shhhh pls use your inside voices while you look

im making claims 🍉🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ 🇵🇸 every thought is original unless stated otherwise

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

I take myself and my every own words too seriously a lot of times.

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

I thought i have achieved ego death but my ego wants to be jesus christ

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

perhaps youre right and it do be cycles that you have to keep going through. keep walking the paths back and forth, developing that neural highway structure, keep euthanizing that ego

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

I thought i have achieved ego death but my ego wants to be jesus christ

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

Object permanence x missing a human

So most of the time i dont miss people much. Im super happy to see them again though. It might come from a deficit in object permanence awareness. Like how I dont really have all the things that I own in my head and only remember when I see them and or need them for something. And the another problem is remembering where i can find them.

When it comes to you: i miss you a lot. Its the opposite. I know exactly where you are and thats the problem. I remember an object when i wanna "use the object", when i need/want it, meaning lotsa moments in my life i just wanna have you be there.

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

If i have to shout to be heard, i dont wanna be heard at all

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

Naturally youre a different person in any kind of relationship, as a bond is interactive; as two people compared to one sole person

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

Like things of yours stayed with me, parts of me will belong to you forever as well

even without you knowing,

even with me forgetting,

even after Ive been changing

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

I gave you my all without you asking and i guess i shouldve stopped and asked. Ask what you would appreciate

Im sorry i wasnt more thoughtful

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

My level of delulu is thinking im beautiful and nobody told me yet just because they think its so obvious already, they didnt even feel the need to mention it or say it loud, you knooooow..!? right, right, right!!?

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

Sometimes I imagine myself 20, 30 years from now, having gone through a lot of life with my partner and lots of other friends by then. What will we experience together. What is out there, what adventures will we be in.

Sometimes im excited to live

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

No matter how things end up to be. I find my solace in thinking that either way happiness will find its way to you.

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

I rather feel anything intensely than be completely numb because i know how it is to have a thick layer of ice between you and everyone else. Its like ive died when my body is still alive ..or at least its still holding on.

I rather love you painfully than not love you at all. Im glad pain makes me soft rather than harden. Caring is so cool

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

It hurts to be something, its worse being nothing with you

- promise, laufey

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

I cannot imagine myself with anyone but you right now. But this will pass as well.

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

And it has passed! 🤝👏✨

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

I cry imagining people reciprocating my feelings. Am I happy about the thought or am I sad for them? Maybe both.

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

It feels like i am melting into salvation

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

You miss out on so much by "being nonchalant"

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

I dare not to want more because what if i cannot stop to want more

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

I am not special

[inside-to-outside-thoughts]

I think its better but i dont feel like its better