You know war of the rohirrim was bad when I see this in B&N and still don't buy it.
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@irrelevant-insect
You know war of the rohirrim was bad when I see this in B&N and still don't buy it.
Personally I will never understand people with an OTP or who only read fics with the same pairing for a character
I have read every ship under the sun and there are some I definitely prefer but ultimately I will read whatever the hell you put in front of me, *if* you can justify it.
I don't mean necessarily justifying it within canon, though I love it when you can. Like Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield in the hobbit movies or Remus Lupin/Sirius Black. It's so gay. So ridiculously gay. And in both cases, the actors *knew* how gay it looked.
What i mean is, are you just mashing them together for the smut or did you actually think about it?
If you can write a *good* Dolores Umbridge/Filius Flitwick or some shit, you better believe I'm reading. I will try any tag and any ship once.
Idk I just don't get why some people are so strict about it maybe i'm misunderstanding
I need a fic where the fellowship is talking and sharing stories one evening and somehow get into comparing each other's ages and realize that the baby of the group isn't Pippin, it's LEGOLAS.
Everyone talks about how much stress and anxiety OCD can cause, but I don't hear enough talk about the fear.
Because holy shit, living with OCD can be really scary.
OCD is such a mindfuck and sometimes you feel trapped in a situation and it's hard not to start freaking out.
I have contamination ocd and I'm getting better (I think) but a really common issue for me used to be being touched without permission, because in the moment it's hard to sanitize what was touched or do whatever else the compulsion wants from me without looking crazy. And especially if I was already having a stressful day, my brain likes to go into full panic mode.
And then you can't go to anyone who can help you through it because your ocd is preventing it, or because you know they won't understand, or just because there's nobody there. So all you can do is try to convince yourself that you're safe
ocd sucks, guys.
Not enough people talk about how funny it is when you're reading fanfiction and it suddenly becomes glaringly obvious that the author has a specialized interest in a very niche subject. It's like another flavor of self insert.
I bet it feels real good to be a sailing ship when they tighten the rigging
wrong. everyone get more perverted about marine vessels now and I'm not kidding
this post reaching Actual Ship Captains is beyond delightful holy moly
If the beatles got their movie
can I be someones babygirl please can you just tuck me in your arms and rub my back and kiss my forehead and murmur gentle words and tell me how safe I am until I fall asleep
please can I just have a warm body to rest against
Give me needle-phobic whumpees!
Give me Doctor!Caretaker needing to start an IV on Whumpee and they are Not Having It.
Caretaker having Whumpee lay semi-reclined in case whumpee decides to faint on them.
Caretaker calmly explaining every step of the procedure, why each part is necessary, and what it will feel like/which parts will hurt so there aren't any surprises.
Caretaker warning Whumpee before they tie the tourniquet, disinfect the area, etc.
Whumpee's breathing and heart rate spiking and Caretaker pausing to reassure them. "Hey, I've got you. It's just me, love. Close your eyes, don't try to look."
Caretaker gently easing the needle in and Whumpee crying out but trying so hard to hold still. Caretaker murmuring that it's okay, you're doing great, this will help you feel better.
Caretaker finishing as quickly as they can and dressing the site before disposing of the needle, releasing the tourniquet, and taking off their gloves. Caretaker stroking their hair and telling Whumpee it's over and that they're so proud of them and reassuring Whumpee that the needle is gone, it's just a tiny piece of plastic still there.
love how much of Aragorn’s initial interactions with the hobbits is just telling them not to say things
aragorn: could you stop casually invoking the dread name of the ancient and terrible evil that even now follows at our very heels for FIVE MINUTES
aragorn: hey I gotta take a breather can you take over the hobbit duties for a bit
gandalf: no worries got you covered
Aragorn’s given up
elrond: hey you can’t say that here
gandalf: you can’t tell me what to say, do I look like a hobbit to you
The film repositions this for comedy, but in Return of the King, there’s this scene:
Gandalf, outside the door: oh hang on, just a sec. for reasons I won’t explain; this is about to get super geopolitical. Try not to spill too many beans in front of Denethor.
Pippin: Do I have that many of them?
Denethor: right, you ignorant child! Under my skilled interrogation I shall force you to spill the beans.
Pippin: I know three things about beans and will share them (under skilled interrogation, discourses for a full hour on beans, the preparation thereof, the cultivation thereof, and the Shire’s various thoughts on beans in general)
Gandalf: (pretends to be annoyed) denethor if you wanted SENSIBLE discourse on geopolitical beans I am RIGHT HERE
Denethor, fascinated: no! I already know everything you’re about to say and I’m NOT accepting criticism at this time. And I genuinely have no idea what this guy’s going to say next - do you have ANY idea how fun that is for me
Pippin: now the classic market share of baked beans inna tin belongs to Heinz, but I myself am a Branston man, because - referencing my previous statements - if you want beans, you do NOT need to faff about with a tin opener. The decision to retain the pop-top -
Gandalf: this is unbelievable. denethor, can we -
Denethor: BZT! âś‹ let him cook
(Later)
Pippin: are you mad at me for talking about beans for an hour
Gandalf: it was, in a weird way, the best move on the chessboard, and so politically savvy that it furthered three of my agendas, and was also really funny to listen to. Denethor has the long sight; he is accustomed to reading the minds and hearts of men at a long distance, these long years. Actually, maybe this has jaded him as much as anything else. To meet a mind whose umwelt, whose very nature, he has not already fully plumbed is not just an act of political obfuscation on our part; for Denethor himself, could such fresh provocation burst his stagnant social bubble, and save him from being so terminally fucking online? Might we have uncovered the potential of a Theoden thematic parallel? Much to ponder. The only unfortunate bit was that you kept freezing up and looking guilty when Denethor asked you about containers
Pippin: you said not to spill any beans and I was worried he’d trip me up
Gandalf: it is, as ever, like talking to a fucking genie with you people
The WAY I’M LAUGHING CRYING AT THIS. THE BEANS. THE FUCKING BEEANS. DAYMN.
Sometimes I roll myself up super tight in the covers like a fruit roll up and the pressure feels so nice and I feel like I can breathe
My bed has a little remote that moves the front if it up and down, raising and lowering the mattress. When I first got the bed I found a nice position just slightly raised and it stayed that way. I moved houses and the remote was unplugged from the bed. Naturally, it was lost. Four years later the remote is found, and I hook it up. Naturally, the first thing on my mind was How High Does It Go. Once I'd had my fun and enjoyed the novelty of it again, I put it flat all the way and laid down.
Except, I hadn't been sleeping with it flat. I'd been sleeping with it slightly raised in the perfect position for four years.
And now I cant find the exact perfect position again.
My early years weren't that bad but were just bad enough that I remember something new every so often and go "huh. In hindsight that was sorta fucked up."
The correct way to shower after school, from someone with severe OCD
Push the shower door open with your leg.
Turn the water on. Touch only the underside of the handle, that's the side for dirty hands.
While the water gets hot, quickly undress and put your clothes in the laundry basket.
Go back into the bathroom and close the door with your foot, don't touch the handle on the inside. Lock it.
At this point the shower is just barely warm enough to not cringe when getting in. Good, you didn't waste too much water waiting for it to get warm. Get in, leave the shower door open a bit so everything doesnt steam so much.
On the shelf are a few things: shampoo, conditioner, acne wash, body wash, and two bottles of soap.
The soap bottle on the right is dirty, the one on the left is clean.
Wash your hands a few times with the dirty soap until it feels right. Depending on what you've been doing that day it could be just once or twice, it could be 10 times.
Turn the shower head to its jet setting to clean the nasties between thighs, especially when on your period. Wash your hands.
Once you've done that, you're done with the dirty bottle. wash your now clean hands once more with the clean soap bottle -there so that clean hands dont have to touch a pump thats been contaminated with dirty hands- for good measure.
Then, make sure your hair is fully wet and then get some of the clean soap and rub it into your hair. Wash it out. The rest of the shower is working from the top down.
Wet your face and then get a pump of soap from the clean bottle and wash your face.
Use the acne wash on your face.
If your hair is dirty, this is when to use shampoo and conditioner.
For your torso and arms, on a day where you haven't touched anything particularly gross or gotten sweaty you can probably convince yourself that body wash will suffice, and clean yourself with that. If not, use soap from the clean bottle. Clean your torso first, then one arm (shoulder and underarm to wrist) and then the other.
More clean soap. One leg at a time, scrub from thigh to ankle.
Wash your hands with clean soap for good measure.
Turn the water off, only touching the clean side of the handle. Wring your hair out.
Use a bit of toilet paper to dry between your legs so gross water doesn't drip.
Open the bathroom door (the handle is clean!) with the hand that didnt touch the toilet paper.
Put on your underwear using the fingers that didn't touch the toilet paper and then wash your hands again.
Dry hair with towel and put on bathrobe or pajamas.
Congratulations! You now feel clean enough to chill in your room.
more than anything I hope that when i'm on my deathbed and taking my final breaths, i will have done enough that someone will be there holding my hand.
I need a fanfiction where it's picture day at hogwarts. All the teachers and all the students, and its chaos.
A handwash that in my opinion is insufficient for anything that requires soap and water and that I would need to go back and re-do until its a proper handwash is the same handwash that someone uses when they just changed a tampon and that is why I dont let anyone touch me