Walking in on Them Touching Themselves pt. 1
Includes: Erwin, Eren, Levi, Jean, & Zeke
Warnings: Like, spoilers for season 3
A/N: I'M BACK WITH CRACK AT THE REQUEST OF MY WIFE, @ginsspitting, I based this off of their season 4 personalities despite me never seeing season 4, so she also helped me with Zeke's
• He'll leisurely put his dick away and ask you how your day was, all with a smile
• He'll completely gloss over it like it never happened
• However, you're having an existential crisis
• Did you...imagine it? Perhaps it was all a mirage
• Maybe you're hallucinating. No, no it was a trick of the lights. You definitely didn't just see your commanding officer jerking off in his office
• Honestly, I could also see him asking you to join him, again, all with a smile
• He can never know a second of peace
• He's not even shocked. He just releases a long sigh
• You, on the other hand, are outta that bitch
• You're gone like the wind, baby. He can't punish you if he can't catch you. (He definitely catches you anyway.)
• He's a fucking degenerate
• Most likely to keep going like you aren't even there
• He's a mix of emotions. He's both utterly unbothered and filled to the brim with angst
• That being said, you are appalled. If you had pearls you would be clutching them
• He won't even say anything. He'll just stare at you with cold, dead eyes all without breaking his rhythm
• He might even go faster
• Idk If it runs in the family or what, but similar to Eren, he's pretty unbothered by the whole thing
• But instead of continuing, like his feral little brother, he'll just push his glasses up while he holds his dick completely still in his other hand
• “Woah Woah Woah, try knocking next time. What if I have a heart attack with my dick in my hands? That’d be humiliating. Hey, while you're here, do you wanna do your best friend in the whole wide world a favor and kneel in front of me? It would really help with the clean-up...This is the part where you say yes. 😐"
• You're caught off guard because there is no damn way this man is holding a full conversation with you as if you didn't just catch him jerking off in the living room
• He also asked to cum on your face, but thinking about that might give you an aneurysm
• His monkey brain has no capacity for shame
• LAUGHING. YOUR. ASS. OFF
• Never in your life have you laughed so hard
• He'll beg you not tell anyone
• You, of course, tell everyone (i.e. Sasha and Connie) and he will never live this down
• His pride is wounded beyond belief. He'll never recover from this; emotionally, mentally, or spiritually 😔
• This is his villain origin story
