❛ i’m just an asshole with feelings ❜
❛ if you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, i will do the same thing to your head ❜
❛ my secret talent is getting tired without doing anything ❜
❛ i want tattoos and emotional stability ❜
❛ i would just like to publicly announce that i have no idea what i’m doing ❜
❛ i love when people shut the fuck up ❜
❛ hi i’m a hopeless romantic with serious trust issues nice to meet you ❜
❛ marry someone who looks at you the way you look at dogs ❜
❛ i want a tattoo of a ufo on my ass to represent how it’s out of this world ❜
❛ you ever see something and are like ‘ i’m so glad i don’t even know what that means ’ ❜
❛ lie in my bed. show me your favorite music. kiss my neck. ❜
❛ my kink is not opening messages and pretending they’re not there ❜
❛ i hate being tickled. i do not think it is cute, i do not think it is funny. i will kick you in the fucking face. ❜
❛ i’ll always have a soft spot for you ❜
❛ don’t talk to me or my 78 insecurities ever again ❜
❛ mentally crafting incredibly angry speeches that i will never say to all the people i hate is my favorite hobby ❜
❛ my kink is when people admit i was right ❜
❛ protecting your own happiness isn’t selfish. you deserve every ounce of happiness. ❜
❛ i’ve never said one coherent thing in my life ❜
❛ how can i be ready for the future when i’m not even ready to get up in the morning ❜
❛ never throw me anything unless you’re okay with dropping it ❜
❛ please don’t make me think about my life ❜
❛ have you ever met the human version of a headache ❜
❛ my personality is 30% of the last movie i watched ❜
❛ i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober ❜
❛ today i’m wearing a lovely shade of i slept like shit so don’t piss me off ❜
❛ why can’t i just plug myself into a charger ❜
❛ i have bullshitted my way through almost two decades of life ❜
❛ i, personally, would love to calm down, and yet ❜
❛ i can’t tell if i’m really nice but secretly an asshole or an asshole but secretly really nice ❜
❛ me? a jealous hoe? absolutely. ❜
❛ we’re gonna be weird adults ❜
❛ wait no hug me more ❜
❛ are we gonna fucking hold hands tonight or what bitch ❜
❛ does anyone else get friend-jealous really easily? ❜
❛ apparently ‘spite’ is not an ‘appropriate answer’ to “what motivates you?” ❜
❛ we, as a community, should go to bed ❜
❛ white lips, pale face, i hate the entire human race ❜
❛ no offense but what the fuck am i doing ❜
❛ there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me – it’s called the throne ❜
❛ i might be short but you’re still beneath me ❜
❛ if i have a crush on you, i’m so sorry ❜
❛ the human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single fucking one of them ❜
❛ well this social situation isn’t going the way i acted it out in the shower ❜
❛ i!!!!!!!!!! hate!!!!!!!!!! being!!!!!!!!!! left!!!!!!!!!! out!!!!!!!!!! ❜
❛ i’m honestly so clingy and detached at the same time ❜
❛ i think part of growing up is understanding song lyrics ❜
❛ how can someone (me) be so beautiful (me) but also so underrated (me) ❜
❛ hi, i’m here to ruin everything ❜
❛ college is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane ❜
❛ and then satan said, “here, have feelings” ❜
❛ it is i, your local asshole ❜
❛ you’re about as irrelevant as mean girls 2 ❜
❛ shout out… just in general. i’m just shouting. ❜
❛ get your heart broken so your art improves ❜
❛ i’m so tired, but i always find the energy to sin ❜