Love. Eat. Run.

[sydneyleannee]

[clairesbennet-deactivated201805]

“You’re always remembering songs you wanna sing except when you’re actually at karaoke”

[tetralea]

Wow

[insanelysmiling]

Accidents happens... it is just you not being able to get over it. Playing it over and over again, never thinking of a different way, or a solution. It already happened. You think about other people. What did the think? What could they see or hear? Did they hear meg yell? I yelled, I remember. I felt pain like never before. What did the guy who sat immediately next to me think? What he could hear or see what made him call the doctors right away? Maybe he is over protective. For strangers? Maybe he is just kind. I want to believe it and not that what is most probably the truth, that I screamed, so loud and fall so big, he had no doubts I was seriously injured.

He sat down and said, ‘I call the ambulance!’

I spit out the snow, pulled my googles up from my mouth and I wanted to say, no, it is not necessary. Than I realized I was screaming and I couldn’t say a word because of pain. I was hoping that my friends realized I was missing. Wind came and covered my face with snow. I pulled my mask and the googles on my face to cover it. The guy asked me questions but all I could do was moaning and yelling. I couldn’t move my entire right arm, not even my fingers. But I wasn’t moaning by panic or fear, there were no panic in me. It was just the pain. I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t afraid, I still don’t understand how or why. Maybe it was the situation. Because I got help immediately, my boyfriend climbed back to me in minutes, or because I knew I was helpless. I knew I had to ski to the next station even if a doctor came to me. We were just in the middle of the slope in a snowstorm, I knew I can’t afford panicking. The doctor couldn’t find me, however I didn’t move. He didn’t speak English, so he didn’t understand what we said to him when he stopped next to us. I realized him later, he come to me later too.

After sitting bloody calmed in the snow, in the storm waiting for some help we knew the only way is down. Standing on my skis again with that insane pain in my entire arm was insane. I had nausea and felt dizzy by pain. The pist was icy and not easy at all. I have no idea how I could focus and make it. When finally we arrived to the station the same guy come to me and asked if the doctor found me. He called them again than he stayed to translate. There were 3 doctors around me, I was laying in the snow they spoke a language I don’t. I still wasn’t scared or panicked. I just wanted to go to a hospital. The pain was unbearable. Yet I didn’t take the pills I got. Not until I was at the hospital. At least in France I know how ski patrols look. Here they looked just normal, without some extreme colored clothing.

I was escorted to the lifts with my boyfriend. The only thing I was worried about was my skis and helmet. I could see everyone looking at us, adults, parents, kids. What did they think? I know what I usually think. But they? Maybe the parents used me as a bad example? I am not. It was an accident. I am not the idiotic one trying her limits and got injured. I was still calm. I could move my fingers but that is it. Nor my hand or my arm. I couldn’t unzip my pocket to give my ID to the doctors, I couldn’t sign the papers, I couldn’t even hold the pen. I still not panicked, I was just still the pain. I did everything to get to the hospital and got it checked.

Another lift came, than a third one. I could walk and talk finally properly to my bf and the doctors also. I felt safe and sad because the weather was beautiful and the snow was soft and fresh. I was sad because I knew we wouldn’t properly ski that day. It was only around 11 AM. I sat on the motor sledge and in minutes I arrived to the hospital. We called the insurance company, and by the time my bf filled the papers and I somehow managed to sign it, I was called.

I finally got my shoulder stabilized, the pain started to erase without pills. I was happy and still not worried or afraid. I put on my skis and skied on the baby slopes in the rest of the day. I was happy.

[insanelysmiling]

Progress

Watching my body making progress never was so amazing than it is after my injury. It was 4 and half weeks ago, but I already can do so many things which is surprising to the doctors, my coaches and to myself too. A left my harness a week ago. I am free for a week now, and yesterday the x-ray confirmed that my bone healed, so I can move my arm freely. A week ago I barely could lift my arm, it’s own weight was too heavy for it. I still couldn’t wash my own hair and my right arm was basically still useless. It had already made a huge progress since the day of the injury, but was far from perfect. Right now I can lift my arm above my head, I can sleep without pain, and today finally I have started my rehab. I did some stretching on Monday too, and that have helped a lot. There were things I couldn’t do on Monday because of pain, and now, on Thursday i can do it without any effort. It is impressive to see my body healing and getting stronger and stronger day by day.

It is still a lot to do, and a lot to work on, it is already 5 weeks from now, but i am beyond happiness already.

[insanelysmiling]

How to survive with a fractured shoulder? Part 2

It’s been a week that I fractured my shoulder during skiing, and I need to wear a harness 7/24. It has been a long week. Long and tiring. I’ve learnt a lot about myself and my relationship with my boyfriend during this week. I was surprised how patient I can be towards to myself.

The pain started to erase and I am able to move almost my entire arm, however I’m forbidden to move my upper-arm and shoulder yet. They are still fixed and hurt if not. But, I can use my hand down from my elbow. I still need a lot of help, but I get a lot of help from friends, family, strangers. It’s new, and uncomfortable, but a lot of people are surprisingly helpful and kind, which you wouldn’t expect generally.

I can eat with my right hand, but still can’t wash my own hair.

I can have sex and it is the best.

The best feeling was when we had debates at school and finally I was equal again with my mates, more over I did and excellent job. I got the best scoring and the best critics. I needed it a lot. I needed to finally succeed in something and to feel equal again and if something, than speaking is something I’m good at.

Today at class we got a new task. We have to make a film about studying and working. I am a Marketing Master student, but I am working next to my studies since 3 years now, so I know what it is about and how hard it is. We have to make everything, every part and piece of the film. Today we started to act out the plot, did the casting (all the 10 of us in the group got some role), and scheduled the next meeting combined with some drinking. It was so much fun, and we had a great time. Our group is amazing! My role will be the naked dead girl... I’m gonna win the Oscars next year. Thank God there will be flash backs when I’ll have some lines and some more acting stuff than being naked and dead. Actually the most difficult part was to figure out why and how I’m gonna be naked, for what purpose, but we sticked to the idea.  I really looking forward to the next brain storming and being on set, even if it is going to be one day. And I could feel full there again which felt great.

I am extremely grateful to my boyfriend for being so supportive and helpful and patient. It is weird to see how our relationship gets more intimate and stronger as he helps me with such tasks like washing and brushing my hair, or getting dressed everyday. Even after 6 years.

[insanelysmiling]

How to survive with a fractured shoulder?

So, my right shoulder got dislocated and fractured yesterday. I’m right handed, so it seems I’m facing with some difficult days in the next few weeks.

I try to stay positive because it could be a lot worse. I fell during skiing, so I was at a beautiful place, I did what I love, and I tried snowmobile for the second time, - for this time at least I’ll remember. Everyone was super helpful and kind and and I was carried to a cute private hospital. The doctors were kind and patient and they did speak English. I have 3 cool x-ray pics of my shoulder. I got a cooling pad, medicines, some gel which was payed by the insurance company, and I also got a super cool stuff to stabilize my shoulder. It is purple which matches the color of my scarf. I could ski even with my fractured shoulder a little bit, which was challenging, but fun.

Here at home my boyfriend is super supportive. He makes my meals, helps me get dressed, have a shower and he even washed my hair. He doesn’t make me feel like I were sick or anything, he doesn’t fells terribly sorry for me and tries to make me laugh at my situation as many times as it is possible. He keeps me stay positive. I am so-so thankful to him for this.

The hard part is outside of our home. First of all, none of my coats or sweaters fits me now. I cant hold my purse, walk, and show my ticket at the same time in the subway. Almost everyone stares at me like some freak, who has no right arm.  My school mates and teacher are supportive but they feel a lot more sorry for me than they should have and it makes me feel miserable.

I can’t hug my boyfriend and it is killing me.

I can’t sleep on my right side and it makes me crazy.

I cant cook. I can’t unplug the toaster.

I can’t get dressed alone, and can’t wear pretty clothes.

I can’t brush my teeth properly.

Don’t even mention sex.

It hurts like hell.

I can’ laugh without pain.

I get tired in no minutes, like some old lady.

I can type only with my left hand.

I can’t eat properly.

I can’t train.

And medicines doesn’t even make me high.

I try to stay positive but it is really hard to deal with emotionally.

Let’s see how the next 3 weeks go!

[insanelysmiling]

You are gorgeous and you deserve to be treated beautiful as well.

[tetralea]

Raise your girls to be brave, to take risks and push their limits!

[insanelysmiling]

Your body is your best ally

Belive me! It bares a lot more than you’d think your are capable of, than you could imagine! Your body is magazing! It remembers, it is strong and helps you through even the toughest situations, if you shut down your mind and listen to it.  

[insanelysmiling]

I must leave. I must go. I can’t stay. I must see what is out there! I must fly. I have to be heard!

[insanelysmiling]

Stressed with @mizsakpeti #Greece #summer #holiday #fun #foodporn #food #yummi #greekfood #feta (helyszín: Porto Limnionas Zakynthos)

[insanelysmiling]

Women are genetically designed to adore cute and hairy things, like puppys... and men.

[insanelysmiling]

My normal lunch 😛🤗🍽 #supertendy #healthy #foodporn #chicken&vegies #mutimiteszel #whole30janem #veggies #smoothie #spondoredbyaldi

[insanelysmiling]

Weekly project: chocolate soufflé ✔️💯💁🏼 with @mizsakpeti #chocolate #chocolatesoufflé #mybabies #yummy #beautiful #foodporn #weeklychef

[insanelysmiling]

Cottage cheese soufflé with berries. Who want some? 🙋🍨#souffle #yummy #mutimiteszel #delicious #spring #berries

[tetralea]

Be proud of who you are

[insanelysmiling]

Baconos, zsályás csirke tekercs, almalében párolva #yummi 🍴💯🙋😍🙊 with @mizsakpeti #mutimiteszel #chicken #bacon #sundaylunch #delicious