ひご @intothevoidwithbillnye - Tumblr Blog

You have to step on something getting out of the shower. The floor is not okay. Rug? No. If it’s been on the floor for more than 4 days it becomes the floor an no longer can be touched. Dirty clothes are safe to step on

#mental health #floor is lava

Doors have buttons

#doors #have #buttons

My house was named Buddy

#no for real #it had a #name tag #buddy #no #idea #why

valtsv

kitsnicket

This show was the funniest fucking thing

stinson-png-deactivated20210103

This was funnier in my head.

words-writ-in-starlight

If this was funnier in your head I have no idea how you’re still alive because I’m fucking dying.

marsapartment

The cartoon network cancelled a cinematic masterpiece, only for it to come back stronger and with more vine-worthy content

saintofpride201

Batman: *lists the people who have left santa prisca without facing Bane*

Bane:

outofcontextdiscord

the-absolute-best-posts

acting cool but checking out the booty like

shinmadoka

A frying jan for your jeggs and your jacon

thatsthat24

This is the meme I have been waiting for… the jeme.

anime--irl

anime_irl

chickenfarmersan

antique-scarecrow

i fucking lost it when she opened the fridge

psychotictea

A big mood

xaviertriumphant

I’m the way she pronounces Kim

webthug-deactivated20191205

flavoracle

That is the face of a rebel who was called into the Human Resources office and had the following conversation...

HR: "We need you to take down or cover up the photo of Nicolas Cage hanging above your desk."

Rebel: "Why?"

HR: "Your coworkers have been complaining that it's distracting and makes them uncomfortable."

Rebel: "What do you expect me to cover it up with?"

HR: "Whatever you want. Doesn't matter. Just cover it up."

Rebel: "FINE."

lokillia

here i thought she wanted to remove it only to find another pic under it

flavoracle

Also a valid interpretation

ristay

Sorry if it’s a little cramped- had to make this all fit in ten photos. Hope you guys like it….. and again…. sorry Andrew

Follow me on Webtoons

littlewitchlingrowan

This is the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen in my entire goddamn life

skinnykooked

“Hello and welcome to my Tumblr. Here you probably won’t find any basic info about me like my name or what I usually like to do, but you absolutely will find all my deepest darkest secrets and emotions along with my body measurements”

fuck-philip-banks

the wise man at the nudist beach, when discovered by an acquaintance, covers not his dick but his face

swaglexander-the-great

i feel like diogenes fucking ghostwrote that last bit

maximum-overboner

when i was a child my dog was sent to live on a farm. her name was lucky, and she was a beagle. she was also filled with hate and malice, and a hunger for my tender child flesh, but that was beside the point. i came home from school after having mastered the art of speedskipping (which i maintain is the fastest mode of travel but it can’t be done without mockery so i refrain) to my mum sitting me down and gently explaining that lucky moved to a farm, where she could run, bound, play and hunt hapless children until her devil’s heart was content. i knew at that moment she had died, but i didn’t want to say anything. my mum had a story in place to try and spare me the grief, and i tenderly played along, wanting to maintain it. i brought this up bemusedly, years later, as a teenager. laughing at the simple story only a fool would believe, covering for my dog’s death.

it was at this point my mum told me that no, lucky actually went to live on a farm. my aunt’s farm, in england. she lived for another twelve years.

there are pictures.