Twirling my hair rn

wet beest

[toskarin]

[shaking your hand] hey you ever hear about the scorpion and the frog [not letting go] exciting friends and a good adventure

[lokaror]

In my new gacha game, you can now pull for scantily clad anime women who represent famous airplane crashes.

[perception-filter]

staring at the dessert menu and twirling my hair and going "should I be baaaaddd" until the autistic girl I'm eating with says "there is nothing bad about eating dessert. it is a morally neutral action"

[crazysodomite]

my new poker strat: start tearing up after looking at my cards no matter what i got

[solarifle]

"we have to accept the fact that the r word is coming back" NO WE DONTTTT NO WE DONT

[gallade-x-treme]

SAY IT LOUDER FOR LITERALLY EVERYONE 🗣

[patrickbatemanamericanpsycho]

When the group chat arguing and bro starts messaging you privately

[the-big-mood]

Scientists at Cortical Labs have successfully trained a cluster of approximately 200,000 living human neurons, grown on a microelectrode array chip, to play the classic 3D video game DOOM.

[villainessbian]

ah sweet man-made gamers beneath my comprehension

[virtualgirladvance]

we made a brain from scratch, put it in a simulation of hell and gave it a gun

[the-a-j-universe]

[sashimi55]

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

[dambiex]

[pukicho]

If I were found in a 'night at the museum" situation, there would be no wacky hijinks, let me tell you. I'd kill myself instantly. The wax figures wouldn't even be alive yet and I'd be dead.

[somacruz]

Best thing I ever saw

[somacruz]

An ancient letter G is my pet and it has a fever in its big eye

[talesfromtreatment]

I... I don't think the patient's weight got entered correctly. Just a hunch

[wimpud]

please, my dog, he is sick

[talesfromtreatment]

Every single note and comment is comedy gold and I'm wheezing from laughing so hard

[awaggaa]

[avpd-pain]

[memecucker]

[phantomrose96]

I want all animals to become sapient enough to produce art specifically because I want to see what sort of sex homunculus caricature each species would create if given the ability to draw

[phantomrose96]

Like we've already got the anime waifu with the needle-waist and watermelon-bazonkas and borzoi-legs and bug-eyes. Now show me a fucked-up stupid beetle as drawn by a horny beetle. I want to see what a cartoonishly sexy lion looks like according to lions. I want to see the most ridiculous drawing of a peahen that would have the peacocks squaring up by the fountain.

[phantomrose96]

We give this power to ostriches and they just start drawing people

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[justatiredlittlesnail]

[maykitz]

customer was a shitlib, and treatlerite. one night she orders grubhub, drunker than usual. kamala harris had lost the election. i delivered chipotle as a male driver. she didn't like that. not. one. bit.