I'm not paid to think, but I do.

A queer redhead with a kink for cycling around town, writing and reading fanfic about queer women - The Archers, Berena, and currently the good ship Swarla.

[shippingsincebeforeyouwereborn]

Amazing video that even makes emotional sense out of the unfortunate wife situation last fall.

[kosmogrl]

[balfeys]

#ummmm…..yeah😵‍💫

[iordio]

Today's view - an afternoon off from the hamster wheel of applying for jobs.

Oh it's bad, so bad that I've created a spreadsheet to track what job I'm applying for, what agency, did I hear back, have I been offered an interview.

[iordio]

Today's view - just thoughts / takeaways from today's Corrie.

1. We knew Syd was good, but still.

2. We also knew that VM was good, but still. That patented Carla-style launch towards Dylan was something else.

3. VMs ear piercings - three, not two, but three.

4. Touching. Lisa/Carla, Lisa/Carla/Betsy/Ryan, Ryan/Carla.

5. The reason they did the Rebecca Falconer storyline when they did, was that nothing is gonna break this Connor-Swain found family apart now they are married.

6. Ry Ry and Bets' sibling dynamics.

7. Carla's giraffe squatting, as we know how tall Lisa isn't.

8. Lisa's two second panic and triggers of forgetting that she has a loving and supportive wife and nephew and not a manipulative, egotistic, coercive ex-wife. 20-odd years and only six months clean. Scars run deep, love.

9. Lisa's comment about hands around my neck while dancing.

10. Are we gonna link the stroke storyline back to Lisa's family?

11. The wider societal issues about social media and normalisation of porn and its impact on the under 30s.

12. Please don't let VM or Syd burnout.

13. Another delay in Carla and Lisa going on their honeymoon.

14. Dylan's care package including noise cancelling headphones as Betsy's are broken. Overuse???

15. The flashback shot of Betsy looking at the camera. I had to do a double take as I thought it was Lisa.

16. Betsy and Liam's dancing. Argentina tango vibes. Are they hinting at a Strictly contestant?

17. The hour long episodes work so much better. Can we have them back, please?

18. Lisa was a Mum with a tiny bit of DS Connor-Swain.

19. Lisa listened and didn't jump to conclusions, allowing Betsy to explain. That is growth.

20. If AK, Syd, Liam, and Ryan were all in Ibiza at the same time. Who was taking the photographs?

I'll probably have more thoughts later.

[balfeys]

#our girl<3

[iordio]

Today's view - freeing my pot bound plant babies.

[jmflowers]

Swarla Kisses Rated: Part 2 | based upon | part 1 | part 3 | part 4

28. "Oh, what do I know, Lisa?" (2 May 2025)

I'm actually obsessed with comedian Carla Connor cracking jokes one minute and then going full serious a second later when she kisses her girlfriend's head. The swipe over Lisa's hair to smooth it back down (or remove the remnants of her lipstick?) made my tumblr dash feral for 3 whole business days. 4/10 don't tell me you don't think about stroking Lisa Swain's hair, too.

29. "Mick did, babe. Mick did." (23 May 2025)

I could get so fucking sappy about this moment, this conversation, the comfort in such a low-lit scene. But this list is not for that! So, know that Lisa holding her breath until Carla kisses her cheek dislodged a few of my brain cells and all the rest were left thinking about Carla's pretty, pretty manicure and post-bath waves. 6/10 sue me, I love women especially when they're so undone.

30. "You did so well. So well today." (11 June 2025)

We're really in the era of Carla Connor's words of affirmation, folks. Lisa Swain being so fucking buttoned-up and on edge that Carla has to come all the way towards her rewired my insides the first time I saw it. I swear to god it looks like Lisa doesn't believe she deserves the affection. Something something about breaking down her walls and such. 5/10 cause I'm horny, not heartless.

31. "Well done, babe." (11 June 2025)

The rest of the something something about breaking down walls! Lisa Swain said if you're gonna kiss my cheek, I'm gonna kiss the air beside yours, too. Don't get me started on the way she fucking melts into Carla's hug, finally at peace. If this was on AO3, I'd be hitting that kudos button like it owed me money. 5/10

32. Rogue Lip Wipe (13 June 2025)

Listen, I know this isn't a kiss... but it's a kiss to me. That lip bite, the thumb stroke, that gaze - there is nothing but horny in love explanations for it, kids. I hope she ate out cuddled Carla Connor on a bed made of house listings after their tea cause it's what they deserve. 6/10 Lisa Swain can get it a future with Carla.

33. "Get your sexy bum into the shower, now." (18 June 2025)

I'm going to make one of those schedule-regulating apps but it'll just be Carla Connor bossing us all around until we shower and eat regular meals and such. And if we all get as flustered as Lisa Swain does in this moment, well... Y'all know I'm a sucker for the eye contact and face gazing and little smiles so this is a solid 8/10, with or without the pom poms getting whipped out.

34. "It's the beginning of you moving on." (18 June 2025)

I'm irritated that I even had to clip this scene and find the precise moment Carla's lips hit Lisa's head to gif it cause we can't even see the kiss! Realistically, I know this was probably an insert added to make the Lisa-going-to-counselling storyline flow properly (and after they'd already started dismantling the flat set, most likely), but they really did us dirty with this one. 1/10 Corrie said fuck your gay rights.

35. "I rely on you for hugs and red wine." (18 July 2025)

I'd like us all to focus on the nuzzle and the whispered I love yous and the way Carla's eyes close when she kisses Lisa's head and n o t h i n g else. This whole episode was like watching one of those action movie scenes where a bomb is ticking down and the hero needs to cut a wire to keep it from exploding... only, Lisa doesn't own wire cutters. 4/10 I wish Carla's kisses could save Lisa from detonation.

36. [Humming Kiss Noises] (21 July 2025)

Is this ASMR for queers? They both stepped into this kiss with such conviction I nearly had to search for survivors. The way Carla cradles Lisa's face and plays with her hair after and those damn cheekbones at work! Actually, forget what I said before: there were no survivors. 9/10

37. "Seriously, I'm dead proud of you." (21 July 2025)

Teeny tiny Carla Connor craning upwards to kiss the forehead of her even teenier tinier girlfriend... fuck, if that doesn't make you mush, I don't know what will! I'm thriving with all these comforting hugs and kisses in this time of emotional turmoil. 7/10 Lisa's safe place is right there in Carla's arms.

38. The Sliding into Home Cheek Kiss (30 July 2025)

Context aside, this is one of my favourite kisses from this year. The way Carla slides to the floor and into Lisa's side is fucking poetry to my eyeballs. God damn romance dance, y'all. Toss in Lisa's little FACE and I'm a fucking goner. Gimme two women comforting each other, world; I'm a simple gay. 7/10

39. "It's okay." (30 July 2025)

Counting the number of veins visible in Lisa's forehead is how I forget what she's crying about in this moment. I know some of y'all think Carla Connor has more patience than sense, but all I see on my screen is a saint of a woman and the pussy she's addicted to human bean she loves through good times and bad. 4/10 imagine if there wasn't drama on this SOAP.

40. "I'm all yours." (1 August 2025)

Carla Connor's damn pillow fortress strikes again! Seriously, though, the sounds of this kiss, the tentative little smile on Carla's face while Lisa declares her commitment, the full body lean from Lisa to connect their lips... In another universe, we got them making out on the bean couch before they moved to number 6. I guess this'll have to do for this universe. 8/10 I want this version of them forever. 🤡

41. "Bye, darlin'." (11 August 2025)

THEY OWN A HOUSE ON CORONATION STREET, Y'ALL! And nothing says domesticity quite like a kiss goodbye while you hold the wheelie bin open. I'm waiting for the day we see Lisa walk Carla to work, holding hands the entire way. But until then, I'm happy for little moments like this one. 5/10 cause I'm surprised Lisa doesn't fall off the scaffolding she's calling her shoes. Someone get Vicky an apple box!

42. "What was that for?" (11 August 2025)

Lisa Swain chasing down Carla's head so she can kiss it is something that can be so deeply personal. This entire episode is the epitome of my hierarchy of needs pyramid: from physiological to self-actualization, kids. No wonder Carla Connor wants to propose approximately 4 and a half seconds later. 7/10 someone get Lisa a target with Carla's face on it so she can practice.

43. "That pink makes your eyes pop." (11 August 2025)

It's almost as if Corrie doesn't even care that I'm making this series of posts! I'll give it a pass because Carla's little hum and blushy smile before this kiss is impossible to resist. She's so proud to be a mother figure to Betsy that I could actually explode. 7/10 I'm looking at Lisa's silky blonde hair but I'd rather be examining this from 14 different angles like it's an episode of your favourite multi-cam sitcom.

44. "Did I just pie ya?" (11 August 2025)

Thank fuck they included this adorable, giggly moment in the episode so y'all could become unhinged on tumblr[dot]com about it. Nobody tell the editors anything I've ever said about them cause they've won me back over. There's nothing on earth more endearing than an actress knowing the regional lingo for accidental improvisation. 8/10 I'm down to watch them laugh into each others lips any day of the week.

45. "Good morning." (13 August 2025)

This! This is the angle I'm talking about! Nothing says "I'm making a series of very serious posts where I rate on-screen kisses" quite like a shot where we can see the precise movements of their mouths. The only thing that could've made this better would be a little tongue some privacy more domesticity less clothing more comedy a ring on that finger. 9/10 someone hurry up and hit a knee already!

46. The Distraction Kiss (1 September 2025)

I'm not even remotely exaggerating when I say that Lisa's lip bite as she steps away from this kiss gives me fucking butterflies. Cockiest dyke on the cobbles returns! Carla bending down so far to reach Lisa's mouth was for the gays and you can't tell me otherwise. I'm a sucker for any kiss where they keep their eyes open and stare at each other, so even though this is but a peck I'm gonna give it an 7/10. Either one of them could stare into my soul whenever they please, free of charge.

47. "'Course I'll flamin' marry you." (3 September 2025)

Is it November 2024?!?! The fucking GUSTO with which Carla Connor dives in for kiss number two is my god damn Roman Empire. The greatest crime Corrie's ever committed is cutting away from this shot to show us everyone else's reactions as if we really cared. 14/10 let them suck face like this for longer, ITV - I dare you.

48. No WLW Story is Complete Without a Spinning Camera Kiss (3 September 2025)

...is anyone else having flashbacks to other shows? The fucking butterflies of this moment, y'all. Corrie doesn't use music all that often, but when they do it hits like a freight train. How the hell did we manage to get here in less than a year and who do I owe money to for making it happen? 12/10 someone let Lisa's hand drift lower, just once.

49. "Well, you are. For life, wife." (3 September 2025)

Roy talking about his marriage to Hayley, Carla so fervently kissing Lisa's head, Lisa's little smile when she does... it's like a 3-punch knockout! Corrie said, "Here's another legendary, iconic couple on the famous Coronation Street," and I bowed at their feet in gratitude. 6/10 They both look so peaceful I could die or they might, let's be real.

50. "I love you." (3 September 2025)

If you thought for even a second that a full body shot of them kissing in front of the house they own wouldn't make me S C R E A M, you were dead wrong. The way Lisa steps even closer and fucking leans into Carla? Just bury me now. I hope they fucked real nasty had a lovely evening after this. 13/10

51. They're Engaged! (3 September 2025)

If you had told any of us at any point in time before these two got together that the Carla Connor would be engaged to a woman and part of the first WLW couple to own a house on Coronation Street... How lucky we are to live in a time where this story and these characters exist and these actors are so willing to tell it as they are! I could live forever in the gentle swipe of Carla's thumb across Lisa's cheek. We made it, folks! 129/10 for another incredible four months of swarla!!!

[iordio]

@shippingsincebeforeyouwereborn. Lisa initiates lots of head and hand kisses, but very few for on the lips.

[iordio]

Today's view - waiting in anticipation for replacement mattress to arrive some time tomorrow.

[swainconnors]

[jen-kollic]

I am fucking loving how shit-scared the UK right-wing is of a man with a bin on his head. Now that Count Binface might actually win the Clacton byelection they're desperately trying to smear him with such gems as:

"He's anti-Brexit!" Good.

"He's anti-Trump!" Good.

"He's anti-establishment!" At this point I think you're just trying to make me like him more.

"His manager once called Farage a horrible cunt!" Well Farage *is* a horrible cunt, what's your point?

"He's making a joke of British politics!" Well that's very appropriate given that current British politics *are* a fucking joke.

"He's a left-wing liberal elitist!" I don't know if you can be all of those things at once, but I do know that Count Binface isn't the one getting millions in donations from cryptocurrency billionaires sooooooo...

Vote change. Vote Binface.

[do-not-u-dare]

i don’t know what the fuck is going on in britian rn but. sounds cool

[knightbell]

Apparently a bin-based superhero (not a joke) is up against an asshole politicion in whatever a byelection is, idk, I don't follow my own county's politics

[jen-kollic]

In short, Farage is the current Member or Parliament for a place called Clacton. This is equivalent to being a Member of Congress if you're American.

Farage is the leader of the far-right Reform party, is a Putin and Trump simp, hates the NHS and wants it abolished in favour of US-style private healthcare (won't someone *please* think of the poor billionaire investors who aren't able to run the NHS for profit???) and was a major driving force behind Brexit.

He's a rich cunt but he's also a rich cunt who recieved a £5 million "gift" from a billionaire crypto bro which was not declared to Parliament. Which is not a good look as MPs are supposed to be open about their finances and funding to prove that there's no conflicts of interest going on. He's also recieved funding from a convicted fraudster.

He also criticised the RNLI (Royal National Lifeboat Institution) for saving migrants trying to cross the English Channel instead of letting them drown, referring to them as a "migrant taxi service". Which is fucking abhorrent in the first place, but dipshit was apparently unaware that the RNLI is funded almost entirely by donations and recieves no government funding. Shortly after making this criticism, donations to the RNLI surged because fuck Farage.

Anyway, with increased public scrutiny on his finances, Farage decided to try some theatrics, announcing that he was resigning as the MP for Clacton. This triggers the byelection, because Clacton needs an MP. Farage is going to stand for reelection despite resigning, declaring that he would clear his name in the court of public opinion. Because if people still vote him in despite the financial fuckery then clearly the *people* support him, fuck you Parliament Farage is the rebel outsider who everyone loves.

The other mainstream political parties decided not to field candidates, because this was clearly just a publicity stunt. Unfortunately for Farage, Count Binface isn't a mainstream political party, he's an intergalactic space warrior who doesn't afraid of anything. (including milkshakes)

And it's looking like Count Binface might actually win, though now some other independent candidates have stepped up. Including a furry and a clairvoyant. The venerable Monster Raving Looney Party have also expressed interest.

So now the right wing pundits and media are stuck in a catch-22: either they have to take candidates like Count Binface seriously and treat them as genuine political threats, or ignore them and just hope that they don't win. So they've been doing the former and it's hilarious. Please Telegraph, keep telling me why Count Binface is an elite London left-wing conspiracy sent to bamboozle the honest working folk of Clacton. It's even funnier when you consider that the other option is Farage, who caused this situation in the first place.

[relevant-tvtropes-articles]

Big Damn Heroes - TV Tropes

Any time the heroes/anti heroes get to save the day in a big, awesome manner. For instance, say that the poor Damsel in Distress is looking

[iordio]

Today's view - I wish I was here and not in London. They have less heat, more breeze, and no mattresses from hell, and space.

[iordio]

Today's view - at this point, it can just do one.

[iordio]

Today's view - goods secured. You will have to wait a bit before I post them.

@shippingsincebeforeyouwereborn @ceridwyn2

[iordio]

Today's view - went here, had pizza, found aircon, had fun.

[iordio]

It's my 12 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Came for #Rookie Blue, stayed for #Berena, found my ride or die in #Swarla.

[iordio]

There is nothing as soul destroying as...

...having to pay for LinkedIn Premium just so you can use it in the way you need to when applying for jobs.

I'd also go as far as the second most soul destroying thing is applying for jobs on a Sunday night.