far out

it's a bad day not a bad life

[fairieicedtea]

enemies to lovers but it's me and myself

[mollyjames]

> trades my imperfect flesh for the immortality of the machine

> rusts

[blergger-deactivated20150321]

[yelyahwilliams]

She continues to rule

[drchelsearar]

in case you need to be reminded to be kind to yourself today.

[vampiregerard]

who wants to come over and just like. come to my backyard with me and then just. scream. for three hours.

[theproblematicblogger]

[wildeastra]

it’s always, “hi, how are you?” and never, “you have bewitched me, body and soul, and i love, i love, i love you. and wish from this day forth never to be parted from you” ... how unfair

[understands]

[ashstfu]

me during the day: ah i'm so sleepy. i'm so fucking tired oh my god i can't wait to go to bed tonight.

me during the night: let's download the top 100 songs from 2010 and listen to them all while writing a novel and watching an entire season of something and maybe rearrange my room or read 2 books and complete my assignment which was due last week haha i'm so productive.

[nayx-deactivated20200109]

*therapist voice* you are stupid and gay

[bardapologist]

im making a network television show in which each week people who are not chefs are invited to a brunch with like, 12 other people. they are given a dish to prepare for the brunch (for example, a quiche) and each week after they attend said brunch they are ranked on various components of their brunch dish like a cooking show, but also their Brunch Performance (contestants are rewarded for committing to a “Brunchsona”) and exactly what they are ranked on is more like vibes and not released to the public but based on this inscrutible criteria, one contestant is uninvited from brunch the next week 

also im the host and im starting a public exaggerated fued with paul hollywood which i anticipate will carry on for at least 8 seasons and start sort of like a vague joke and become increasingly more direct and violent with time 

[bardapologist]

so like, one strategy would be to make everything you’re asked to make to the T and like, okay, kind of a boring brunchsona but if youre a good cook you might get away with it. 

but if you really wanna play it up, you can make a brunchsona of a middle-class perfectionist hanging on by a thread and everything HAS to be perfect (hair perfectly curled, you curate an in-game instagram with beautiful plating and also your apron compliments your kitchen etc) and the week you fuck up the dish, you have a suburban nervous breakdown on television in which you accuse your husband of sleeping with the president of the PTA. committment to the role not only saves you from losing points for your dish, but you get a 2x brunchlore modifier. clutch

another strategy would be to be brunch brad the brunch dad, and cook everything on the grill because thats all you know. quiche? grill. pancakes? grill. mimosas? grill. you only know the grill life. 

[bardapologist]

okay my friends are getting stuck on the brunchsona so allow me to clarify. 

live laugh love-core is one valid brunchsona strategy, but by all means it is not the only brunchsona strategy. you could, for example make your brunchsona someone elses uncomfortable friend who isnt sure why they were invited to brunch. or you could make your brunchsona someone who brings kind of shitty dishes but then comes to brunch like they’ve brought god’s gift to daytime cuisine, one upping everyone else’s stories and overpronouncing barcelona. so, there’s options. 

as long as you are (say it with me, studio audience) contributing to the experience of the brunch. because remember. if you’re not working with the brunch. you’re working against the brunch. 

[destroymylife]

[bakwaaas]

hard pill to swallow: the idea that your ‘soulmate’ or ‘the one’ will know exactly how to make you happy without you ever having to communicate is fake. the fantasy that you will have all your needs met in a relationship without ever having to be vulnerable is fundamentally not true. sometimes you have to express your needs and desires, you have to ask for things, you have to communicate how you want to be loved, it’s uncomfortable and clumsy but relationships are about learning to love each other not being a mind reader

[icreatewhatibelieve]

“The one universal and inescapable law is the law of cause and effect. Where there is a cause, there must be an effect; where there is an effect, there must have been a cause. The present moment is filled, even cluttered with effects; but it is also waiting to be impregnated with causes. You reap in the now, you sow in the now.”

— Charles Roth, Mind: The Master Power

[timbllr]

[kenzodiazepine]

[crittizen]

Me, vibrating: If I Make A Single Mistake I’m Going To Explode

[crittizen]

It only takes one moderate annoyance to remind me that the line of sanity on which I walk is razor thin.

[tlirsgender]

You ever think about how crows are acting not unlike how early humans probably did and you're just like. Oh ok

[tlirsgender]

I saw a Thing one time about how the earliest sign of civilization is a healed femur because that shows that we were taking care of each other because if we Didn't a broken leg would mean you Die because you can't. Do things

And I was thinking about this and I remembered also seeing an article about this one mated pair of crows where one of them broke its beak and thus couldn't properly feed itself on its own. So the other one helps

So basically I have connected the two dots ("you didn't connect shit") I've connected them

And also they not only use tools but teach each other how to construct them, so uh

Really makes you think

[tlirsgender]

Realistically I know immortality would kinda suck but I'd love to see where crows are going with this