Im doing everything right and it never moves or changes. Im considering doing drugs because of how miserable I am and the only thing stopping me is that it could effect my phalloplasty results. I'm sick of people who could and would have their own kids acting like adoption is the exact same thing and im the bigot. I'm tired of people playing the woke card and pretending that being a mother is the same as being a father just because you have a beard. I'm tired of gay ftms acting like they understand because they want cum as a sex toy. I'll never have a family. My dad abused my mom and me and he deserved to have a child more than someone who wants to take care of people. I don't know what I've done to deserve this. I'm told not to worry because kids my age don't stress about this but it's because they know they'll have the option. My only options are to be a mother or to be man
I’ve tried the trans community and they bash me and want me to be some larger argument about manhood and masculinity. I’ve tried infertility communities and they don’t want me because I’m capable of getting pregnant. I have no where to go. I want to die but at the same time I want to live. I just don’t want to live my life.
