. I'd be the cat, the bottom, the submissive, as long as it pleased him. The abuse and manipulation was very, very quiet, very subtle. I didn't notice it until years after the fact. There are things he said about or to me that still haunt me, years after. "I would have to be bisexual in order to be with you (intimately)" being one of them.
Also as an aside, just because abuse happened some years ago doesn't mean that the person who was abused should "just get over it" like him, his friends, & his audience seem to want me to do. I do not think for a second that Innes has actually grown or changed as a person but even if they had, that does not negate the harm done to me in the past, nor does it mean I shouldn't talk about it to avoid hurting someone's reputation. How someone responds matters, too.
As I have said many times, I do not think that Innes is an irreparable monster. I think that Innes terminally lacks the ability to take criticism, the ability to introspect, the ability to tell the goddamn truth, and the ability to acknowledge that the people around him are real living human beings and not building blocks for them to get what they want out of them.
These are all things that can be worked on! They're not permanent, unchangeable character flaws! But if Innes continues to have a platform that supports and endorses them being their worst, I don't think that any of that's going to change, and they're still going to be the toxic person I met 4 years ago, but older.
I have found it concerning enough to talk about publicly, because in those years and through my doubts his audience has grown, and though I've had him blocked and his username blacklisted, somehow I would still see posts by him. I saw the entirety of the train derailment saga go down. I saw how he responded, and it was much, much too like what I'd go through whenever I would catch him in a lie.
He positions himself in a seat of authority on here over a variety of subjects that I do not think he has much of a real claim in whatsoever. It is all too convenient, and knowing the details that I do about their personal life I can't help but call all of these alleged credentials into doubt.
Their ego is fed by engagement. I've known this since the start, but in the beginning I really did want to believe that maybe they were a better person and would just be honest. Even bad engagement is still engagement, like how they always respond to hate. They genuinely crave the attention. They were like this when we were together, too.
Their relationship to their online notoriety is inherently an unhealthy one, and I realize now that I've been feeding into it. I have been feeding into my own continued gaslighting. Whenever I struggle, or say what happened to me, there is always a convenient, twisted excuse as to why it was okay to do to me, or how it didn't really happen "like that", or something.
I have realized that there is no "winning" against someone like this, there is no way for me to convince anyone to believe me. I can give all the evidence in the world for what happened to me, but at the end of the day some people will remain unconvinced, even with the most damning screenshots. I have said my piece, I have spoken extensively about my side of things, and I know what is true. The best thing anyone who reads this and believes me can do is report inneskeeper, report their fundraiser, & then block them without engaging. Any engagement towards him is exactly what he wants. I refuse to feed further into Innes' ego.
prev. pin about the author & situation here
zoophilia & linking a 17-year-old his nudes
misappropriation of donated money
blaming mental health for poor behavior to avoid accountability
how innes affected my own housing stability
archive of this blog (inneskeeper-receipts)
coercive suicide/ideation
romaincrisis
izzy806
dailybridgerton
germansingergirl
jacobvanloon
tangentwithtanner
kaledo-art
gummygunk
