Xuebing Du
occasionally subtle
#extradirty
cherry valley forever
pixel skylines
Misplaced Lens Cap
almost home
tumblr dot com
Andulka
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
shark vs the universe
oozey mess
No title available
Keni
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Three Goblin Art
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Sade Olutola
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
we're not kids anymore.
seen from Latvia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Romania
seen from Czechia
seen from South Africa
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@irctze-blog
I have a 14 hour bus ride home and then I'll be able to get to my drafts and owed replies. I assumed I'd have wifi on this trip and that wasn't the case. I'm so sorry to everyone for not being active for this past week. I'll talk to you all soon! x
I’m so sorry for my lack of activity this weekend. I made a trip out to one of my potential colleges and the hotel didn’t offer any complimentary wifi. I just woke up (and it’s 2pm, yikes) but I’ll get to drafts throughout the evening!
irctze:
Magnus narrowed his eyes, an amused look still written across his lips as he pursed them together. Watching the brief flash of hesitation on Alexanders face when his own words caught him off guard. The Warlock will never tire of how easy it was to leave the Shadowhunter speechless. “If you wish it, it shall be done.” He courtly nodded, moving his hands behind his back in proper form as he held onto his wrist. “But you must grant me one more night where I can give a proper farewell to the Alexander I know before you lock him away.”
The warlock’s words stole Alec’s breath away. He opened his mouth to protest his last assertion, but all Alec could wrap his mind around was the not-so-subtle lurch in his chest. “I’m not locking myself away,” he insisted, daring to look into Magnus’s eyes before abruptly tearing his gaze away. That lie was thinly veiled ; Magnus could surely see past its feeble attempts at overriding the truth. He was tempted to reply with a bit more venom, to retort with something underscoring the fact that Magnus didn’t know him, not fully... But the words felt vile as they threatened to press past his lips, so Alec blinked slowly, letting out a hushed sigh. “Oh. Tonight, I...” He readied himself to make an excuse that would not come. Coming here had been a mistake. Even so, Alec found himself agreeing before he could convince himself to act otherwise. “Okay. What do you need me to do?”
“That’s more like it.” She gave a little laugh, wrapping her arms around the older male. “See? Was thanking me really that hard? I’m only glad Lydia understood. So dad seemed okay with it? Sorta?”
“Don’t get too used to it,” he teased. Alec’s arms circled around Isabelle as he pulled her into a gentle hug. He gave her a light squeeze before letting go, casting her a hint of a smile. “Dad... Sort of. I think he’ll manage. He doesn’t understand, but he’s not angry.” Alec trailed off, glancing away for a moment. “On the other hand, I don’t know if Mom’ll ever look me in the eye again.”
@irctze
‘ how’re you feeling after such a big day? everything alright? no one’s giving you trouble? ‘
“ Well, I can’t say my parents are too thrilled about any of this. But, um. I don’t know. I can’t get a read on how I feel yet. I’m still kind of... in shock, I guess. ”
her eyebrows drew down in confusion, ‘’ where are you going && with no back up ? ’ she questioned, following after her big brother.
█▐ ♕ @irctze
Alec’s eyes fell closed for a brief moment, a quiet sigh skirting past thin-pressed lips. He should have known sneaking out would be far more complicated than anticipated. He wasn’t well-versed in breaking bending the rules by any means. “Nowhere,” he supplied, continuing his fast-paced walk through the halls. His phone pinged in his pocket -- Alec fought the urge to retrieve the device, instead glancing over his shoulder at Isabelle. “Where are you going?”
That episode ruined me and I have yet to finish my essays that are due tomorrow. So I’m going to lurk on mobile for while and then hit the hay. Apologies for all the drafts I have yet to post; I didn’t anticipate this school week being so hectic. They are on their way and I promise I’ll get the majority done when I get home tomorrow. In the meantime, pls hit me up if you want to plot out a thread based on tonight’s episode because the need is so, so real.
Send my muse kisses you want to give them!
sidestuiff:
✚ for a kiss on a wound.
♕ for a kiss of swearing fealty.
✿ for a sweet kiss on the cheek.
♠ for a kiss that leaves a mark on the skin.
♆ for a kiss where there is a pulse.
ϡ for a kiss that lets you know I love you.
ღ for a kiss filled with passion and need.
† for a kiss to say good bye forever.
✄ for hateful kiss – gonna make you feel the scorn okay?!
☂ for a kiss in the rain.
@irtcrize LIKED for an ep based starter
“And you, are welcome.”
“Yeah, don’t let it get to your head.” He couldn’t mask the smile that lit his features, nor the spark that twinkled in his eyes. For the first time, Alec felt as though he could finally breathe. “Thank you, Izzy. Really.”
Magnus, who appeared to be in a state of shock, stood frozen. Several groups of people—Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike—were staring and whispering. Glancing to the side, Simon saw the Lightwoods, their eyes wide, gaping at the display. Maryse had her hand over her mouth.
@irctze started following highwarlockofglam
—
Because of course as he opens his door he would be assaulted with that tuft of black hair, those clear blue eyes, and it would just drive him utterly wild. Of course though, he had to quell that raging beast, but also had to be polite. His cat-like eyes of course betraying him with a wild, desperate glow. “To what do I owe the please?” He hummed out.
The trip to where he stood now had lacked forethought or reason. Alec had slipped out of The Institute fairly undetected with the intent of going for a simple stroll to clear his head. He now found himself on the doorstep of the one and only Magnus Bane, staring at his feet as if the soft glint of moonlight against his boots could blind him to the stupidity necessary to land him here. He lifted his head as the door opened, a flicker of panic evident in his gaze as his attempted to explain himself. “Magnus. I, um.” Clearly, he was off to a fabulous start. The Shadowhunter shuffled his feet uncomfortably. His heart was beating staggeringly fast. All he could manage was the simple, irrational truth. “I... needed to see you.”
School today! I’ll work on my drafts when I get home tonight. x
Hades and Persephone Malec AU II Closed to irctze
Magnus let out a gentle sigh as he heard Alec’s response. “I’ll leave you be,” the god started to say, pausing as he moved in front of the other and held the pomegranate and glass out to him, “ once you eat and drink. It’s been nearly a month and you haven’t had anything. You know, despite us being in the Underworld, I don’t want you to parish.” He smiled faintly at the young man, trying to show him there was nothing that he should fear while he was with him. He pulled up a chair and sat in front of Alec with one leg crossed over the other. “I’m sorry that you’re miserable, Alexander, but I promise, if you give me a chance, I can make you the happiest man who has ever lived.” His words and eyes were sincere as he gazed upon the younger man.
Alec eyed the food and drink, unable to fully mask the flicker of hunger that passed across his features. It was a saddening existence, sitting in this room, staring at walls. While he and Magnus conversed occasionally, most of Alec’s time had been spent in solitude, with nothing but his thoughts for company. He glanced from the food to the man who held it, gaze equally questioning as it was skeptical. Alec flexed his hands, palms stretching before curling into loose fists by his side. “You should have thought about that before you brought me here,” he stated pointedly, narrowing his eyes. Despite this statement, Alec reached out, gingerly taking the pomegranate and wine from the god’s grasp. As Magnus sat in front of him, it became painfully clear that refusing his offering was not an option. Alec raised the wine glass to eye level, inspecting the burgundy liquid with a careful eye. After a moment, he moved the glass to his lips, meeting Magnus’s eyes as he held the glass just millimeters away. “Because being held captive certainly makes me want to give you a chance,” he mumbled before taking a small, tentative sip of wine. And oh, had he missed this. Dark lashes fanned against fair cheeks as Alec’s eyes fell shut with bliss. This wine was divine. “Did you actually think this whole plan would work?” he asked as his eyes fluttered back open. The venom had abandoned his tone, instead replaced by a guarded curiosity. The dark haired male turned the pomegranate in his grip, observing how the light reflected temptingly off of its ruby colored seeds. Alec’s attention was captured by the sight for a few moments before he forced himself to look away, back up to Magnus, as he awaited a reply.
irctze:
Now that had his ears perk up- decline the invitation? Magnus would never. He had a reputation to uphold and although this party might not be for something he necessarily approves of… well, the main attraction was certainly worth a come look see. “It’ll be cancelled if I don’t attend?” There was amusement in his voice, avoiding the fact they were both trying to avoid the obvious. “I’m flattered that I’m such an intrical part in your celebrations.”
Alec opened his mouth to respond, yet words evaded him. A hint of rosy color heated his cheeks as he broke their eye contact, gaze falling to the floor. “Um. That’s not exactly... It’s, uh... The guest list.” He paused for a brief second before looking up at Magnus once more. “Izzy won’t think it’s worth it if most people don’t attend, so. It’d mean a lot to me if you could decline.” Truth be told, Alec didn’t know who else was on the guest list -- or if there was even a chance of convincing Izzy to relinquish the party she’d been planning for the past week. Despite his insistence that marrying Lydia was what he wanted, Alec didn’t exactly deem it reason to celebrate. “And, I, uh... Like you said, I’m not the bachelor type. It probably wouldn’t even be that... fun. For either of us.”
Magnus was at his wits end, he could feel his breath catch in his throat his heart thundering hard in his chest as he stormed into the chapel, immediately his eyes caught the looks he was given. He could hear the harsh whispers, how dare a warlock stroll in during a beautiful ceremony. He could hear the disgust in most of the Institute’s protests which of course caused Maryse to rise from her seat intercepting his goal to get towards Alec. There he was, and he still couldn’t believe it that after so long he would always recognize him. It wasn’t just a passing fancy that overtook the warlock’s heart when he looked the archer. Slowly everything came flooding back, he could barely hear the hiss of Maryse’s tone couldn’t focus on anyone else around him. The only person that mattered, the only person that he wanted to see stood there facing him staring right back at him as if they were the only two in the grand hall. Though Magnus was sure that this life would be like all the others, he still had hope for the man that now stepped down those stairs and towards him. He wouldn’t call it fate, because it wasn’t fate, it was a spell that had gone horribly wrong. Several lifetimes of pain, of loneliness and of guilt had taken the warlock past his breaking point. He had swore after his last that he would never wish this pain upon himself or anyone else, he swore that his heart would be closed up for good. He made promises to himself to put his work first, to only have casual partners so that he would never be hurt again. Each one of those oaths he forced upon his being had been broken with one simple man. A man with beautiful blue eyes, dark hair and a voice that made the immortal’s knees weak had stole all of him, that man’s name had been Alexander. Though his face had changed over the years, though his voice took a different tone as well Magnus would just know him. He would, no matter what form he took he would know him- after all it had been his doing that brought them this far. Immortality was not kind to someone like him, someone who craved companionship would never find someone to stay for that duration. It would always be one of two options, the person would leave or they too would be taken from him through death. After meeting this man, he swore that it would never happen again. He loved him far too deeply and felt much too selfish to ever let him go again.
The immortal had been reckless, he had been desperate to keep this love for them alive and just as eternal as his lifespan. Alexander had just been as for it as well , refusing to become a memory for the being, refusing to allow him to live a life of solitude. If only Magnus had remembered that for everything, especially magic a price would always be on the table. You couldn’t mess with a soul and expect everything to work out in your favor, you couldn’t play god and not get burned. Magnus snapped back out of his memories suddenly staring up at the taller man, his lips parting as he swallowed audibly, what had he just said? Something about - leaving? Something about them being right back? Just what had happened while he was remembering why he had stormed the wedding with such intent, why he could not simply let go . He would not back down, would not give up on him. He would steal him away if need be. He had promised, he had swore to find him in every life, love him in any body and stay with him until his last breath. He had cursed them, plain and simple. Doomed them to always find one another but every time it came with the packaged emotions of pain, happiness and then loneliness. As Alec led them towards the doors he glanced over his shoulder, he could see Lydia’s hopeful smile turn into a confused expression coupled with pain. Oh he was a selfish man, stealing someone’s wedding right from underneath them, he was disgusting and would not blame Lydia for hating him for the rest of her life. He deserved nothing less, and could possibly lose more later on. Following the archer quickly he reached out , pulling Alec to a stop as soon as they were far enough away. “You do know why - I am here don’t you?”
Fool,of course he wouldn’t- of course this life would be like all the others. He wouldn’t remember anything, the words of loyalty that would stay in his heart and grace his ears as he remembered their first life together.
Happiness was a principle Alexander Lightwood had ruled out quite quickly, in this life. A Shadowhunter’s purpose was to serve and protect. Individual fulfillment could not take precedence over the greater good. Despite his developing path of self-discovery, Alec had realized from a young age that he would not be able to pursue love in the way most could. He’d become infatuated with his parabatai at an early age; he’d taken several years to realize that this love transcended the bounds of brotherly and crossed into romantic realms. While his feelings for Jace had faded, the realization they had prompted continued to plague his mind. Alec subdued this part of him beneath battle-hardened walls. The archer confronted life’s tribulations with a clenched jaw and steeled gaze. In the face of danger, he would approach it with equanimity. In the face of fear, he would overcome. When confronted with his sexuality, he would bury it.
It was due to this that Alec had become the pinnacle of the Lightwood legacy -- legendary in battle, bravery, and heart. In the eyes of The Clave, the young Lightwood inhaled purpose; exhaled success. His potential to lead grew in leaps and bounds, for he exhibited what few Shadowhunters fully grasped -- pure, total dedication to the cause. What none registered, however, was how this wholehearted devotion to The Institute’s ideals was a tactic to drown out a truth no Shadowhunter could ever accept. Alec tamed the ghosts in his mind, stifled any thought that challenged the values his peers held true. He perpetuated a travesty of individuality, upholding a charade of emotional indifference that enhanced all but his capacity for bliss.
In response, Alec stripped happiness of its dictionary definition and implemented a new one -- discipline. Happiness was slaying demons, guarding the mundane world from rogue Downworlders, and living to tell the tale. Satisfaction was earning the respect of his peers, his parents, The Clave. Joy was conforming to a life of purpose, abandoning self-interest for self-restraint. Delight was envisioning a life of political strength and influence, a life of making a difference; triumphant was the man whose future fit the mold.
And yet...
Yet dreams nourished his demons, dreams of false chances at a love that would never be his. Dreams of ebony eyes and gentle touch that sent his heart racing, mind reeling long after he woke. They left residual hope, a foolish sense of possibility that tingled across his skin. No amount of soap and scalding water could wash away the jolt of longing that spread through his veins like wildfire. All his life, Alexander Lightwood yearned to feel.
Feeling came in the form of Lydia Branwell, and that feeling was obligation.
The proposal had been abrupt -- both parties were well aware of its purpose. Both had been in love with the prospect of security, not one another. Lydia had met Alec’s eyes and her agreement had sealed their fate. He had followed his heart -- the heart crafted by through training, refined by fixed purpose. Alec had been fearful of the side of himself he had not entertained, the side that became restless at the introduction of Magnus Bane. The way his composure crumbled around the other male terrified him. Lydia was a way to silence that fear, defer Isabelle’s rising suspicion, and set forth into the life Alec had believed he was meant to lead. Now, the Shadowhunter wasn’t so sure.
His thoughts dissipated as Magnus's hand met his and he was gently tugged to a halt. Alec swallowed, an attempt to free the breath that caught in the back of his throat. Blue eyes danced along the floor for several seconds before they built up the courage to flicker up to the man who stood before him.
“I...” Alec was overly aware of how their hands were still joined. His chest tightened; his heart beat loudly in his ears. He felt as though he were underwater, as if he were drowning. He wetted his lips, his fingertips subconsciously curling more securely around the warlock’s.
“You...” He trailed off, opting to search the other’s expression, eyebrows lifting slightly. Inquisitively. The highlight along Magnus’s cheekbones shimmered softly in the gentle lighting. The glitter beneath his eyes accentuated his gaze; drew Alec’s eyes inward and didn’t allow them to break free. “Um.” He was at a loss, both enraptured and baffled by dark eyes that were suddenly magnetic. “For the wedding,” he supplied stupidly. It was then that Alec blinked several times before looking away, letting out a breath.
“Not, um... You... You know what I mean.”
Did he? Could Magnus register just how swiftly he’d stolen Alec’s affections? Was it obvious just how bewitched the Shadowhunter was by his beauty? Alec had never felt such a pull toward anyone. It was equal parts exhilarating as it was paralyzing.
Alec was going to marry the female ( bitch ) from the Clave. Izzy was lonely. Clary was his sister. His greatest enemy is his father. How did his life become that screwed up? Never before he wanted to go back to the start, when things were okay and he knew who he was.
The rune on his stomach was burning. He could feel the anger and the disappointment of his parabatai. And he heard how Alec came closer.
“ Don’t worry, I do not plan to tell you that this marriage might be foolish. I’ve no right to judge and if this is what you really want then I’ll stand beside you if you still want it. “
( ‘ @irctze — starter call ‘ )
The young Lightwood stepped forward with his head bowed, gaze trained on the floor. His hands buried themselves in his pockets. He couldn’t trust himself. Alec’s heart beat steadily, heavy in his chest.
He felt the sting against his flesh, a harsh breath breezing past parted lips. Blue eyes focused anywhere but on his parabatai. The air between them stiffened, oxygen replaced with the weight of dubiety. Change. Perhaps if he didn’t look, he wouldn’t see the way everything had lost its simplicity... His gaze shifted anyway.
“Marrying Lydia is what I want.” The lie danced painfully past his lips. He did his best to subdue the doubt and fault that flickered across his features. “Is it that hard to believe?” It was far easier to criticize than confess.
Happy Easter to all who celebrate! I’m going to be with family for the majority of the day, so all replies will come tonight once I’m home.
Like this post for a short starter when I get back!
