🌸 nani 🌸 @iridescenthappiness - Tumblr Blog

changes

genre: fluffy fluff with some angst in between

pairing: jaemin x reader (y/n)

word count: 5.7k

I was supposed to meet up with my friends here over an hour ago. I've been waiting the whole time and nobody responds to my phone calls and I'm starting to get very annoyed. We wanted to go to this amusement park today and now I'm standing here all alone with my coupon for free entry. I lean against the wall next to the entry and pull out the coupon out of my wallet. My eyes scan the little, folded piece of paper for an expiry date. Which is today. Great.

My best friend invited some of our friends and other people which I haven't met yet, so I have been excited and nervous all morning. But as it seems it was all for nothing.

I check my phone one last time before sighing heavily and making my way over to the bus stop. The bus just arrived so I started to walk a little faster. A boy ran out of the bus, straight into my direction. Just as I was about to enter the bus, named boy pulled me by my arm and the bus took off.

I stare at the concrete where the bus used to halt just a moment ago. I feel the grip on my arm still existent and I take a deep breath before I swing my arm back to make the stranger let go of me. ''What the hell was that for!'' I turned abruptly and screamed into his face.

He was still trying to catch his breath, attempting to explain that my friends' phone died and couldn't get in touch with me because of it. After listening for ten minutes to all the reasons why she (and her other friends) won't be able to come, the boy apologized to me. ''Oh and my name is Jaemin, by the way.''

I raised an eyebrow and cleared my throat. "Alright, Jaemin. I'm y/n.''

He shot me an adorable smile that melted me deep to the core. ''I like making new friends, let's go! We can get to know each other better and have fun by ourselves. And we can make the rest of them jealous when we tell them how much fun we had.'' He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the entry.

Jaemin's optimistic attitude rubs off quite a bit and I became expectant about today again. I took out my coupon and the cashier gave me a ticket for the park in return.

''Have you been here before?'' Jaemin asked me. I shook my head no in response.

''Okay, I can show you around, I know where all the fun stuff is at. Been here a few times already.'' I laughed a little. ''Show me the fun stuff then sir'' I answered in a funny voice.

Jaemin grinned widely. ''I already see we're gonna get along well.'' With that, we went to the first attraction. It was a roller coaster with about a million loops and my stomach was SO not ready for it. But who am I to be a party pooper.

We waited in line while I fiddled around with my hands. ''Are you scared?'' Jaemin asked, smirking at me.

''What? ME? Scared? Never.'' I huffed. Jaemin just shrugged and laughed.

''Tell me about yourself. I want to know more about you'' he inquired. ''How old are you?''

''I'm 18, what about you?'' - ''Same'' Jaemin answered.

''Your voice is very soothing'' I remarked while stepping forward in line. ''Thanks a lot'' Jaemin acknowledged with a small nod. ''I hear this a lot.''

''What kind of music do you listen to?'' I expectantly stared at him. Jaemin pulled out his phone from his back pocket and opened the music player app. He then gave me his phone and told me to look through his music library by myself since it's a mix of everything and can't be put into one genre or two. And he was right. I handed him his phone back. ''Wow. You have great taste in music. Mine is pretty much the same but there are quite a few songs that I haven't heard yet.” Jaemin stuffed his phone into his pocket again and put his hand on my back to carefully push me forward since I didn't realize that the line moved further. His hands are... really big. And strong.

I let out a kind of shaky breath, not sure if it's because of him or out of anticipation for the ride but Jaemin noticed. ''Are you cold?'' He started taking off his black, stonewashed denim jacket, but I stopped him. ''N-no, no! I'm good, promise." He stared at me blankly. "Really Jaemin, I'm fine." I smile at him. It takes him a moment until he starts pulling his jacket back up and he smiled back at me.

Eventually, it was our turn to take a seat on the roller coaster and suddenly I wasn't too confident anymore. Just as I was about to ask Jaemin if we could get off and go somewhere else, he grabbed my hand and linked out fingers. "Just scream it all out, nobody will judge you. Also, it's very relieving. I was scared too when I went on this thing for the first time." My eyes met his and the sincerity and innocence in his eyes calmed me down right away. "If anyone asks, this was your idea,'' I warn him.

Suddenly the roller coaster takes off and starts climbing up the rails. My heartbeat gets faster the nearer we get to the highest point and my palms start to get sweaty. I let go of Jaemin's hand and wipe the sweat of my hands off on my thighs. Before I can look to the front again, the wagon starts going down the rails at an acceptable speed. The first loop is right ahead of us and I look over at Jaemin. He enjoys himself and laughs while I hysterically scream for my life. I notice his cute eye smile and for a second it felt like the world stopped. He looks over at me and laughs. I snap out of my hazy state and realize that I stopped screaming and that we've passed two loops already.

The other few loops made me scream my lungs out again. The ride starts to go slower and we are back at the starting point. Unsteadily, I leave the ride and stumble over my own feet. I manage to get a grip on Jaemin's shoulder and he starts making fun of me, mocking the way I screamed just a minute ago. "Well, that was fun, right?"

"Mh, it was for sure" I mumbled. "Can we go grab some food and drinks please, I need it." He agreed with me and we got some fries and a big bottle of water. We sat on a bench and watched the people who went past us. Many people were taking photos together or of each other, a lot of kids were running around and laughing and everyone looked like they were enjoying themselves. The sky was a pretty peachy color and the clouds looked like cotton candy.

"You're smiling. What are you thinking of?'' Jaemin asked. "Nothing. I just really enjoy your company right now. You’re so easy to talk to” I stated. We both finished our fries at the same time and threw the trash into the bin next to the bench. I got up and stretched a little. I noticed Jaemin staring at me, yet I couldn't read his face. Suddenly I felt uneasy and thought I had some food stuck in the corner of my mouth and wiped my mouth real quick. To break the silence, I asked him: "Where to next?''

It took him a moment to respond until the persistent smile of his showed up again. "You decide. I've been on every ride here yet."

I look around for anything that looks interesting to me when I suddenly spot a big, illuminated circle, not too far from us. I get excited and let Jaemin know that I want to go to the Ferris wheel. “You’re so cute when you’re excited" Jaemin blurted out and looked as shocked as I did as soon as those words left his mouth. I quietly thanked him and we made our way over to the Ferris wheel.

Jaemin and I enter the cabin and sit down next to each other, leaving enough room for the people behind us to sit in here as well but the worker closed the door and winked at us. Awkward. Jaemin giggled. "He probably thinks we are dating." I nodded.

"Are you comfortable? Do you want me to sit facing you?" Jaemin worried a little. "No, it's fine" I reassured him with a gentle smile. I stare at the scenery outside. It's dark already and you can see half the city from up here. "Hey y/n, let's take a selfie?" I scoot closer to him and smile into the camera. He shoots a few pictures when I suddenly have a weird feeling in my nose and sneeze. "Oh. My. God. Please delete those. No, wait, I want to delete them, just to make sure.'' Jaemin hesitates a little but ends up handing me his phone. I cringe as I delete the pictures he happened to take while I sneezed and admired the only good shot of us. "Can you send me this one please, remind me to give you my number later." Jaemin nodded in agreement.

I continue swiping and look at the other pictures of us. I panic as I swiped one picture too far and apologize to Jaemin. Just as I was about to give him his phone back, I stopped for a second and swiped back to that one picture I accidentally opened. It was a picture of me looking at the pretty lights of the city. I look over at him with questioning eyes and I had no idea what to say. Jaemin broke the silence and quietly said: "You looked stunning in that lighting. I just had to." We both awkwardly looked at each other before he hesitantly said: "I-I can delete it! See, I just-" he pressed on the little trash bin in the corner of his screen but I locked his phone before he could press the button. "It's okay, you can keep it. Send that to me as well, please. You take great photos." His face was full of confusion as I smiled and took his phone from him to take pictures of him as well.

Our cabin was at the very top now and we looked outside to enjoy the view. The awkward silence from earlier became a comfortable one. I start to think of all the stuff that we had done today and decide to keep meeting Jaemin from time to time, he is very fun to be around. And he makes me feel some weird things, but I need to push these feelings away. Isn't it weird to feel like that when I met him just a few hours ago?

"Can you keep a secret?"

I look over at him, a little startled by his sudden question. "Sure" I let him know. He shyly looks down at his shoes and starts kicking a little stone around. "I had a lot of fun today and" he pauses a bit, "and maybe you think I'm a little weird. That's because I have no idea at all how to deal with people around my age. You know, I've been very sick for some time and had to spend my time at the hospital from one examination room to another. Uh, don't worry, I'm all healthy now, but all the persons I've met were always either a lot older or a lot younger than me. I never had any good friends and the people that we were supposed to meet up with today probably made excuses so they could avoid me. That's what people usually do and.. I just wanted to say thank you. For giving me a great time today. You probably don't want to ever meet me again but just know that you made a sad boy happy for a day.'' He adds a nervous laugh and avoids looking at me again.

I stare at him for a long time. My knees are weak and my heart feels heavy. "Jaemin, I had a lot of fun with you today, too. Please don't feel this way about me, I actually think you're a very funny guy and honestly, those people aren't worth your company. I don't know the last time when I had this much fun." My heart races a lot and I wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it. "You're.. a VERY nice person actually. And I like you a lot." I quickly added the last part, hoping he would ignore it, but instead, he looked into my eyes directly, not daring to blink for even once.

"I'm glad to hear that." He plainly answered and went back to his relaxed self and smiled at me. "Oh, look, we have to get out now." He left the cabin as I felt the tension leave me for just a little. I may be getting a migraine.

He kept walking ahead, not waiting for me to get out of the cabin. I call after him as he starts to walk faster but he ignores me. I run, trying to catch up to him. He notices and starts running too, wanting to go through the exit. He couldn't find his ticket to scan and leave the amusement park, which gave me enough time to reach him.

He hastily rummages through his pockets, nervously looking around as he sees me coming closer. I grab his wrist and he turns his back to me. "Jaemin, what the hell! Are you trying to run away from me?" He ignored me, unfolding his ticket which just fell out of the left pocket of his jacket. His hand reaches to hold the little piece of paper over the scanner as I hold my hand in front of the little red light.

"Talk to me, why are you like this now? Don't do this please." Jaemin sighed and dropped his ticket to the ground.

"Because."

"Because of what?" I question vigorously.

"Because I don't want to creep you out, that's why!" he screamed at me. "Jaemin, are you for real right now? I told you just a few minutes ago that I enjoyed today with you and that you are in fact not a creep at all to me!"

"That's not what I meant" he angrily mumbled. He picks up his ticket off the ground and turns around again. I grab his wrist and ask him one more time. "Jaemin, talk to me! Where is the problem!" He paused all his movements. I realize that I started to raise my voice and suddenly regret it. I let go of his wrist. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. You probably need some time for yourself now."

I wait for a response but all that I can see is Jaemins heavy breathing, making his shoulders rise and fall a tiny bit. I mumble a 'get home safely' as I turn around to buy myself some cotton candy to calm down. After a few meters, I look back to see if he is still standing there, which he indeed is. We look at each other for a few seconds before I continue walking to the little cotton candy kiosk. "Maybe that's why they want to avoid him. What a mood killer." I whispered to myself and sighed heavily.

Just then, I hear him calling my name. Confused, I turn around to see him finding his way between all the people, trying to catch up to me.

“Y/N, wait!” he tries to catch his breath. “Okay, I get it, I'm a douche. Let me make it up to you, please?” he waited for any kind of reaction for me, studying every movement of mine.

He probably noticed how skeptical I was. “And how do you plan to do that?” Jaemin looked at me for some time until he thought of something. “I got it! You wanted to give me your number anyway, because of the pictures you know? We can go grab a cup of coffee and get some breakfast tomorrow, I mean if you wanna.. And I'll pay for it all!”

I nodded in agreement and he let out a relieved sigh. He wasn't as stiff anymore and we quickly exchanged numbers. After that, we agreed to go home and conveniently, he didn't live too far from me so I let him know that he could just show up around 8 at my house so he didn't need it call.

Jaemin insisted on walking me all the way to my front door. The whole ride with the bus was quiet and I'm not sure yet if it was an awkward or comfortable silence. It was something in between. It was comfortable when neither of us tried to talk but when one of us did, it went awkward in the blink of an eye. So we both stayed quiet.

I opened the front door and halted for a moment. I turned around to face Jaemin and saw him looking around the porch, teetering around. He looked at me, yet none of us knew what to say and we both obviously felt uncomfortable. I don't know what to do right now like I could hug him and say 'see you tomorrow' but I don't think we are close enough to hug yet. I also can't just say 'bye' because that would be kinda rude but I also can't give him like a bro fist or shake his hand or whatever.

I decided to wave at him and mumbled a shy 'goodnight', not sure if that was the right way to handle this situation. Jaemin stopped looking everywhere but my face and waved back, telling me goodnight as well before he went to walk a few streets down to his own house.

As I kick off my shoes, I accidentally hit a vase with umbrellas in it and groaned as I had to pick up all of them AGAIN. I will never learn out of my actions, this happens every time, yet I still do it. It's time for a change.

I didn't wear a jacket today because the temperature was decently hot for once and I am completely fine with it. I let myself fall onto the sofa and grab the tv remote. I hold it in my hand for a few seconds and stare at the colored buttons, realizing that I didn't really feel like watching tv. So I forced myself to stand up and lay down in my bed instead. I am also way too lazy to change into my pajamas, I'm just wearing a simple t-shirt and leggings anyways.

I reach over to the nightstand on the right side of my bed to turn on the bluetooth speaker and connect my phone to it. As I go through my music library, I notice that I also don't feel like listening to upbeat happy music, I needed to relax. Suddenly I remember a song title that I saw on Jaemin's phone and he told me that it was a song that he listened to whenever he couldn't sleep or just felt like he needed some rest.

For whatever reason, this particular song title burned itself into my memory, pleading me to listen to it. I tap on the little magnifier and type in “Can't help falling in love with you”.

I never listened to any Elvis songs before because it's not my type of music at all and I'm kind of surprised that Jaemin listens to it that often, but he did tell me that his choice of music is just everything and anything and very random. I added the song to my chill playlist and put it on shuffle. Eventually, I fell asleep.

The next morning

I roll out of bed, realizing that I forgot to set the alarm clock on my phone. Jaemin has been ringing the doorbell for the past 7 minutes now and its starting to get on my nerves. I open my bedroom window and shout. “Give me ten minutes I'll be right there.''

I stretch and yawn widely. While slurring my way over to the bathroom I open the wardrobe and pull out a pair of black skinny jeans and a pink hoodie. I kick open the bathroom door, brush my teeth and put my hair up in a bun. I add light makeup to my face to not look as dead as I feel on the inside and change into the clothes that I just picked out.

I leave everything laying around as it is, deciding to clean up the whole house later since I didn't have any other plans anyways.

''Shit, keys.. keys, where are my keys?'' I check the little bowl on the shelf next to the door. Found them. I open the door and Jaemin's doe-like eyes meet mine. His eyes are very pretty, I love how round they are.

"Good morning to you, sleepy head'' he teases. "Thanks for abusing the doorbell'' I laugh. "Just so you know, I heard it the first time. And all the other twenty times, too.'' Jaemin shrugs, pulling his shoulders up in an exaggerated way. "Let's goooo'' he chirps.

After a five minute long walk filled with some small talk, we finally arrived at the café. The weather is nice today, so we decided to sit outside. A waitress was quick to come and take our orders. I take out my phone and start searching for something.

"Jaemin. I listened to a song yesterday but I forgot the name of it.'' Jaemin looks at me. "And? Do you expect me to read your mind and find out which song it was or?" he laughs. "No, but I thought you might know which one I mean. It's slow and calm and you said you listen to it when you can't sleep or need to relax. And my phone played on shuffle all night so I can't find it in the play history right now" I groan and stuff my phone into one of the back pockets of my jeans. "Sorry to disappoint but there are millions of songs like that. Don't you remember who sang it?" he queried. I shook my head no. "Nothing.'' Jaemin sighed. "Then I can't tell you, maybe you'll randomly come across it at some point? Who knows."

The waitress placed down a plate in front of each of us. Jaemin ordered waffles for us. On it, there are little slices of banana, strawberries, and blueberries with some confectioners sugar on top of it all.

"Wow, that looks really good. Do you always order this when you come here?" Jaemin shakes his head. "First time getting this, actually. Surprise?" he grins. We both knew that now was not the time for words. The waitress brought the rosehip tea that I had ordered. I thanked her and continued eating the waffle. "Okay, I LOVE fruit. I will never get people who don't." Jaemin laughed. "I actually have a friend that doesn't only hate fruit but he's scared of them. Don't ask me why though, he's never told me."

I looked at him in disbelief. "You're shitting on me right now. Scared? Like, an actual phobia?" Jaemin nods, which made me snicker. "Good to know, I guess." It didn't take long for us to finish our waffles, but it was definitely more than enough to appease our hunger. "I'm so full'' I lean back in the little beige wicker chair, rubbing my tummy. "My everything. I love my food baby. His name is Nugget." Jaemin laughs. "Greetings, fellow chicken nugget lover."

The wind softly blows through my hair and I close my eyes. I notice the music quietly playing, coming out of the café. I start humming along to it. Jaemin joins in and also sings a little. I open my eyes and sit up straight again. "I don't know the lyrics" I pouted. "But I heard this somewhere, it seems familiar."

The waitress serving us came back to us and Jaemin paid. We decided to sit there a little longer since the two of us didn't have much to do afterward.

"Do you play any instruments?" I ask Jaemin. "Don't be surprised, but I actually know how to play the piano pretty well." My eyes lit up at that. "Please teach me some time! I've always wanted to learn how to play the piano ever since I was little, but my family couldn't afford it and now I kinda gave up." Jaemin gave me a soft smile. "It's never too late to learn something new. I'll gladly teach you someday, just let me know when you feel like it, I have a lot of time."

The wind starts blowing a little harder and the cherry blossoms start flying around everywhere. I take out my phone and try taking a picture, but the sun is too bright, so the petals are not visible. I sigh and put my phone back. "I love photography" I inform Jaemin, but he seemed like he wasn't really paying attention to what I said.

"Y/N" he murmured. I waited for him to continue. "I hate to bring this up, but about yesterday, I-" - "No, no, no, it's okay." I interrupted him. "It's fine." "No, you deserve an answer and I wanted to tell you anyways." Jaemin waited for my response. "Okay then, if it makes you feel better, go on." I expectantly answered

"Okay but, can we, like, talk about it on our way home? I don't want to talk about it here." Jaemin interrogates. I nod and get up from the little chair. "Let's go this way, it might take a little longer but we can stay at the park for a little" he suggests, to which I agreed.

"Hear me out" he pleads. "Promise not to get mad at me, okay?" I didn't answer. He stared at me with hopeful eyes, so I gave in and promised not to get mad. "Uh, yesterday. I was confused." "You were confused," I repeated. "Yes." "Okay and why? Did I give you the feeling that I didn't enjoy spending my time with you or-"

"No, oh my god, no. No, not at all. I confused myself. Sometimes I feel more comfortable with people than they feel with me. Like I consider everyone my friend, but they are surprised as soon as I call them my friend. And I felt a little different this time. A little more, I don't know. I never felt THIS comfortable or wanted. Listen, don't get mad just yet, you promised me you wouldn't. I know it's weird to tell you this after a day, but I like you... A lot?"

I didn't know what to say, but my face went very hot and I was flustered. "Jaemin, I uh... Thank you for telling me. I have to go now." I turned around on the spot and went home, walking fast.

I feel like such an asshole. He just pretty much confessed to me and I leave him like this. I feel a tear running down my cheeks, feeling very guilty for trying to escape the situation and probably breaking his heart. I let myself fall down to sit on the bench and cry a little. I turn my head to see him standing in the same position before I left, feeling my heart break a little more.

I wipe my cheek before I decide to go back.

Whenever someone confessed to me, I always ended up running away the second after. I hate building up close relationships with people because I'm always expecting to get disappointed.

It's time for a change.

I get off the bench and go back to Jaemin. Surprisingly enough, he smiles at me. "You're still the same.''

My breath gets stuck in my throat and I look up at him. "What do you mean" I choked.

"What I said."

Now I'm even more confused. What does he want from me? What does he mean? What does he know about me to be able to say I didn't change?

Jaemin takes my hand and I quietly let him, wiping my tears with my other hand. I have no idea where he's taking me but I guess I have no other chance than to follow him now, I can't run away again. I trust him. The warmth of his hand sends off a feeling of faith.

He takes a left turn and the surroundings seem familiar to me. We cross the street and my breathing calms down a little at the sight of the schoolyards of my elementary school.

I feel nostalgic looking around. Most things look just like they did back then. The swings are new though, but the basketball hoop, the seesaws, and the jungle gym are still the same. I feel at ease when I spot the apple tree next to the playground. There was a saying at this school. Whoever attached their confession letter to this tree with a red string and took their beloved one to see would have a 100% chance of their crush returning their feelings. The teachers always helped to fix the letters up there. After confessing, the one who got confessed to had to take the letter home and give their admirer an answer the next day.

Jaemin sat down and leaned against the tree and I copied his movements. "I went to this school when I was small. Do you know the myth of this tree?" I broke the silence.

Jaemin nodded. "Did someone ever confess to you here? I mean, before me?" he asked.

I thought about it for a moment. "I hardly remember a boy in third grade confessing to me. I felt sick when he confessed and ran to the toilet" I laugh. "When I came back, he was long gone already and so was the letter. I wanted to apologize because I was nervous, but even after that I never saw him at school anymore and I didn't even know his name."

Jaemin laughed. "Nana." I raise my eyebrows in surprise. "What did you say?"

"Nana" he repeated. He took out a neatly folded piece of paper. "I went to the hospital that day. I haven't told you my name back then but you called me Nana" he gave the little piece of paper to me, "and you promised to Chenle that you would let me know when we meet again." I stared at the little piece of paper in my hand. I remember this.

"I took great care of it. Also, yesterday, they didn't come on purpose. It was all set up right from the start and uh, I'm sorry that I arrived so late." Jaemin nervously chuckled.

I am having a hard time to believe him but everything adds up pretty well. Yesterday he mentioned he stayed at a hospital and that would also explain why I never saw him again in elementary school.

"How long have you been in the hospital for?" I carefully and quietly asked. "I had to live there for almost two years and after that, I had to do check-ups every other week." Jaemin smiled at me.

He got up and reached his hand out for me to take. He helped me get up and I was still so confused.

"So that's what it was about? That's what you turned your back on me for yesterday? Because you couldn't tell me you were still waiting for me to answer?"

He panics for a moment. "I-I mean, you were, I, uh, you are, my first love and, at the hospital, there weren't many girls and, I, just, had, you, in, my, mind, it's weird, nevermind, forget everything please, I beg you."

“You idiot, I like you too” I giggle. Jaemin sighs in relief. “So you're not creeped out by me?"

“Stop rambling. Trust me, it's okay, I feel like we caught up on all the years today and yesterday'' I reassure him.

He takes a step closer to me and cups my face in his hands. His thumb brushes over my cheek and he stares at my face as I stare at his. A second later I feel his soft lips on mine and I notice that both of our hearts beat very fast, in the same rhythm.

He breaks the kiss and a look of regret crept its way up to his face. I hid my face in my hands and giggled a little.

"I'm sorry, is it too early to be kissing you already?" Jaemin asks.

"It's fine. Oh, by the way! I can't help falling in love with you" I sang, cringing a little about the way I let him know that I remembered the song.

"So that was the song you were trying to remember? It played at the café this morning" he chuckled.

"I know, I just realized. Wow.. aren't we corny as hell" I laughed.

"Yes, we definitely are, but that's okay."