What it feels like being a LADS fan right now
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@ionicmess
What it feels like being a LADS fan right now
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐫𝐝 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐬
“You expected a brooding powerhouse. You got a history nerd who blushes when you call him cute.”
Everyone assumes Valko spends his free time lifting weights.
Or sharpening knives.
Or brooding dramatically while standing on rooftops.
They’re wrong.
You discover this after walking into his apartment one afternoon.
“…Valko?”
No answer.
You follow the sound of his voice into the living room.
He’s sitting cross-legged on the floor in a hoodie, glasses perched on his nose, surrounded by books, papers, and what looks suspiciously like a model kit.
“…What are you doing?”
He looks up.
“Oh. You’re early.”
“…Are those…”
He glances down.
“…Miniature medieval trebuchets.”
Silence.
“You build… tiny siege weapons?”
“They’re historically fascinating.”
You stare.
He stares back.
“…I think I love you more now.”
Dating Valko means learning very quickly that the giant, terrifying man your friends are scared of…
…cannot be trusted inside a bookstore.
“It’ll only be a minute.”
Three hours later you’re sitting in the café with two empty cups while Valko emerges carrying a stack of books so tall you can barely see his face.
“…Baby.”
“I only bought six.”
“That’s enough to qualify as moving furniture.”
“They were on sale.”
“That sentence has never saved anyone.”
His favorite thing in the world?
When you accidentally ask him a question.
“What kind of bird is that?”
You have made a mistake.
“…Well…”
That single word tells you everything.
Twenty-three minutes later you’re listening to the migration patterns of three different species while Valko excitedly points toward the trees.
His hands are moving as he talks.
His eyes are bright.
His usual deep, calm voice gets just a little faster every time he remembers another interesting fact.
“…And that’s why they’re different.”
You blink.
“I asked what bird it was.”
“I know.”
“I love listening to you.”
He freezes.
“…You do?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“…Most people tell me to stop.”
You reach up and cup his face.
“I’ll never tell you to stop.”
The smile that spreads across his face is so soft it nearly knocks the air out of your lungs.
He owns more sweaters than you do.
You refuse to believe otherwise.
They’re all oversized.
They’re all ridiculously soft.
And somehow every single one smells like cedar, coffee, and him.
You steal one.
He notices immediately.
“You have my sweater.”
“No, I don’t.”
“…You’re wearing it.”
“I found it.”
“In my closet.”
“It was abandoned.”
He sighs.
“…Keep it.”
“Really?”
“…You look happy in it.”
You learn that one of Valko’s favorite forms of affection…
…is reading to you.
You’ll be curled up against him on the couch while he quietly reads aloud from whatever book he’s obsessed with that week.
Sometimes you aren’t even listening to the story anymore.
You’re just listening to him.
His voice rumbles softly through his chest where your head is resting.
Every now and then he pauses.
“You fell asleep.”
“I was listening.”
“You snored.”
“I was… listening peacefully.”
“Hm.”
Then he kisses the top of your head…
…and keeps reading anyway.
One evening you catch him whispering to the little succulent on the windowsill.
“…Valko?”
He jumps.
“…Yes?”
“Were you talking to the plant?”
“…No.”
“The plant that you just called ‘little warrior?’”
“…”
“…Maybe.”
You walk over, kiss his cheek, and smile.
“You’re such a nerd.”
His ears immediately turn pink.
“…I’m not.”
“You collect tiny trebuchets.”
“They’re historically accurate.”
“You own color-coded bookmarks.”
“They’re organized.”
“You made a spreadsheet ranking every book you’ve read this year.”
“…”
“I rest my case.”
He lets out the most dramatic sigh you’ve ever heard, rubbing the back of his neck.
“…You’re lucky you’re cute.”
“I heard that.”
“I know.”
You grin mischievously.
“My giant, intimidating, adorable nerd.”
His face goes even redder.
“…Stop.”
“Oh my gosh.”
“…What?”
“Are you blushing?”
“…No.”
“You are!”
“I’m warm.”
“You’ve fought monsters without flinching, but I call you cute and suddenly you’re overheating?”
He covers his face with one large hand.
“…Please.”
You can’t help it—you laugh, reaching up to gently pull his hand away before standing on your tiptoes to kiss the tip of his nose.
“There he is.”
“…Who?”
“My boyfriend.”
He blinks.
“The scary guy everyone avoids?”
“No.”
“The guy who spends an hour in bookstores.”
“…”
“The one who gets excited over random bird facts.”
“…”
“The one who secretly names his plants.”
“…”
“The one who blushes when I call him cute.”
He groans quietly.
“…You’re never letting this go.”
“Never.”
A long silence settles between you.
Then, with the smallest, most bashful smile, Valko wraps both arms around your waist and pulls you into his chest.
“…Good.”
“What?”
“I don’t want you to.”
You look up at him.
He’s still pink.
Still pretending to be embarrassed.
But he’s smiling—the soft, genuine smile that only ever seems to belong to you.
You bury your face against his sweater.
“I love my giant history nerd.”
His arms squeeze around you just a little tighter.
“…I love you too.”
And somewhere on the windowsill…
…the little succulent named Sir Sprout silently witnessed the entire thing.
Posting this gif twice because I finally figured out how to make GIFs properly and it makes me laugh
made this in 5 minutes..
i am not doing well yall
Saw Hoppers and it was just this
My favorite character dynamic ever:
Worsties
BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU
Good morning big dick boys *kisses your morning wood*
Alpha Simargl [Pedigree]
🐱 Kurilian Bobtail
📸 Naumenko Aleksej [Simargl*RU]
🎨 Black Mackerel Tabby
love is... drabbles about attachment, infatuation, obsession.
terrifying. it's coming up on the edge of a cliff. it's the feeling of falling freely, blindly, not knowing if what awaits you at the bottom is something that will cradle or ruin. it's the loss of all strings previously holding you in place. you flail in the air, attempting to grab onto anything that can slow your rapid descent, but you're already in the process of slipping. it's sweaty palms, the jump of your heart, a twisting feeling in your chest that you're certain has to be from illness, though would you really be wrong?
exciting. above all else, it's fun. it's running without rhyme, reason, or any particular goal. the only destination is wherever your feet lead you. directions and inhibitions are thrown to the wayside in place of chasing the resulting high. laughter is what consumes your breath, and when you do manage to take in air, it's light and refreshing. at the summit, nothing else really matters.
fickle. it's the flip of a coin, the roll of a die. it's the adoption of a role, playing a part, then stepping off the stage once it ends. it's a tree that flowers for one season, then lies in wait for the next. blossoms fall to the ground and wither, returning to the earth knowing the cycle will begin itself anew. it's the rapid pace of feet against the floor, never staying in one place for longer than what's needed, longer than what's wanted.
unnecessary. a purposeless, meaningless endeavor. it's an wilted branch you prune, a cancerous growth you cut out, a leaking pipe you choke off the supply to before it can do any further damage. it's something you can only stand to witness from a distance, if at all. unwanted and unsought by you, all it exists as is a burden, an obstruction, a hindrance to your goals. it isn't for you.
comforting. it's a warm meal at the end of a long day. it's a thumb on the back of your hand, ghosting over your knuckles. it's a heartbeat placed against your ear, clearing your head, easing your mind, lulling you to sleep. it's peace, rest, relaxation, and reassurance in one. it's the knowledge that there is always a home waiting for you.
painful. how many times can a thread fray before it snaps? how many times can glass shatter until its fragments are too small to hold? it's skin scrubbed red, raw, scarred at the seams, stitched and stapled and sutured to the point even the slightest touch burns, and you recoil in pain. it's what stings under mild warmth, nerve endings firing repeatedly, all too used to the motions of tearing itself open, just barely realigning its pieces, then being met with same damning cuts yet again.
difficult. it's a period of silence, then words neither can take back, then silence again. it's a jumbled mess of wants, of needs, of attempts at forming a cohesive union between different people. it's compromising, relinquishing control, stepping back when you know space is needed, yet not leaving even when it presents itself as the easiest option.
desperate. it's all you have, and all you ever want to. it's the lifebuoy thrown to you when you're stranded in the middle of the ocean. it's the rush of oxygen filling your lungs after you choke out all the water that occupied it previously. you reach up seeking more rescue breaths just to grasp that sense of salvation once more. fingers dig into flesh into muscle into bone into marrow. won't they meet you with the same intensity you're showing them?
What do you mean you can’t find a job? Have you looked on Indeed? What about Linkedin? You should try Upwork. How about Rise? Have you tried Jobera? Take a look on Dribbble. You GOTTA be on Jooble, dude. Get on Jooble. Jooble has it for you.
Wait I have a real version of this
THOSE ARE ALL REAL WEBSITES
i was watching a video about how regional cheeses are made around the world, and was shown a type of mozzarella called zizzona (the z/zz pronounced like the 'zz' in 'pizza', with a 'tz' sound), which, yes, means "mother's breast".
so rest easy tonight knowing they have titty cheese in italy.
they also make special GIANT 66lb zizzona
so rest easy tonight knowing they have hummina hummina aWOOGAH iyiyiyiyi GAZONGA cheese in italy
the honest to god audacity some of u have to shit talk someone's free home made cookies out in the open.