Letters to a Queer Woman...
This is the first part of a larger project that I first started a few years ago; a collection of letters to the queer women in my life. I find that now most of all, as people are entering the eighth month of this new life… Eight months of being trapped at home, eight months of hopelessness. That we all need a pick up.
A foreword to the queer woman, who is reading this letter.
I don’t know you. I don’t know what struggles you’ve had to face in your life. I don’t know if you have dealt with internalized homophobia, or maybe unsupportive parents.
Perhaps you are still forced to suffer from hiding who you are, or perhaps every day you live you risk losing everyone you’ve ever held close.
Whether you are out and loud and proud, or have remained hidden, either by choice or by force, I just want to make one thing absolutely clear…
I don’t know you, but I am so proud of you.
You have been so brave to get to the place you are at right now, whatever place that may be. You have worked so hard, and it does not matter if your journey is finished or if it has only just begun, because you are still miles from where you started, and that is something to be proud of.
It isn’t exactly easy to be a queer woman.
Even in today’s society, with gay icons like Ellen DeGeneres, you look at media and get flooded with reasons why it is hard to be a queer woman.
You turn on the TV and see queer women cheating on each other, queer women becoming the bad guys, queer women getting shot and killed for no reason.
It’s not just on TV either.
In movies, in books, in games, everywhere you could possibly look, queer women are getting punished in media, and it’s discouraging. It’s discouraging and terrifying to constantly see our representation, sometimes our only representation, get reduced to nothing more than a plot twist.
Reduced to nothing more than a tool to push forward another character’s story arch and relationships.
What kind of message does that send to us?
I know what it tells me… that who I am is not something to be proud of, that me and others like me aren’t worth enough. I refuse to let that be the mark, the stain left on our lives. We are worth more, we are worth a lot more, and just by being here today, it proves that we will fight until we can’t fight anymore to show the rest of the world what our lives are worth.
I have lived a lot of lives in the past twenty-five years, and I have faced a lot of things. Some of them were pleasant, made me think that I was on top of the world. Some of them, heart wrenching, and opened my eyes to what I face being a queer woman.
Hurt does not define me. Joy does not define me either. My definition is all of the emotions I’ve ever felt put together, nothing excluded or emphasized.
Perhaps this letter will inspire you. It’s a little piece of me that shows how much life is worth, and how it can be impacted by the people around you. Maybe it will be your anchor in a storm, and show that if I overcame, maybe you can as well.
I want this letter to tell you, to remind you, that I am proud of you, I am proud of what your life is… whatever that life happens to look like.
I am proud that you have gotten this far, and I sincerely hope that you will continue to go further.
Alone our voices are a whisper, but when they are used in solidarity, they become so loud, and the things we can do are astronomical. It all begins with one person surviving against all the odds… I’m hoping that person is you.
Sincerely yours,
Allie.
