Assigned Sadist At Birth @invertedphantasmagoria - Tumblr Blog

~~Pinned Post (04/09/26)~~

Liz, resident cruel and unusual fanfic writer, 26 years old, and full of autism and Too Many Thoughts. My main (this blog) is where I dump general reblogs/reference stuff, and for the last few years, that's been mostly One Piece. I'm down real bad. :D Very rarely does anything outright 18+ end up on this blog, but because of the content of my writing/fandoms, discussion of mature topics frequently happens; consider this a hazard sign (or a promise, if you'd rather!).

#Liz post #Pinned

ask-caesarclown-shurororo

My dear clown, might I ask what you cook other than those lab experiments? What do you eat? What do you enjoy, my dear.. don't leave this jester hanging by a thread..!

#One Piece #Caesar

skelotan

Dedicated to my cat, who is very vocal about my bed time.

PATREON

#Cats

wigglesdtuff

Seeing your Robin Brook stuff reminds me of my favorite interaction from Wano. Something about casually talking about trauma and joking about it is just real as hell

YESSS they're sooooo good in Wano. Shipping aside I love every bit of their teamwork in that arc. I appreciate that the anime had them skull joke back and forth afterwards too.

They are undeniably such a funny duo

#One Piece #Robin #Brook

doctordune

#Litchi Hikari Club

kozionogin

#One Piece #Vergo #Doflamingo

cuttyflaps

curious about how you envision the doflaw dynamic as consensual without law being ooc whats the psychology at work there for him to you i wonder. theres a few ways i can imagine it going but whats your version if you dont mind talking abt it a bit

puts my hands flat on the table and leans in calmly

so. you have to understand. there are two parts of trafalgar law's life. the part where he was preparing to die of white lead disease. and the part where he was preparing to die fighting doflamingo in order to stop him.

he's not the surgeon of death for no reason; he is unhealthily morbid/obsessed with mortality. corazon dying so he could live both saved him and also made his mentality worse, in a way. like doflamingo, he can't understand just living. it's kill or be killed to him.

so you have this guy who has an extremely traumatic childhood and doesn't know how to stop preparing for death and make him obsessed with carrying out the wish of a man who died for him, which is stopping this doflamingo guy from his violent rampage. he's a cold, plan-oriented and obsessive guy, so how much do you think he thinks about doflamingo? someone he believes his inherited will dictates he has to defeat?

^and also to be clear this man is 100% gay. to me.

both law and doflamingo have a part inside them that has snapped. because of their childhood trauma and what was done to their family. they both have a very specific kind of rage and anguish and desire to see the world burn, and they both know that they share this. law fights off this feeling because corazon was trying to absolve this feeling in him. not really because law knows this feeling is wrong, but because of the sacrifice. and additionally, law knows that if he were to snap and decide he wants to see the world burn after all, doflamingo would be able to provide this indulgence to him no questions asked. the heart seat has STILL been kept open to him all this time.

which to me means that even though doflamingo knows law will probably never turn because of corazon's blessing, he's still playing the psychological long game just in case. he knows more than anyone just how seductive the chance to make the world bleed with revenge is. doflamingo knows that the part of law that craves bloodshed is still in there. and law knows that he knows.

doflamingo taught law war tactics and shit. they both know each other VERY well. they both know what's going on. doflamingo knows law is planning on carrying out corazon's wish of stopping him and law knows doflamingo is tempting law with a kind of power only doflamingo can grant. even if they haven't seen each other in 13 years they both have their fingers on the other's pulse.

doflamingo is psychologically infatuated with corazon's actions too. to doflamingo, corazon reminded him way too much of their father, and he takes the desire for peace and harmony as the same as laying down and dying. a loving nature = ignorance and stupidity to him.

and he sees law as this ghost that haunts him, this ghost of an idea that what he's doing is wrong, that's passed from homing to corazon to law, and defeating this ghost is one of the most important steps in doflamingo's lust for power and control. by killing law OR getting law back in the heart seat, doflamingo kills all doubt or weakness in his own heart, and proves homing wrong, and proves corazon wrong, and justifies his murder of them. in his head. and this is a necessary step doflamingo believes he needs to take. he cannot just let law be. he has to kill him, be killed by him, or get him to kill for him.

so at the end of the day. they both think about each other a lot. and law is repressed and gay and lonely and demented.

i think at some point, in his weird lonely little submarine where he surrounds himself with plans to stop doflamingo and probably every newspaper clipping detailing his movements he can get his hands on, and he spends so much time both isolating and being obsessed with doflamingo, eventually he has a particularly lonely and weird day and glances over at all his pictures of this huge ripped freak and a wire gets crossed in his head. yknow.

but he just rolls his eyes and keeps it wayyy deep down and won't even admit it to himself. especially because he equates being seduced by doflamingo with being seduced by the heart seat & the chance to inflict revenge, which is what corazon would not want. and law has built his ENTIRE existence around corazon's sacrifice.

essentially my doflaw truth is that law pulls up to dressrosa and as he's getting his ass continually and brutally kicked by doflamingo he might accidentally notice how sexy and ripped doflamingo is and internally cringe at himself and blame his own loneliness and dismiss these feelings so he can stay locked in. he wouldn't act on any of his feelings for several reasons, not just because it would go against his core beliefs, but also because he fucking hates doflamingo at the end of the day. law can tell himself it's because he killed someone who did him the ultimate favor, or it's because he killed someone who he loved, but either way he wouldn't be able to overlook these things.

when law is on death's door and doflamingo says he might as well do the ultimate eternal youth operation for him anyway, it isnt necessarily a fruitless gamble. law is already insane and his entire life has been shaped by doflamingo and rosinante and he might be insane enough to die tying the end of the string to the beginning of the string.

but in an arc where trust is a gamble, where fujitora trusts that he's losing at routlette until luffy calls white, where the tontattas choose to trust in usopp, where the citizens choose to trust king riku again, law chooses to believe in luffy. and his own vicious mental cycle of inherited will and certain death and righteous sacrifice begins to shatter. as he realizes there is actually more to life than this infinite death triangle between himself, corazon and doflamingo. this is where is starts to actually understand why he shouldn't act on his violent urges, not because it's what corazon would've wanted and his destiny dictates it so, but because violence wouldn't heal him and would just make things worse.

but i still think even after dressrosa he would crave closure. he spent so much of his life thinking about doflamingo and picking apart his motives and movements and mentality that i think the fight at dressrosa would just make him even more morbidly curious about him and how he turned into such a freak. and furthermore morbidly curious about how law himself mightve turned out if things had gone differently. i can definitely see him infiltrating impel down just to pick at his brain. maybe even with some gloating and taunting involved. and some "are you here to kill me? torture me?" "corazon wouldn't have wanted that, so no."

AND ALSO! the only time we see law have the upper hand over doflamingo is in punk hazard when vergo and monet are dead, the SAD room is destroyed and baby 5 & buffalo are held hostage. and law's demeanor is totally different. he's sassy, dismissive and self-assured, just like doflamingo usually is because doflamingo usually has the upper hand over everyone. i think law left alone with doflamingo in a situation where he has the upper hand would reveal a dynamic we haven't seen since then. law can be reaaaaal fucking smug and dominant when he wants to be.

and yknow. well. if i had a morbid and strange and perhaps even psychosexual fascination with someone who knows about my deepest darkest urges and they were chained up in a jail cell and also i had the powers of the op op fruit. hang on a giant evil ankylosaurus just swung its club tail into the rroom

#One Piece #Doflamingo #Law

sashayed

has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing

boomstab-papa

your-cosmic-creature

“For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”

Mingos

#One Piece #Doflamingo

kata4a

Ye knowe eek, that in forme of speche is chaunge With-inne a thousand yeer, and wordes tho That hadden prys, now wonder nyce and straunge Us thinketh hem; and yet they spake hem so, And spedde as wel in love as men now do.

chaucer, Troilus and Criseyde c. 1380

youzicha

glossary: eek also and even tho at the time prys great value wonder a cause for astonishment nyce stupid spedde succeeded

You know the form of language, too, can change. Within a thousand years, even the words that were most precious then, seem strange and foolish to us; yet they spoke them so and did no worse in love than we now do.

#Linguistics

nikyluiii

a little art of Imu-sama ( again ) (⁠〃ﾟ⁠3ﾟ⁠〃⁠)

#One Piece #Imu

headspace-hotel

Hey! I used to follow you and somehow lost track of you! It’s great to see how you’re doing now that I’ve stumbled back upon your blog. I have a question- when I followed you I remember you were really struggling with college. I am currently really, really struggling, and I was wondering if you have any advice, or found things that work for you? Or honestly just that there’s hope? Thanks <3

This past semester was the first semester where I didn't felt like I was dying all the time.

like, something was DRAMATICALLY different. I had the social stamina to hang out with friends and actually started making friends with my coworkers. No mental breakdowns. I wasn't walking around in agonized suffering anymore. At work I started leading events and actually being comfortable doing the public-facing parts of the job.

Something changed, but what?

So the weird thing is. I think it may have been. The Bucky Barnes fanfiction. I started posting it the day before classes started. I had been in the remotest pit of a depressive episode and as soon as I locked onto this writing project, I felt life return to my body.

Maybe having a creative project to pour myself into that was completely outside of the realm of college gave me the strength to continue. I felt a lot before like I was suffocating because my life had narrowed to this tiny sliver. It felt much better to have something important to me that wasn't part of college.

Or maybe putting the guy through The Horrors helped me to find catharsis with/process some of the shit that was passively hurting me in the day to day? Like, I don't know, I'm aware on some level that I bottled up and locked down my own traumas and horrors for a long time and it Affected Me, and I eventually found my way to, like...a craving to work some of that out creatively. I dunno, it's good. It really helps with the self-compassion thing.

I also took a yoga class, which was really good because it wasn't like an "exercise" class and like "pushing" yourself, but more about like...existing in and noticing your body and how all the parts work together, and where you're holding tension and kinda systematically wringing that out. Very good. Had a couple yoga videos though that triggered the absolute fuck out of me because of the "push through pain" kinda mindset. So be careful with that one.

I will say that some of it probably was building over time. Like. As much as the academic pursuits have beat me with hammers and crushed me with bricks, I have grown in a valuable way from the experience, in the sense that I have learned to just. Choose for myself what I want to give a fuck about. Not play along with the institution's incentives and pressures.

Like. It was almost a problem, but it wasn't? Instead of making rational judgments about whether I could afford to slack off, I slacked off because I just did not fucking care.

And the sense of "omg omg omg shit fuck shit there's a deadline I'm going to be late I have to turn this in aaaaauuughhg" feels very hard to let go of, because it seems to be the thing motivating you to meet those deadlines. It's the thing that keeps you safe from failure. And people will encourage you to hold onto it.

My mom would ask me, "Oh, when's your paper due" and I would be like "Yesterday," and she would be like "omg you have to get that done" and I would be like *shrug* and she would be like "you still have time to work on it tonight" and I would be like "I don't want to work on it tonight."

And it was fine. I made a B+ in the class, actually. If I had spent the weekend grinding to finish that paper as fast as possible it would have done nothing but make me exhausted. Nothing is as serious as you're supposed to feel like it is.

I feel serene, or maybe indomitable, because I do not feel the pressure the world applies to me anymore.

Last year, going through the worst and most grueling gauntlet of horrors, I was sitting there realizing that whatever happened, I was going to wake up tomorrow, in this body that keeps me alive and allows me to feel, in this world where everything is interesting. And if I didn't wake up tomorrow, well, it wouldn't be my problem anymore anyway.

Like...I was just an animal. A creature. I had days where I broke down consciousness to its atoms, noticing myself as a creature reacting to stimuli like I was a paramecium floating around in a drop of pond water. Colors! Light! Interest?? Mystery??? Snacks! Hunger! Snacks! Good! The constructions around me were very flimsy and fake, and pleasures and interesting things were real, and I would wander around just...doing what my body seemed to want to do. I thought of myself as a wildlife, fulfilling my biological needs, investigating novel stimuli.

Sometimes with the biological needs thing you really have to like, throw off all social and external expectations about what behaviors are allowable and go full creature mode to figure out what the fuck your body wants. Sometimes this means eating whatever the fuck you want, whether it seems like a meal or not, and eating it until you genuinely don't want to eat it anymore. Sometimes this means sleeping when you feel like sleeping and not waking up until your body says so. Lay on the floor, roll on the ground, pick a direction and walk as far as you can, run really really fast, sit in your room buck ass naked.

One day last month I legitimately fell asleep at like 5pm and when I woke up again it was 4:45am. I got dressed and went outside and went on a long walk, halfway across town, past the gas station and the apartment buildings, all the way to the pollinator garden at the park. It was dark and I was completely alone and I noticed how the stars became more visible even a short ways outside the lights of the town.

Another time I went downtown to the railroad tracks and decided the follow the railroad tracks as far as I could. I was wearing flip-flops so I got stabbed with a stick very nastily, but I walked over a mile and I passed through a tunnel under an old bridge with cool graffiti on it, and a drip of cold water from the ceiling of the tunnel landed on the back of my neck! and I kept going until I started leaving the town, and then backtracked and climbed through some scrubby bushes and trees and came out onto a small road where there were some kids playing basketball and they all stared at me, but I am unaffected by staring. And then eventually I found my way back to campus.

Like, the point of life is to live. Does that make any sense

#Autism #Save tag

sigilli

down bad octavinelle

they're all thinking about you constantly. like, they can't get you out of their head. of course, what they're thinking about is all different. and they're all too pussy to confess.

azul wants you to love him in a way that makes him feel better. he wants you to comfort him, to let him know it's all okay, and it will always be okay. he wants a slow, sappy romance, and will be thinking about you meeting his family before you're even together. he thinks about you pampering him, holding him, just... being with him. and if his thoughts stray to you taking care of him in a far more intimate fashion? well, you can't really blame him. he'd be happy to lay down and take what you give him. he wants it slow, but however you like is fine for him too.

floyd wants you to love him like a chick flick highschool romance. he's imagining you with his last name, thinking about a wedding and all the cute things he wants to do with you. he's like a pitbull, he looks so scary, but all he really wants is some cuddles and someone to be there with him. he finds that he can't be bored with you around. dreams of a sloppy first kiss, breaking off into a closet to makeout in-between classes, your first time being all giggly and fun, everything he's seen in those cheesey romance movies. he wants to fight for control, play with you until you get to the main event. entertain him some more, won't you? he'd get so bored without you next to him.

jade wants you to love him in a way that leaves both of you breathless. he's absolutely a freak, and all day he imagines scenarios, so many scenarios, of you under him, on top of him, laying side by side- he's not picky. he wants to get down and dirty, and he doesn't care if he's in charge or not. everytime you bend over, his head runs wild with the urge to do something to you. at the same time, whenever you get annoyed with him, he prays you'll pull him in by the collar of his shirt and put him in his place. pull his hair, or let him pull yours, while you kiss on a desk. of course, for all his freak, he's still a coward (and a virgin). he can't find it in himself to initiate anything, so feel free to pin him somewhere and confess your love.

... or something along those lines.

#TWST