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@irrelevant13
update for anyone who cares
i’m still transmed im just busy with school and don’t have time for tumblr anymore. i'm currently working off-and-on on a long essay about why dysphoria is needed to be trans though so i’ll definitely post that when its done but other than that i don’t really have much to post i stopped engaging with inclus content for the most part after a pretty bad twitter incident lol.
vent because i dont want to bother anyone ik.
My best friend forgot my birthday, my dad said he was going to take half the day off so he could spend it with me and then just didn't, and to top it all off my fucking siblings ate the rest of my cake. There were only four pieces cut out so there was almost a whole fucking cake left and these two decided they were just going to take the entire rest of it. I literally fucking hate it here.
reminder that transphobia towards trans men also exists and joking about hating trans men is transphobic
storm ryan annoys me so much
he’s such a self righteous asshole I cant believe i actually used to enjoy his content. he litteraly just told someone to detransition because they said they wanted to be cis. and then the idiots in his replies are like “they hate on neopronouns so they deserve it”
Gender envy is literally so annoying. (Vent/rant)
I cant even watch my favorite male youtubers anymore because I spend the whole video thinking about how badly I want to look like them and comparing myself to them. and then I get even more upset because I don't look like them and probably never will.
words cannot describe how much i loathe this fucking emoji
thank you so much apple, transmen definitely wanted to be reminded that we have the wrong anatomy.
I think it’s massively transphobic to say that “pronouns are made up” or “pronouns dont equal gender” because it gives people full rights just to think people are using this language as an accessory. It’s not “just words” and it’s not an accessory, it’s a piece of language that describes how your gender is to be perceived and I’m sick of people just fucking erasing meanings of words because it erases every bout of progress we have made.
So no, you’re not a he/him lesbian, you’re a deeply insecure person who needs to tack on identity descriptors for fun and fashion points without thinking of the deeply internally lesbophobic and transphobic connotations it has. Either suck it up and admit you’re now a straight man or be a gnc woman. You’re making yourself look like a clown.
shut THE FUCK up, biphobe
they act like being bisexual is a disease with how mad they are about it
its unbelievable how every time they confirm a bisexual character people jump up and say that its a "safer choice". I've seen gay men saying that, I've seen lesbians saying that, and now pansexuals too. Like at this point just say you don't consider bisexuality to be ~queer enough~ and you don't want us to get representation
Y'all could have complained about how they didn't even bother to say the word bisexual out loud on screen and instead left it so vague and easy to ignore but no. You had to complain that its bi rep and not pan rep. Fuck off with your biphobia
"nothing against bi people but"-
nah bro its something against bi people lmao
"We have less rep so i've decided he's pansexual" FUCK you, FUCK you, and most importantly FUCK YOU for this post. This is basically the blackwashing argument all over again. If you want fucking rep don't change characters to meet your requirements. Get actual pansexual characters instead/create your own, stop erasing our rep instead. You love to shout bi pan solidarity until bisexuals actually get something good for once, then you fucking steal it. And a very last fuck you for implying bisexual is the "pussy out" option. I hope you bite your tongue every time you eat a meal.
saying that a sexuality is valid means nothing tbh. validity isn’t what makes a sexuality “right” or “okay”.
we need to, instead, think critically about why new sexualities are popping up. instead of seeking for validity, ask yourself, does my sexuality fit under the definition of another existing sexuality? it’s almost impossible to negatively respond to that. furthermore, if you do fit under another sexuality, ask yourself, why do i need a special sexuality just for myself?
the sexualities in the LGBT community are lesbian, gay, and bi, with the added identity of trans. there is no need for microlabels–because the LGBT community exists as a way to push back against oppression and as a place for support, not as a cool kids club. microlabels, and using LGBT as “umbrella” terms, divides the community. it puts each other at odds because inevitably, most of those microlabels are incredibly harmful. some are even inherently harmful because of their lesbophobic, homophobic, biphobic, and transphobic roots. these chasms between members of the community make it so much easier for oppression to seep in, and for real activism to never happen. you can’t change the world outside the community if there are people inside the community that are tearing it apart–whether they’re doing it actively, or whether it’s just a byproduct of their embracing of microlabels.
lesbians, gay men, bis, and trans people are not a hivemind. they are all independent people with independent thoughts and actions and experiences. just because you don’t fit with tumblr’s “aesthetic” of one of these does not mean you’re a different sexuality altogether. it just means that you are different than the stereotype. which, honestly, is good. refusing to engage in stereotypes, refuting stereotypes, and being your own person is good, especially because many of those stereotypes exist as a result of negative outside influences.
so instead of thinking of sexualities in terms of validity, please try to ask yourself other questions such as: why am i so attached to a (probably harmful) microlabel? what stereotypes do i believe that are causing me to try to distance myself from an “umbrella” term? are there prejudices, even internalized ones, that are preventing me from using an “umbrella” term? is my microlabel more important than the community’s ability to band together to fight oppression? is my microlabel more important than the “umbrella” terms that are beginning to be destroyed because of those microlabels? how much help is my microlabel lending to the LGBT community? how much harm is it causing?
saying that a microlabel is valid means nothing. it helps no one, and after so many years of blind inclusion, is now actively harming many, many people. there’s nothing shameful in setting aside a microlabel to join the community in full. in fact, we’re here to welcome you in with open arms. we’re a community, and the more we band together into one cohesive unit, the more good we will be able to accomplish.
don’t let validity get in the way of LGBT rights. stand beside us–don’t make us fight a war on two fronts, please.
I still cant believe ICE had the fucking audacity to tweet something about “happy pride” like stfu literally nobody asked.
boy lesbians <3
there are nonbinary people who use the term "boy" to describe themselves, but aren't men! read the notes lmao
Then they need to make up their minds bc boys aren't nonbinary
Do yall understand what words mean at all
Lesbians (homosexual *women*) also aren't nonbinary. The entire OP is a trainwreck in action
Honestly at this point can you guys just say you want “lesbian” to lose all meaning, and that you hate the thought of homosexual women having something to ourselves, and the thought of homosexual women saying “no” to you? Oh, and that you want lesbianism (see; gay women) to not be woman exclusive.
Because it sounds like that’s what you’re trying to say. You make it so clear that you hate gay women and what lesbianism is without saying it. So just say it next time for transparency.
Now that Ponk has put in her twitter bio that they use all pronouns, I better see the same energy and support towards him as all of the white gays in this fandom give to Eret. Being a POC on the internet is hard, and being a nonbinary POC is probably difficult in a way few of us can understand. I’m so proud of them for coming out and living their truth, and we as a community need to show her our love
!!!!!
yes to all of this but for the love of god can people please try to stick to one set of pronouns per post or at the very least per sentence? my eyes are crossing, I have too much adhd for this. I promise you it is possible to support genderqueer people without switching pronouns every other word
Why pansexuality is inherently problematic
The most common definitions of pansexuality are:
1. “Attraction to men, women and trans people”
2. “Attraction to men, women and NB people”
3. “Attraction to all genders”
4. “Attraction regardless of gender”
5. “Attraction to people’s personalities”
First definition: transphobic as shit, full stop. Trans people are either men or women, acting as if they are a third gender that only pansexuals can be attracted to is gross.
Second definition: biphobic and nonsensical. Its biphobic because bisexuality never, ever excluded nonbinary people and it takes two seconds to look at bi history to understand that.
There’s also the fact that everyone can be attracted to nonbinary people. Yes, even straights. Wanna know why?
Because nonbinary people don’t have a set of physical characteristics that immediately tells you that they’re nonbinary. They look exactly like any other binary man or woman. Yes, some of them may be androgynous, but there are plenty of non androgynous nonbinary people and plenty of androgynous binary people.
So if they look exactly like men and women, how am I supposed to not feel any attraction to them? How am I supposed to exclude from my attraction a whole group of people that look wildly different from one another? Hell, how am I supposed to even recognize a nonbinary person without them telling me?
It just doesn’t work like that. Liam Hemsworth is not suddenly pansexual because he dated Miley Cyrus who is nonbinary but looks exactly like a woman.
Third definition: “Attraction to all genders” that is literally included in the definition of bisexuality. Historically, bisexuality always rejected the gender binary and always included all genders.
Fourth definition: “Attraction regardless of genders” thats not how it works.
By definition, sexual orientation is what genders you’re attracted to, not how you are attracted to those genders.
Bisexuals and pansexuals are attracted to the exact same genders and many bisexuals don’t take gender in consideration when looking for a partner.
Saying that the difference between bisexuals and pansexuals is that for bisexuals gender needs to play a relevant role is just plain false, denies the experiences of many bisexuals and paints us as gender obsessed.
Fifth definition: “Attraction to someone’s personality” now this is just sapiosexual 2.0.
Saying that the defining experience of your sexuality is being attracted to personalities implies that all other sexualities aren’t.
Everyone feels attraction to personalities, its not just a pansexual thing. Having a completely separate label for something that everyone experiences is just absurd. And again, its not how sexual orientation works.
So, unless you redefine bisexuality (biphobia) or you misunderstand what a sexual orientation is, bisexuality and pansexuality are the exact same thing.
So why is pansexuality problematic and toxic?
1. Because it never left behind its roots.
Pansexuality was born because of bisexual stereotypes (that we exclude trans/nonbinary people, that we are attracted to parts and not hearts, that we are gender obsessed freaks) and its still heavily associated to the “hearts not parts” biphobic and transphobic bullshit. If you don’t believe it, check out this document I’ve put together. Pansexuality is still seen as “more open” and “more progressive” than bisexuality.
2. Because of the biphobia of the pansexual community.
Like I said above, pansexuals still spread stereotypes about bisexuality to defend pansexuality, such as “bi means two, pan means all”. If people call out biphobia, they get called bigots, panphobes or TERFs and they get told to shut up and not invalidate other labels, no matter the harm it does.
3. Because the rethoric “its fine to be uncomfortable with bisexuality, use this other label that was born out of biphobia and still hasn’t escaped its roots” is extremely problematic.
“The word bisexual makes me cringe at times, but saying I’m heterosexual or a lesbian feels inaccurate - regardless of who I am in a relationship with. So, cringing all the while, I use the label. Because of my relationship to the term feminist, I have learned that cringing is often a sign of unfinished political business: the label bi sounds bad because, at least in some ways, bisexuals are an unliberated, invisible, and disparaged social group.”
- Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics, Jennifer Baumgardner, 2007
In a society where LGBT people are seen as dirty, sinful, immoral and deviants and that makes sure to say that stuff loud and clear its normal that some LGBT people internalize that shit.
The reaction to “hey, calling myself gay makes me uncomfortable” shouldn’t be “valid, lets make up a new word that means the same but in a ~woke~ way”, it should be “lets dismantle and actively fight the system that makes people uncomfortable with those words”.
And its even worse for bisexuality, cause even in our community is often stigmatized and stereotyped (and while LGT people don’t have the power to oppress us, the biphobia in our community does harm us quite a lot).
Of course people are gonna be uncomfortable with bisexuality. That label has a huge baggage and a huge history of discrimination tied to it.
Of course people would rather choose to use with a label born to be all inclusive and not with the “transphobic” and “enbyphobic” one. However, that mindset is incredibly damaging to bisexuals and the bisexual community.
Not acknowledging WHY the bisexual label makes you uncomfortable and opting out of the dismantling process of all those things that makes it uncomfortable with a convenient new label does more harm than good to bisexuals.
Actually, it reinforces that! I’ve lost count of how many times i’ve seen posts by pansexuals that really boiled down to “WE are attracted to someone’s soul and personality and we don’t care about gender unlike those bisexuals, who always care about your gender”.
Also, pansexuals are the very last ones that should say “let people identify how they wish!” cause all they’ve done is forcedly redefining bisexuality in order to validate pansexuality.
Ever wondered why the definition of pansexuality changes every other day? Because they keep inventing a new one every time bisexuals point out that the previous is biphobic.
They keep twisting the definition of bisexuality and ignoring our history and our voices to accomodate their biphobic label.
They like to scream “let us identify how we want” every time we bring up the very valid issues that we have with their label and maybe they don’t realize that, but its just another way to silence us when we try to speak up.
This feels like a hate crime
My unpopular LGBT opinions
since my blog is discourse/trans related I thought I would share some of my “hot takes”
1. Neo pronouns are inherently transphobic and ablest: I'm just going to link my post about them because its a lot to get into right here. https://irrelevant13.tumblr.com/post/653907281869750272/neopronouns
2. Demi genders are not real: you cannot be “partially one gender” thats not how that works
3. Nonbinary is a valid gender identity: as long as you have dysphoria and are not invading other peoples spaces (lesbians, trans mens, etc) you’re valid imo.
4. Pronouns = Gender: If they don’t equal gender then why is it called “misgendering” when you call a transwoman “he” or a transman “her”? Pronouns are used as lazy nouns to describe people. If the average person is describing a man they’re going to say “he”
5. Gender is not a social construct: male, female, nb, are genders. These are not social constructs. Gender roles, how you express your gender, etc, are social constructs.
6. He/Him lesbians are not valid: Gender = pronouns. He/Him are male pronouns. Lesbians are women that like other women. By using a male pronoun and identifying as a lesbian you are contradicting yourself.
7. Nonbinary lesbians are not valid: lesbian = a woman who loves and is interested in women. There are labels for woman loving NB people. trans people do not need to be changing the definition of lesbian that is literally what TERFS are afraid of. And its completely unnecessary.
8. Micro-lables are unnecessary
9. the LGBTQIA+ Wiki is trash and should be deleted: there's so much fucking misinformation on there
10. The acronym is LGBT
11. Asexual is not a valid sexuality: its a preference and should not be included in the lgbt community because its not the same as being gay or trans.
12. KINK DOES NOT BELONG AT PRIDE: I understand there's a history. But kink related things do not need to be ANYWHERE near minors and pride is an event for all LGBT people. INCLUDING minors. Im probably going to make a whole post about this as well because there's a lot more to discuss about it.
13. dysphoria is NEEDED to be trans: this shouldn't even be a hot take or a fucking debate. saying dysphoria is not needed is transphobic and so fucking invalidating. saying dysphoria is not needed to be trans is implying being trans is a choice, which it is not. i'm going to make a whole blog post about why the “you need euphoria!!” argument is flawed because its a lot to get into here.
14. pansexual is invalid, transphobic and biphobic: pansexual is the worst sexuality in my opinion. i’m going to have to make it its own post because there is WAY too much to get into that it wont fit here.
15. genital preferences are not transphobic: and saying they are is weird. if a lesbian does not like male genital's she should not be forced to say she wouldn't mind dating a transwoman. same with gay men and straight people. people cannot help their preferences and they shouldn't be shamed or deemed evil for them (within reason of course)
16. if a lesbian does not want to date a transwoman, its not transphobic. and if a gay man does not want to date a transman, its not transphobic: this is really just repeating the last point but it really annoys me when people call other people “transphobic” for their preferences.
17. the Q word is a slur: and cishets using it rubs me the wrong way.
18. Intersex people should not be lumped into the LGBT community: Being intersex is not like being trans or gay. If you feel otherwise I’d love to hear your take on this.
19. polyamorous should not be considered part of the lgbt community: being in a relationship with multiple people is different from being trans or gay. Poly in itself is not part of the community in my opinion but there can be lgbt people that are polyamorous.
20. The “inclusive flag” is hideous and pointless: I’m talking about the one with the intersex flag in it. the normal inclusive flag is just plain unnecessary. Trans and POC were already included in the LGBT community we didn’t need a whole new flag to “include” us. (by us I mean trans people, I’m obviously not speaking about POC considering the fact I’m very white) I guess I’m open to hear arguments regarding the purpose of the inclusive flag though.
21: Calling the gay man flag “the toothpaste flag” is homophobic: I’ve ONLY seen people refer to the flag as the toothpaste flag in a negative way and I think its rather homophobic but I haven't seen many people talk about it.
22: Biphobia is so normalized in the LGBT community and not enough people are talking about it: Seriously this also warrants its own blog post.
23: transmedicalism is not harmful and is needed: this is going to be one of the more unpopular opinions but transmedicalism is not harmful. also cis transmeds are very cool.
24: “experimenting” with hormones is harmful and is NOT the way to figure out your gender identity: this shouldn't have to be said but if you aren't sure if you want to transition don't take horomones to figure it out. the affects of testosterone are often irreversible.
I’m sure i’m forgetting some but these are the big ones I guess. Also, when I make the blogs for the opinions I said I would make blogs for, I’ll make sure I link them.
“being Cis wouldn’t make your life better” (TW:rant!)
TW: dysphoria, brief mention of suicidal thoughts
Motherfucker I disagree. I’ve been told by other trans people that being cis wouldn’t make my life better because I would still have issues like misogyny etc. etc. I fucking hate this argument because not only is it dismissing my feelings about being dysphoric, but its stupid.
I can handle being objectified and catcalled because I unfortunately, grew up female. I was being harassed by men old enough to be my dad at 13. I can handle creeps. I cant handle my dysphoria though. Its so bad that I wake up wanting to die because I know I'm going to have to shower or leave the house at some point.
If I were cisgender I wouldn’t have half the issues I have now. I wouldn't be depressed, I wouldn't have dysphoria, my anxiety wouldn't be half as bad, and I wouldn't be on the verge of going to truancy court because I cant make it to school half the time.
And the thing is, this argument has ONLY been brought up when I enter support/vent chats. What's up with that?????? If your idea of ‘support’ is dismissing others feelings then you’re a piece of shit and you should check yourself.
Getting sick and goddamn tired of trans men/transmascs being treated like we don’t face transphobia or like we’re somehow oppressors. Trans men face different transphobia than trans women, and that’s important to acknowledge and discuss, but different doesn’t mean less. Transmascs are treated like we’re confused, like we need to be “protected” from “mutilating” our bodies, like we’re betraying womanhood; we’re infantilized and talked down to. Anti-Trans legislation, whether it’s a bathroom bill or restrictions on HRT, affects trans men just as much as it affects trans women.
And yet, I’ve seen people assert that it’s somehow transphobic to state the simple fact that trans men experience transphobia. I’ve seen people say that trans men “don’t have it hard at all” and every time I see a trans man asking for some positivity or support, he’s swiftly accused of making everything about trans men and ignoring trans women. As though we’re competing, as though we’re not all fighting the same fight.
Trans men face transphobia, too. Trans men struggle, too. Trans men deserve positivity and support from this community, too. Trans rights is not a zero/sum game.
