I laugh every time I remember my We Play Pretend, Charlie series because itโs just that one imaginary storyline you replay in your head when you dissociateโฆ but published.
Summary: Y/N gets Luke back for a day. Then the day repeats. Then it repeats again. And the longer she stays trapped in the morning before the Orpheum, the more sheโs forced to ask herself what hurts worse: losing Luke, or getting him back just to lose him on schedule.
CW: Major Character Death. Time loop (repeating the day of his death). Heavy grief/angst. Depictions of a traumatic accident + medical emergency. Hospital scenes and death notification. Emotional distress/panic.
Chapter 1 โข Soft As A Lie
Warmth at her side.
Lukeโs arm was wrapped around her waist, heavy in that sleepy way that meant he hadnโt let go even once. His breath moved the hair at the nape of her neck. The sheets were tangled around their legs, and the room smelled like detergent, guitar strings, and that vanilla candle Reggie bought because he said the apartment needed better energy.
Y/N didnโt move right away.
Sheโd dreamed of Luke so many times since she lost him that her grief had practically developed a routine. Sometimes he was a blur. Sometimes a voice. Sometimes he was so real she woke up with her hands shaking.
This felt like one of those.
So she decides not to ruin it. A dream, she tells herself. Just a dream.
Luke made a low, offended sound and shoved his face into her shoulder. โWhy are you awake?โ He mumbled, as if morning had personally betrayed him. โStay here.โ
She turned slowly, careful with the moment, scared that if she moved too fast the whole thing would collapse.
Shaggy hair in his eyes, hazel gaze barely open. His rings caught a faint strip of light when he rubbed his face, and the sight of those familiar hands almost cracked her open.
He was right there. Alive.
Luke squinted at her, and his mouth curved into a smile he couldnโt help. โHi,โ he whispered, soft and stupidly fond. โYouโre staring.โ
โIโm not.โ Y/N replied, keeping her voice light, because light felt safer.
โYou totally are,โ he insisted, and then his brow tightened like something important had occured to him. โOkay, wait, do I have something in my face? Be honest.โ
A small laugh escaped her before she could stop it. She slid her fingers into his hair and smoothed it back from his forehead. โYou may have a little drool on the corner of your mouth.โ
โFunny.โ He said, and scooted closer like distance was a personal insult. His hand slid higher on her waist. โCโmere.โ
He kissed just under her ear, warm and lazy, and the familiarity of it hit her so hard she had to swallow. The kiss said nothing dramatic. It said: this is normal, this is ours, this is morning.
Luke sighed like heโd found the exact place he belonged.
Then he woke up fully, not because he was rested, but because excitement had grabbed him by the throat.
โTomorrow,โ he said, suddenly bright. โTomorrowโs the day. Like, actually the day.โ He let out a breathy laugh, disbelieving and thrilled at once. โWe finally sing at the Orpheum. The Orpheum.โ
Her chest tightened so sharply she felt it in her teeth.
She kept her face soft. She kept her hand in his hair. If this was a dream, she wasnโt going to ruin it by bleeding all over it.
Luke kept talking because he always did when music was involved, because thoughts in his head turned into words the moment they got too loud. โI keep seeing it, okay? Like, the first chord and the lights and man, everybodyโs gonna be there.โ He stopped, swallowed, then looked at her like he needed her to meet him in the excitement. โTell me youโre excited. Just a little.โ
โI am. Youโre vibrating though.โ Y/N murmured, brushing her thumb along his temple.
Luke blinked. โIโm not-โ
โYou are,โ she said, quietly amused, letting the warmth show just enough. โIf you vibrate any harder, youโre going to shake the whole mattress apart.โ
Luke stared at her for a beat as if heโd been handed a dare wrapped in velvet.
Then his grin turned shameless, his voice dropping into that low, teasing register he used when he wanted to push her without making it a big deal. โOh,โ he said. โSo thatโs what weโre doing.โ
โI said if,โ she replied, calm on purpose.
Lukeโs hand slid from her waist to her hip, slow and familiar, and he kissed her neck again. โRight. โIf,โโ he murmured against her skin. โSo what youโre telling me isโฆ I should probably keep vibrating.โ
โIโm telling you to behave.โ
โI am behaving,โ Luke whispered, and kissed her once more, soft and lazy like he had all the time in the world. โThis is me being so good.โ
Y/N tried to hide her laugh in his shoulder and failed. โYouโre unbearable.โ
Luke hummed, pleased. โYeah,โ he murmured, like it was a compliment. โAnd you love it.โ
She didnโt answer with words because her throat felt too tight for truth. Instead she let her fingers linger in his hair and memorized the warmth of his face against hers, like memory could be collected on purpose.
Luke pulled back just enough to look at her again, eyes bright with tomorrow. โOkay,โ he decided. โWe get up. Because if I stay here Iโm gonna keep kissing you and Alex is gonna murder me for being late.โ
Y/N nodded once. โLetโs go.โ
Luke kissed her temple. Quick, warm and rolled out of bed like the day was a gift he couldnโt wait to unwrap.
They heard the kitchen before they saw it.
โALEX! WHY ARE YOU COOKING LIKE ITโS A FINAL?โ Reggie shouted from down the hall.
โBECAUSE TOMORROW IS BASICALLY A FINAL!โ Alex snapped back, strained and sharp.
Luke dragged a hand down his face like he was bracing himself. โI forgot we live with lunatics.โ
Sunlight flooded the kitchen, bright and careless.
Alex stood at the stove cooking alone, shoulders tight, movements too precise for pancakes. Flour dusted the counter. A smear of batter clung to his wrist. He flipped a pancake, watched it land, and immediately reached for the spatula again like stopping would let his nerves catch him.
Reggie was at the table bouncing on his heels, holding a stack of white t-shirts with black lettering like they were priceless.
Y/Nโs stomach dipped before anyone even said anything, because her body recognized the shape of this morning.
Reggie beamed. โOkay. These are for tomorrow.โ
Alex didnโt look up. โWe are not handing out shirts if you printed something embarrassing.โ
Reggie clutched his chest. โWhy would you assume Iโd do that?โ
Alex flipped a pancake a little too hard and it slapped back into the pan. โBecause youโre you.โ
Reggie lifted one shirt higher, presenting proof. The cotton was thin, the black print slightly off-center in that unmistakable way cheap ink always was. It was exactly the kind of small detail grief kept forever because it belonged to a day that turned into a before-and-after.
โOutside the Orpheum,โ Reggie said, fast and bright. โWe hand them out to the crowd. People take one and they get to go home and say they were there.โ
Y/N looked at the words.
SUNSET CURVE. LIVE LOUD.
Her brain tried to shove the panic into a corner. Itโs a dream, itโs a dream, itโs a dream. She had dreamed him countless times, so why wouldnโt her mind build the day it hurts the most?
Reggie shoved a shirt toward her. โJudge it.โ
Y/N took it carefully. The fabric was soft in a cheap way. The ink smelled faintly fresh. She ran her thumb over the lettering, slow enough to steady herself, and then lifted her eyes with a smile she built on purpose.
โThey look great, Reggโ she said gently. โIโm sure theyโll work.โ
For a moment, Reggie went quiet, like something tender slipped through the cracks.
Then he snapped back into brightness and held the shirt higher. โExactly. This one says โSUNSET CURVEโ and then-โ He paused because he could not help himself, โโLIVE LOUD.โโ
Luke leaned in immediately, grinning like a kid. โThatโs sick.โ
Alex finally glanced over, eyebrow raised. โDid you spell everything right this time?โ
Alex didnโt blink. โLast week you wrote โcongradulationsโ on a note.โ
โThat was a creative choice,โ Reggie fired back.
Luke laughed, bright and easy, and leaned against the counter near Y/N. His knee bumped hers, casual and constant. He didnโt ask if she was okay, and he didnโt do a big boyfriend speech. He was just there, warm at her side, as if the world were simple.
Reggie started stacking the shirts into a tote bag, smoothing them down with both hands as if neatness could turn into luck. When he tied the knot, he did it carefully, almost reverently.
โThere,โ Reggie announced. โSafe. Coming with us. Nobody touch it.โ
Alex didnโt even look up. โNo one was going to touch it.โ
Luke hovered like a menace and stole a bite off the plate the second Alex set it down. He chewed, blinked, then looked genuinely amazed by how good it was.
โWait,โ Luke said, pointing his fork at Alex. โThis is actually good.โ
Alex glanced over, suspicious. โItโs pancakes.โ
โYeah,โ Luke said, grinning, โbut you made them. Thatโs different.โ
Reggie swung the tote onto his shoulder and bounced once. โOkay. Weโre leaving before I start pacing.โ
Luke leaned into Y/Nโs space again, shoulder brushing hers, hand settling at her waist like it belonged there. He kissed the side of her neck and murmured low enough that it stayed theirs, โYouโre distracting.โ
โYouโll manage,โ Y/N whispered back.
Lukeโs grin was immediate. โBarely.โ
Alex killed the heat, wiped his hands on a towel too fast, and grabbed his bag. โLetโs go,โ he said, like moving would keep his thoughts from catching up.
Outside, the day was bright in that indifferent way sunny days are. The sky didnโt care what it was about to watch. Everything else before the Orpheum happened exactly like Y/N remembered.
Luke walked beside Y/N, talking with his hands, thoughts sprinting ahead of his mouth. โOkay, wait- today at rehearsal, I wanna try the bridge again. The one we keep fighting about.โ His eyes shone with the kind of certainty he only got when he could hear the music in his head. โI think I finally hear it.โ
Y/N kept his pace. โYou always โfinally hear itโ right before you make everyone do it ten more times.โ
Luke gasped like sheโd stabbed him. โThatโs not true.โ
Alex, without looking up, said, โThat is completely true.โ
Reggie laughed. โWe love his commitment.โ
Luke pointed at Y/N like she was his co-conspirator. โYou love it.โ
โI love you,โ Y/N said, and kept her tone light because light felt safer. โBig difference.โ
Luke went quiet for half a beat, like the words hit a soft place. Then his grin returned, gentler around the edges. โYeah,โ he said. โI love you more.โ
At the Orpheum, the air changed the moment they stepped inside.
The building smelled old. Wood, dust, history and the stage felt like it was waiting. Luke stepped onto it like it was church and home and a dare all at once.
He played like he was made of flame. Between takes he talked too fast, interrupted himself, laughed mid-sentence.
โNo, no, okay, wait. Again,โ he said, shaking his head as if he could physically shake the right sound into existence. โThe bridge has to hit harder. Not perfect. Justโฆ alive. You get me?โ
Reggie nodded like a proud parent. โI get you.โ
โUnfortunately,โ Alex deadpanned.
Luke laughed and glanced at Y/N at the edge of the stage the way he always did, like he was checking where his gravity was.
He just lifted his chin as if to say: you seeing this?
Y/N met his eyes and gave him exactly what he wanted: steady attention, a small nod, a look that promised she was here.
Luke played harder.
Rehearsal ended on a high that made Luke bounce on the balls of his feet. Reggie hugged the tote bag like it was a baby. Alex packed up with tight focus, as if he could keep tomorrow from getting too close by staying in motion.
โFood,โ Reggie declared like it was an emergency.
Luke didnโt hesitate. โHotdogs,โ he said immediately. โThat place on the corner. Itโs disgusting and perfect.โ
They went straight there. No detours. No pause.
The hotdog stand looked exactly the way it always did. The sign was a little sun-faded. The air smelled like onions and grease. The napkins never helped no matter how many you took.
Reggie ordered like it was a sport. Alex complained about ketchup like it was a moral issue. Luke stole a fry off Y/Nโs tray like he was twelve.
โYouโre a baby,โ Y/N murmured, amused.
Luke grinned around the bite. โYes, but Iโm your baby .โ
Y/N laughed softly at the right places because she refused to make the day heavy for them, even in her head. She held Lukeโs hand under the table like it was the only real thing in the world.
Because it was.
The sound came first, sharp and metallic and wrong, and then time buckled around it.
Y/N went still as if her body had recognized the ending before her mind would let her. Lukeโs fingers tightened around hers once, hard.
He turned toward her with wide, confused eyes, like he was about to ask a question and didnโt have time.
And then the universe took him.
The world became noise and motion and horror. Sirens. Shouting. Reggieโs voice breaking into something animal. Alex dropping to his knees like his bones forgot how to hold him up.
Y/Nโs calm shattered all at once, finally, because reality was crueler than any dream. She crawled to Luke like love was a muscle and she could still use it to pull him back.
โLuke,โ she breathed, hands shaking as she tried to hold him together. โHey. Hey, look at me.โ
His eyes found hers for a heartbeat. There was a flicker of recognition, and then fear, and then a tiny, broken sound that didnโt even make it into a full word.
Y/N leaned in, voice steady only because she forced it. โIโm here,โ she whispered. โIโve got you.โ
Lukeโs fingers twitched weakly in her grasp.
Then nothing.
The hospital was fluorescent and merciless. The doctorโs mouth moved and the words didnโt belong in the air.
โIโm sorry.โ
Y/N got home with Lukeโs name lodged in her throat like a splinter. The apartment was wrong without them. Too quiet, too empty, as if someone had taken the center out of it and left the walls standing.
His guitar case was still there. His hoodie still hung where heโd left it. Reggieโs vanilla candle still smelled sweet and intoxicating and unbearable.
Y/N sank to the floor in front of the guitar case and pressed her forehead against it like the hard edge could keep her upright.
Night came. She ended up in bed because the body always ends up somewhere, even when the mind doesnโt.
The sheets still smelled like him, and that was the final cruelty she could bear.
Her mind went to the accident. She never revived it so vividly. It was a nightmare, she told herself. It was just a nightmare. It had to be.
Sleep took her anyway.
And then Lukeโs arm wrapped around her waist again.
His breath warmed her neck.
His voice, thick with sleep, mumbled into her shoulder. โWhy are you awake?โ
Y/Nโs eyes flew open.
Detergent. Guitar strings. Vanilla.
Luke tightened his hand around her like nothing had ever happened.
Summary: Y/N gets Luke back for a day. Then the day repeats. Then it repeats again. And the longer she stays trapped in the morning before the Orpheum, the more sheโs forced to ask herself what hurts worse: losing Luke, or getting him back just to lose him on schedule.
CW: Major Character Death. Time loop (repeating the day of his death). Heavy grief/angst. Depictions of a traumatic accident + medical emergency. Hospital scenes and death notification. Emotional distress/panic.
Chapter 1 โข Soft As A Lie
Warmth at her side.
Lukeโs arm was wrapped around her waist, heavy in that sleepy way that meant he hadnโt let go even once. His breath moved the hair at the nape of her neck. The sheets were tangled around their legs, and the room smelled like detergent, guitar strings, and that vanilla candle Reggie bought because he said the apartment needed better energy.
Y/N didnโt move right away.
Sheโd dreamed of Luke so many times since she lost him that her grief had practically developed a routine. Sometimes he was a blur. Sometimes a voice. Sometimes he was so real she woke up with her hands shaking.
This felt like one of those.
So she decides not to ruin it. A dream, she tells herself. Just a dream.
Luke made a low, offended sound and shoved his face into her shoulder. โWhy are you awake?โ He mumbled, as if morning had personally betrayed him. โStay here.โ
She turned slowly, careful with the moment, scared that if she moved too fast the whole thing would collapse.
Shaggy hair in his eyes, hazel gaze barely open. His rings caught a faint strip of light when he rubbed his face, and the sight of those familiar hands almost cracked her open.
He was right there. Alive.
Luke squinted at her, and his mouth curved into a smile he couldnโt help. โHi,โ he whispered, soft and stupidly fond. โYouโre staring.โ
โIโm not.โ Y/N replied, keeping her voice light, because light felt safer.
โYou totally are,โ he insisted, and then his brow tightened like something important had occured to him. โOkay, wait, do I have something in my face? Be honest.โ
A small laugh escaped her before she could stop it. She slid her fingers into his hair and smoothed it back from his forehead. โYou may have a little drool on the corner of your mouth.โ
โFunny.โ He said, and scooted closer like distance was a personal insult. His hand slid higher on her waist. โCโmere.โ
He kissed just under her ear, warm and lazy, and the familiarity of it hit her so hard she had to swallow. The kiss said nothing dramatic. It said: this is normal, this is ours, this is morning.
Luke sighed like heโd found the exact place he belonged.
Then he woke up fully, not because he was rested, but because excitement had grabbed him by the throat.
โTomorrow,โ he said, suddenly bright. โTomorrowโs the day. Like, actually the day.โ He let out a breathy laugh, disbelieving and thrilled at once. โWe finally sing at the Orpheum. The Orpheum.โ
Her chest tightened so sharply she felt it in her teeth.
She kept her face soft. She kept her hand in his hair. If this was a dream, she wasnโt going to ruin it by bleeding all over it.
Luke kept talking because he always did when music was involved, because thoughts in his head turned into words the moment they got too loud. โI keep seeing it, okay? Like, the first chord and the lights and man, everybodyโs gonna be there.โ He stopped, swallowed, then looked at her like he needed her to meet him in the excitement. โTell me youโre excited. Just a little.โ
โI am. Youโre vibrating though.โ Y/N murmured, brushing her thumb along his temple.
Luke blinked. โIโm not-โ
โYou are,โ she said, quietly amused, letting the warmth show just enough. โIf you vibrate any harder, youโre going to shake the whole mattress apart.โ
Luke stared at her for a beat as if heโd been handed a dare wrapped in velvet.
Then his grin turned shameless, his voice dropping into that low, teasing register he used when he wanted to push her without making it a big deal. โOh,โ he said. โSo thatโs what weโre doing.โ
โI said if,โ she replied, calm on purpose.
Lukeโs hand slid from her waist to her hip, slow and familiar, and he kissed her neck again. โRight. โIf,โโ he murmured against her skin. โSo what youโre telling me isโฆ I should probably keep vibrating.โ
โIโm telling you to behave.โ
โI am behaving,โ Luke whispered, and kissed her once more, soft and lazy like he had all the time in the world. โThis is me being so good.โ
Y/N tried to hide her laugh in his shoulder and failed. โYouโre unbearable.โ
Luke hummed, pleased. โYeah,โ he murmured, like it was a compliment. โAnd you love it.โ
She didnโt answer with words because her throat felt too tight for truth. Instead she let her fingers linger in his hair and memorized the warmth of his face against hers, like memory could be collected on purpose.
Luke pulled back just enough to look at her again, eyes bright with tomorrow. โOkay,โ he decided. โWe get up. Because if I stay here Iโm gonna keep kissing you and Alex is gonna murder me for being late.โ
Y/N nodded once. โLetโs go.โ
Luke kissed her temple. Quick, warm and rolled out of bed like the day was a gift he couldnโt wait to unwrap.
They heard the kitchen before they saw it.
โALEX! WHY ARE YOU COOKING LIKE ITโS A FINAL?โ Reggie shouted from down the hall.
โBECAUSE TOMORROW IS BASICALLY A FINAL!โ Alex snapped back, strained and sharp.
Luke dragged a hand down his face like he was bracing himself. โI forgot we live with lunatics.โ
Sunlight flooded the kitchen, bright and careless.
Alex stood at the stove cooking alone, shoulders tight, movements too precise for pancakes. Flour dusted the counter. A smear of batter clung to his wrist. He flipped a pancake, watched it land, and immediately reached for the spatula again like stopping would let his nerves catch him.
Reggie was at the table bouncing on his heels, holding a stack of white t-shirts with black lettering like they were priceless.
Y/Nโs stomach dipped before anyone even said anything, because her body recognized the shape of this morning.
Reggie beamed. โOkay. These are for tomorrow.โ
Alex didnโt look up. โWe are not handing out shirts if you printed something embarrassing.โ
Reggie clutched his chest. โWhy would you assume Iโd do that?โ
Alex flipped a pancake a little too hard and it slapped back into the pan. โBecause youโre you.โ
Reggie lifted one shirt higher, presenting proof. The cotton was thin, the black print slightly off-center in that unmistakable way cheap ink always was. It was exactly the kind of small detail grief kept forever because it belonged to a day that turned into a before-and-after.
โOutside the Orpheum,โ Reggie said, fast and bright. โWe hand them out to the crowd. People take one and they get to go home and say they were there.โ
Y/N looked at the words.
SUNSET CURVE. LIVE LOUD.
Her brain tried to shove the panic into a corner. Itโs a dream, itโs a dream, itโs a dream. She had dreamed him countless times, so why wouldnโt her mind build the day it hurts the most?
Reggie shoved a shirt toward her. โJudge it.โ
Y/N took it carefully. The fabric was soft in a cheap way. The ink smelled faintly fresh. She ran her thumb over the lettering, slow enough to steady herself, and then lifted her eyes with a smile she built on purpose.
โThey look great, Reggโ she said gently. โIโm sure theyโll work.โ
For a moment, Reggie went quiet, like something tender slipped through the cracks.
Then he snapped back into brightness and held the shirt higher. โExactly. This one says โSUNSET CURVEโ and then-โ He paused because he could not help himself, โโLIVE LOUD.โโ
Luke leaned in immediately, grinning like a kid. โThatโs sick.โ
Alex finally glanced over, eyebrow raised. โDid you spell everything right this time?โ
Alex didnโt blink. โLast week you wrote โcongradulationsโ on a note.โ
โThat was a creative choice,โ Reggie fired back.
Luke laughed, bright and easy, and leaned against the counter near Y/N. His knee bumped hers, casual and constant. He didnโt ask if she was okay, and he didnโt do a big boyfriend speech. He was just there, warm at her side, as if the world were simple.
Reggie started stacking the shirts into a tote bag, smoothing them down with both hands as if neatness could turn into luck. When he tied the knot, he did it carefully, almost reverently.
โThere,โ Reggie announced. โSafe. Coming with us. Nobody touch it.โ
Alex didnโt even look up. โNo one was going to touch it.โ
Luke hovered like a menace and stole a bite off the plate the second Alex set it down. He chewed, blinked, then looked genuinely amazed by how good it was.
โWait,โ Luke said, pointing his fork at Alex. โThis is actually good.โ
Alex glanced over, suspicious. โItโs pancakes.โ
โYeah,โ Luke said, grinning, โbut you made them. Thatโs different.โ
Reggie swung the tote onto his shoulder and bounced once. โOkay. Weโre leaving before I start pacing.โ
Luke leaned into Y/Nโs space again, shoulder brushing hers, hand settling at her waist like it belonged there. He kissed the side of her neck and murmured low enough that it stayed theirs, โYouโre distracting.โ
โYouโll manage,โ Y/N whispered back.
Lukeโs grin was immediate. โBarely.โ
Alex killed the heat, wiped his hands on a towel too fast, and grabbed his bag. โLetโs go,โ he said, like moving would keep his thoughts from catching up.
Outside, the day was bright in that indifferent way sunny days are. The sky didnโt care what it was about to watch. Everything else before the Orpheum happened exactly like Y/N remembered.
Luke walked beside Y/N, talking with his hands, thoughts sprinting ahead of his mouth. โOkay, wait- today at rehearsal, I wanna try the bridge again. The one we keep fighting about.โ His eyes shone with the kind of certainty he only got when he could hear the music in his head. โI think I finally hear it.โ
Y/N kept his pace. โYou always โfinally hear itโ right before you make everyone do it ten more times.โ
Luke gasped like sheโd stabbed him. โThatโs not true.โ
Alex, without looking up, said, โThat is completely true.โ
Reggie laughed. โWe love his commitment.โ
Luke pointed at Y/N like she was his co-conspirator. โYou love it.โ
โI love you,โ Y/N said, and kept her tone light because light felt safer. โBig difference.โ
Luke went quiet for half a beat, like the words hit a soft place. Then his grin returned, gentler around the edges. โYeah,โ he said. โI love you more.โ
At the Orpheum, the air changed the moment they stepped inside.
The building smelled old. Wood, dust, history and the stage felt like it was waiting. Luke stepped onto it like it was church and home and a dare all at once.
He played like he was made of flame. Between takes he talked too fast, interrupted himself, laughed mid-sentence.
โNo, no, okay, wait. Again,โ he said, shaking his head as if he could physically shake the right sound into existence. โThe bridge has to hit harder. Not perfect. Justโฆ alive. You get me?โ
Reggie nodded like a proud parent. โI get you.โ
โUnfortunately,โ Alex deadpanned.
Luke laughed and glanced at Y/N at the edge of the stage the way he always did, like he was checking where his gravity was.
He just lifted his chin as if to say: you seeing this?
Y/N met his eyes and gave him exactly what he wanted: steady attention, a small nod, a look that promised she was here.
Luke played harder.
Rehearsal ended on a high that made Luke bounce on the balls of his feet. Reggie hugged the tote bag like it was a baby. Alex packed up with tight focus, as if he could keep tomorrow from getting too close by staying in motion.
โFood,โ Reggie declared like it was an emergency.
Luke didnโt hesitate. โHotdogs,โ he said immediately. โThat place on the corner. Itโs disgusting and perfect.โ
They went straight there. No detours. No pause.
The hotdog stand looked exactly the way it always did. The sign was a little sun-faded. The air smelled like onions and grease. The napkins never helped no matter how many you took.
Reggie ordered like it was a sport. Alex complained about ketchup like it was a moral issue. Luke stole a fry off Y/Nโs tray like he was twelve.
โYouโre a baby,โ Y/N murmured, amused.
Luke grinned around the bite. โYes, but Iโm your baby .โ
Y/N laughed softly at the right places because she refused to make the day heavy for them, even in her head. She held Lukeโs hand under the table like it was the only real thing in the world.
Because it was.
The sound came first, sharp and metallic and wrong, and then time buckled around it.
Y/N went still as if her body had recognized the ending before her mind would let her. Lukeโs fingers tightened around hers once, hard.
He turned toward her with wide, confused eyes, like he was about to ask a question and didnโt have time.
And then the universe took him.
The world became noise and motion and horror. Sirens. Shouting. Reggieโs voice breaking into something animal. Alex dropping to his knees like his bones forgot how to hold him up.
Y/Nโs calm shattered all at once, finally, because reality was crueler than any dream. She crawled to Luke like love was a muscle and she could still use it to pull him back.
โLuke,โ she breathed, hands shaking as she tried to hold him together. โHey. Hey, look at me.โ
His eyes found hers for a heartbeat. There was a flicker of recognition, and then fear, and then a tiny, broken sound that didnโt even make it into a full word.
Y/N leaned in, voice steady only because she forced it. โIโm here,โ she whispered. โIโve got you.โ
Lukeโs fingers twitched weakly in her grasp.
Then nothing.
The hospital was fluorescent and merciless. The doctorโs mouth moved and the words didnโt belong in the air.
โIโm sorry.โ
Y/N got home with Lukeโs name lodged in her throat like a splinter. The apartment was wrong without them. Too quiet, too empty, as if someone had taken the center out of it and left the walls standing.
His guitar case was still there. His hoodie still hung where heโd left it. Reggieโs vanilla candle still smelled sweet and intoxicating and unbearable.
Y/N sank to the floor in front of the guitar case and pressed her forehead against it like the hard edge could keep her upright.
Night came. She ended up in bed because the body always ends up somewhere, even when the mind doesnโt.
The sheets still smelled like him, and that was the final cruelty she could bear.
Her mind went to the accident. She never revived it so vividly. It was a nightmare, she told herself. It was just a nightmare. It had to be.
Sleep took her anyway.
And then Lukeโs arm wrapped around her waist again.
His breath warmed her neck.
His voice, thick with sleep, mumbled into her shoulder. โWhy are you awake?โ
Y/Nโs eyes flew open.
Detergent. Guitar strings. Vanilla.
Luke tightened his hand around her like nothing had ever happened.
Summary: Y/N gets Luke back for a day. Then the day repeats. Then it repeats again. And the longer she stays trapped in the morning before the Orpheum, the more sheโs forced to ask herself what hurts worse: losing Luke, or getting him back just to lose him on schedule.
CW: Major Character Death. Time loop (repeating the day of his death). Heavy grief/angst. Depictions of a traumatic accident + medical emergency. Hospital scenes and death notification. Emotional distress/panic.
Chapter 1 โข Soft As A Lie
Warmth at her side.
Lukeโs arm was wrapped around her waist, heavy in that sleepy way that meant he hadnโt let go even once. His breath moved the hair at the nape of her neck. The sheets were tangled around their legs, and the room smelled like detergent, guitar strings, and that vanilla candle Reggie bought because he said the apartment needed better energy.
Y/N didnโt move right away.
Sheโd dreamed of Luke so many times since she lost him that her grief had practically developed a routine. Sometimes he was a blur. Sometimes a voice. Sometimes he was so real she woke up with her hands shaking.
This felt like one of those.
So she decides not to ruin it. A dream, she tells herself. Just a dream.
Luke made a low, offended sound and shoved his face into her shoulder. โWhy are you awake?โ He mumbled, as if morning had personally betrayed him. โStay here.โ
She turned slowly, careful with the moment, scared that if she moved too fast the whole thing would collapse.
Shaggy hair in his eyes, hazel gaze barely open. His rings caught a faint strip of light when he rubbed his face, and the sight of those familiar hands almost cracked her open.
He was right there. Alive.
Luke squinted at her, and his mouth curved into a smile he couldnโt help. โHi,โ he whispered, soft and stupidly fond. โYouโre staring.โ
โIโm not.โ Y/N replied, keeping her voice light, because light felt safer.
โYou totally are,โ he insisted, and then his brow tightened like something important had occured to him. โOkay, wait, do I have something in my face? Be honest.โ
A small laugh escaped her before she could stop it. She slid her fingers into his hair and smoothed it back from his forehead. โYou may have a little drool on the corner of your mouth.โ
โFunny.โ He said, and scooted closer like distance was a personal insult. His hand slid higher on her waist. โCโmere.โ
He kissed just under her ear, warm and lazy, and the familiarity of it hit her so hard she had to swallow. The kiss said nothing dramatic. It said: this is normal, this is ours, this is morning.
Luke sighed like heโd found the exact place he belonged.
Then he woke up fully, not because he was rested, but because excitement had grabbed him by the throat.
โTomorrow,โ he said, suddenly bright. โTomorrowโs the day. Like, actually the day.โ He let out a breathy laugh, disbelieving and thrilled at once. โWe finally sing at the Orpheum. The Orpheum.โ
Her chest tightened so sharply she felt it in her teeth.
She kept her face soft. She kept her hand in his hair. If this was a dream, she wasnโt going to ruin it by bleeding all over it.
Luke kept talking because he always did when music was involved, because thoughts in his head turned into words the moment they got too loud. โI keep seeing it, okay? Like, the first chord and the lights and man, everybodyโs gonna be there.โ He stopped, swallowed, then looked at her like he needed her to meet him in the excitement. โTell me youโre excited. Just a little.โ
โI am. Youโre vibrating though.โ Y/N murmured, brushing her thumb along his temple.
Luke blinked. โIโm not-โ
โYou are,โ she said, quietly amused, letting the warmth show just enough. โIf you vibrate any harder, youโre going to shake the whole mattress apart.โ
Luke stared at her for a beat as if heโd been handed a dare wrapped in velvet.
Then his grin turned shameless, his voice dropping into that low, teasing register he used when he wanted to push her without making it a big deal. โOh,โ he said. โSo thatโs what weโre doing.โ
โI said if,โ she replied, calm on purpose.
Lukeโs hand slid from her waist to her hip, slow and familiar, and he kissed her neck again. โRight. โIf,โโ he murmured against her skin. โSo what youโre telling me isโฆ I should probably keep vibrating.โ
โIโm telling you to behave.โ
โI am behaving,โ Luke whispered, and kissed her once more, soft and lazy like he had all the time in the world. โThis is me being so good.โ
Y/N tried to hide her laugh in his shoulder and failed. โYouโre unbearable.โ
Luke hummed, pleased. โYeah,โ he murmured, like it was a compliment. โAnd you love it.โ
She didnโt answer with words because her throat felt too tight for truth. Instead she let her fingers linger in his hair and memorized the warmth of his face against hers, like memory could be collected on purpose.
Luke pulled back just enough to look at her again, eyes bright with tomorrow. โOkay,โ he decided. โWe get up. Because if I stay here Iโm gonna keep kissing you and Alex is gonna murder me for being late.โ
Y/N nodded once. โLetโs go.โ
Luke kissed her temple. Quick, warm and rolled out of bed like the day was a gift he couldnโt wait to unwrap.
They heard the kitchen before they saw it.
โALEX! WHY ARE YOU COOKING LIKE ITโS A FINAL?โ Reggie shouted from down the hall.
โBECAUSE TOMORROW IS BASICALLY A FINAL!โ Alex snapped back, strained and sharp.
Luke dragged a hand down his face like he was bracing himself. โI forgot we live with lunatics.โ
Sunlight flooded the kitchen, bright and careless.
Alex stood at the stove cooking alone, shoulders tight, movements too precise for pancakes. Flour dusted the counter. A smear of batter clung to his wrist. He flipped a pancake, watched it land, and immediately reached for the spatula again like stopping would let his nerves catch him.
Reggie was at the table bouncing on his heels, holding a stack of white t-shirts with black lettering like they were priceless.
Y/Nโs stomach dipped before anyone even said anything, because her body recognized the shape of this morning.
Reggie beamed. โOkay. These are for tomorrow.โ
Alex didnโt look up. โWe are not handing out shirts if you printed something embarrassing.โ
Reggie clutched his chest. โWhy would you assume Iโd do that?โ
Alex flipped a pancake a little too hard and it slapped back into the pan. โBecause youโre you.โ
Reggie lifted one shirt higher, presenting proof. The cotton was thin, the black print slightly off-center in that unmistakable way cheap ink always was. It was exactly the kind of small detail grief kept forever because it belonged to a day that turned into a before-and-after.
โOutside the Orpheum,โ Reggie said, fast and bright. โWe hand them out to the crowd. People take one and they get to go home and say they were there.โ
Y/N looked at the words.
SUNSET CURVE. LIVE LOUD.
Her brain tried to shove the panic into a corner. Itโs a dream, itโs a dream, itโs a dream. She had dreamed him countless times, so why wouldnโt her mind build the day it hurts the most?
Reggie shoved a shirt toward her. โJudge it.โ
Y/N took it carefully. The fabric was soft in a cheap way. The ink smelled faintly fresh. She ran her thumb over the lettering, slow enough to steady herself, and then lifted her eyes with a smile she built on purpose.
โThey look great, Reggโ she said gently. โIโm sure theyโll work.โ
For a moment, Reggie went quiet, like something tender slipped through the cracks.
Then he snapped back into brightness and held the shirt higher. โExactly. This one says โSUNSET CURVEโ and then-โ He paused because he could not help himself, โโLIVE LOUD.โโ
Luke leaned in immediately, grinning like a kid. โThatโs sick.โ
Alex finally glanced over, eyebrow raised. โDid you spell everything right this time?โ
Alex didnโt blink. โLast week you wrote โcongradulationsโ on a note.โ
โThat was a creative choice,โ Reggie fired back.
Luke laughed, bright and easy, and leaned against the counter near Y/N. His knee bumped hers, casual and constant. He didnโt ask if she was okay, and he didnโt do a big boyfriend speech. He was just there, warm at her side, as if the world were simple.
Reggie started stacking the shirts into a tote bag, smoothing them down with both hands as if neatness could turn into luck. When he tied the knot, he did it carefully, almost reverently.
โThere,โ Reggie announced. โSafe. Coming with us. Nobody touch it.โ
Alex didnโt even look up. โNo one was going to touch it.โ
Luke hovered like a menace and stole a bite off the plate the second Alex set it down. He chewed, blinked, then looked genuinely amazed by how good it was.
โWait,โ Luke said, pointing his fork at Alex. โThis is actually good.โ
Alex glanced over, suspicious. โItโs pancakes.โ
โYeah,โ Luke said, grinning, โbut you made them. Thatโs different.โ
Reggie swung the tote onto his shoulder and bounced once. โOkay. Weโre leaving before I start pacing.โ
Luke leaned into Y/Nโs space again, shoulder brushing hers, hand settling at her waist like it belonged there. He kissed the side of her neck and murmured low enough that it stayed theirs, โYouโre distracting.โ
โYouโll manage,โ Y/N whispered back.
Lukeโs grin was immediate. โBarely.โ
Alex killed the heat, wiped his hands on a towel too fast, and grabbed his bag. โLetโs go,โ he said, like moving would keep his thoughts from catching up.
Outside, the day was bright in that indifferent way sunny days are. The sky didnโt care what it was about to watch. Everything else before the Orpheum happened exactly like Y/N remembered.
Luke walked beside Y/N, talking with his hands, thoughts sprinting ahead of his mouth. โOkay, wait- today at rehearsal, I wanna try the bridge again. The one we keep fighting about.โ His eyes shone with the kind of certainty he only got when he could hear the music in his head. โI think I finally hear it.โ
Y/N kept his pace. โYou always โfinally hear itโ right before you make everyone do it ten more times.โ
Luke gasped like sheโd stabbed him. โThatโs not true.โ
Alex, without looking up, said, โThat is completely true.โ
Reggie laughed. โWe love his commitment.โ
Luke pointed at Y/N like she was his co-conspirator. โYou love it.โ
โI love you,โ Y/N said, and kept her tone light because light felt safer. โBig difference.โ
Luke went quiet for half a beat, like the words hit a soft place. Then his grin returned, gentler around the edges. โYeah,โ he said. โI love you more.โ
At the Orpheum, the air changed the moment they stepped inside.
The building smelled old. Wood, dust, history and the stage felt like it was waiting. Luke stepped onto it like it was church and home and a dare all at once.
He played like he was made of flame. Between takes he talked too fast, interrupted himself, laughed mid-sentence.
โNo, no, okay, wait. Again,โ he said, shaking his head as if he could physically shake the right sound into existence. โThe bridge has to hit harder. Not perfect. Justโฆ alive. You get me?โ
Reggie nodded like a proud parent. โI get you.โ
โUnfortunately,โ Alex deadpanned.
Luke laughed and glanced at Y/N at the edge of the stage the way he always did, like he was checking where his gravity was.
He just lifted his chin as if to say: you seeing this?
Y/N met his eyes and gave him exactly what he wanted: steady attention, a small nod, a look that promised she was here.
Luke played harder.
Rehearsal ended on a high that made Luke bounce on the balls of his feet. Reggie hugged the tote bag like it was a baby. Alex packed up with tight focus, as if he could keep tomorrow from getting too close by staying in motion.
โFood,โ Reggie declared like it was an emergency.
Luke didnโt hesitate. โHotdogs,โ he said immediately. โThat place on the corner. Itโs disgusting and perfect.โ
They went straight there. No detours. No pause.
The hotdog stand looked exactly the way it always did. The sign was a little sun-faded. The air smelled like onions and grease. The napkins never helped no matter how many you took.
Reggie ordered like it was a sport. Alex complained about ketchup like it was a moral issue. Luke stole a fry off Y/Nโs tray like he was twelve.
โYouโre a baby,โ Y/N murmured, amused.
Luke grinned around the bite. โYes, but Iโm your baby .โ
Y/N laughed softly at the right places because she refused to make the day heavy for them, even in her head. She held Lukeโs hand under the table like it was the only real thing in the world.
Because it was.
The sound came first, sharp and metallic and wrong, and then time buckled around it.
Y/N went still as if her body had recognized the ending before her mind would let her. Lukeโs fingers tightened around hers once, hard.
He turned toward her with wide, confused eyes, like he was about to ask a question and didnโt have time.
And then the universe took him.
The world became noise and motion and horror. Sirens. Shouting. Reggieโs voice breaking into something animal. Alex dropping to his knees like his bones forgot how to hold him up.
Y/Nโs calm shattered all at once, finally, because reality was crueler than any dream. She crawled to Luke like love was a muscle and she could still use it to pull him back.
โLuke,โ she breathed, hands shaking as she tried to hold him together. โHey. Hey, look at me.โ
His eyes found hers for a heartbeat. There was a flicker of recognition, and then fear, and then a tiny, broken sound that didnโt even make it into a full word.
Y/N leaned in, voice steady only because she forced it. โIโm here,โ she whispered. โIโve got you.โ
Lukeโs fingers twitched weakly in her grasp.
Then nothing.
The hospital was fluorescent and merciless. The doctorโs mouth moved and the words didnโt belong in the air.
โIโm sorry.โ
Y/N got home with Lukeโs name lodged in her throat like a splinter. The apartment was wrong without them. Too quiet, too empty, as if someone had taken the center out of it and left the walls standing.
His guitar case was still there. His hoodie still hung where heโd left it. Reggieโs vanilla candle still smelled sweet and intoxicating and unbearable.
Y/N sank to the floor in front of the guitar case and pressed her forehead against it like the hard edge could keep her upright.
Night came. She ended up in bed because the body always ends up somewhere, even when the mind doesnโt.
The sheets still smelled like him, and that was the final cruelty she could bear.
Her mind went to the accident. She never revived it so vividly. It was a nightmare, she told herself. It was just a nightmare. It had to be.
Sleep took her anyway.
And then Lukeโs arm wrapped around her waist again.
His breath warmed her neck.
His voice, thick with sleep, mumbled into her shoulder. โWhy are you awake?โ
Y/Nโs eyes flew open.
Detergent. Guitar strings. Vanilla.
Luke tightened his hand around her like nothing had ever happened.
My dream job is to run a cozy little bookshop, but without worrying about having to succeed as a small business. So basically a money laundering front where I get to read
โDamian held Marinetteโs lifeless body as he walked toward the Lazarus Pit.
โThe Pit's liquid was a murky, bubbling green, giving off fumes that stung his eyes. He didn't stop. He stepped into the toxic liquid, which rose up his legs.
โ"Forgive me, Beloved," he whispered. "This time I won't follow your orders. I'm not strong enough to live in this world without you."
โWith those words, he carried them both deeper into the chemical pool.
do you guys ever like forget you're interested in something until you start engaging with it again and you go "oh wait i'm like crazy crazy about this yeah"
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โณ Julie and the Phantoms โข Alison (@chrrispine)
No music is worth making, Julie, if we're not making it with you.
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