Synopsis: Adrian doesn’t know what to do when you fall asleep on his shoulder [GIF Creds: @javier-pena].
WC: 1769
Category: Mega Fluff, Adrian’s POV {TW: Foul Language, Very Canon Compliant (Terms of Personality)}.
My drafts have officially been cleared now. And ironically, this had initially started out as a drabble and idk what happened 💀
『••✎••』
He was not prepared for this. Firefights and covert ops? Sure, yeah, no problemo. Even one of Peacemaker’s unhinged rants about obscure '80s hair metal bands had him thinking he was well-equipped to handle any situation. But this…? This?!
No, this was worse. So much worse. You, the badass new recruit to the 11th Street Kids, had fallen asleep on his shoulder. His shoulder. And now his brain was short-circuiting like a malfunctioning murder drone.
He froze, mid-breath, with his eyes wide as saucers behind his red-visored mask—which he’d momentarily pushed up onto his forehead because, well, you guys were just chilling in the safehouse after a mission. The TV was droning on with some reality show Harcourt had picked, but Adrian couldn’t hear it over the deafening thud-thud-thud of his own heartbeat. Your head was right there, nestled against his shoulder, your soft breaths tickling his neck.
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.
"Okay, okay, stay calm," he told himself. He was the fucking Vigilante, for God’s sake. He’d stabbed dudes through the eye socket without flinching. He’d jumped off rooftops. He’d eaten an entire ghost pepper once on a dare from Economos and only cried a little. But this? This was uncharted territory.
His hands hovered uselessly in the air, like he was afraid moving them would detonate a bomb. Move, and he might wake you. Don’t move, and there’s a good possibility he might die of a heart attack.
But even then, what if he had woken you up? What if you woke up and realized you were touching him and then punched him in the face? Or worse, what if you didn’t punch him and just… stayed there?
Oh God…. He needs help.
"Dude… psst!" he hissed, his voice a panicked whisper, head whipping toward Peacemaker, who was slouched on the other end of the couch, munching on a bag of chips and looking way too awake. Chris's eyes flicked over, one eyebrow raised.
"What?" Peacemaker mouthed, clearly annoyed at being interrupted during Celebrity Dumpster Diving or whatever this crap was.
Adrian’s eyes widened further, if that was even possible. He jerked his head toward you, still asleep, your hair brushing his cheek and smelling like… shampoo? Gunpowder? Perfection? He didn’t know, but it was short-circuiting him. "She’s on me," he whisper-yelled, voice cracking. "What do I do?!"
Peacemaker snorted, crumbs flying. "Chill, dude. She’s just sleeping. Don’t make it weird."
Adrian was sure that it was some sort of cosmic joke, because it was already the most awkward thing that had ever happened to him. He didn't know why you were so comfortable with him, and that made him feel a little funny. It felt... nice.
"Oh," he squeaked, looking back down at you. You really were asleep, snoring lightly, one hand resting on his chest. You looked peaceful and so, so beautiful. His stomach dropped, a sudden realization dawning on him. "She looks like a little puppy from this angle. Like a puppy that’d rip your throat out but, like, in a heavenly way," he whispered, awestruck. "A heavenly angel puppy."
Peacemaker looked unimpressed. "She is literally the opposite of an angel."
"You know what I mean, P. It’s like that family dog you love but is actually an asshole, you know? Like it will try to bite you if you come near it, but sometimes it lets you pet it and falls asleep on your lap, so you still love it and you still keep coming back and-"
"Jesus Christ, dude," Peacemaker grumbled, shaking his head. "Just... shut the fuck up. I'm trying to watch this. I think that chick with the weave got a boob job."
But Adrian didn’t shut the fuck up. In fact, he started rambling at top volume, his nerves getting the better of him. "Should I wake her up?" he asked, sounding more worried than a kid in a haunted house. "Or let her sleep? Do I need to get her a pillow? A blanket? Oh, maybe she needs water or a snack! Does she eat snacks while she sleeps? Maybe she needs to be in a bed, do you think she would want to go to a bed, or is that too much-"
"Shut up!" Both Peacemaker and Harcourt were glaring at him now, annoyed, but you stirred, your nose scrunching adorably.
"Noisy..." you mumbled, still asleep, your eyes fluttering as you nuzzled closer.
And Adrian nearly had a heart attack. "Fuck. Me. That was the cutest thing I've ever heard in my life," he gasped, feeling the urge to take off his mask to grab his glasses and see better. But his hands were still hovering awkwardly, his brain not having recovered from the initial shock. "Did you guys hear that? Did you fucking hear that?"
"I hear the sound of your stupid ass voice," Peacemaker deadpanned. "Seriously, dude, I will throw this remote at you."
"You know, Adrian, it is late," Harcourt said, pointedly turning up the volume on the TV and rolling her eyes. "We should all probably get some sleep. Maybe you should, uh, lay her down or something. Let her sleep. I think she had a rough day."
Adrian stared at you, eyes wide and mouth open, and then glanced back over at his friends.
"Lay her down," he repeated. Huh. That could work. He could do that. He could definitely do that. He turned back to you, still frozen. "Yeah, I can do that," he breathed, trying to convince himself.
"Fucking finally," Peacemaker settled back down into his seat, grabbing a handful of chips.
Adrian was still staring, his breath shaky. "How should I do that? Like a fireman carry? Or maybe just an over-the-shoulder hold, like in the movies when the dudes are carrying unconscious people and it's kind of sexy, but I'm not really a firefighter, and I don’t want to make her feel like a sack of flour or anything, so-"
It took only five extra minutes before Adrian was walking down the hall with you in his arms, a pillow and blanket tucked under one arm, and his heart hammering away in his chest. It was only because of Harcourt's death stare and the threat of imminent dismemberment by the other 11th Street Kids. Not because he'd been scared or anything, but... it was a lot of pressure.
"I can do this, I can do this, I can do this," he kept muttering under his breath. You were still fast asleep, drooling a little on his suit and clinging to him like a koala bear, and he was about ready to pass out. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and ears, his brain going a thousand miles a minute. He wasn’t used to being so close to someone. Being touched. But somehow, with you, it felt… normal. Good. Natural.
"I can do this, I can totally do this. No problem."
You stirred slightly, mumbling again, and Adrian had to bite his lip so he didn’t scream. He had no idea how you could still be sleeping, but he wasn't complaining.
He kicked the bedroom door a tad harder than he should have, and the reminder of that half-chopped pinkie toe gave him a pang of nostalgia for the simpler times, physical pain being his primary source of distraction.
The pain was gone by the time he reached the bed, however, and he was once again hyperaware of his current situation. With a gentle touch, he lowered you down and slipped the pillow beneath your head. Then he unfolded the blanket and laid it over you. You rolled, hugging the pillow and burying your face into the sheets, and he nearly melted on the spot.
"Total angel puppy," he whispered, a dopey grin on his face.
But as soon as he stepped back, you stirred, making a sound that was somewhere between a groan and a whimper. "Wait..." you murmured, reaching out unquestioningly. "Stay."
And, well, he couldn’t exactly say no to that.
He walked back around the bed, still in his suit, and sat gingerly on the mattress, not sure if it was okay to be there.
But the second his weight sank into the mattress, your eyes fluttered open, and he held his breath, not knowing what would happen next. Would you scream? Laugh? Throw a punch?
But none of that happened. Instead, your face softened, and you blinked at him, your eyes still glazed over with sleep. Your expression was warm and gentle, and his heart did a weird, stutter-stop-jerk thing.
Your hands motioned him closer, tugging on the edge of his suit, and he leaned forward, confused. He watched, mystified, as you reached up, tugging at the collar of his costume.
"What are you-"
His breath hitched when he realized you were attempting to take his mask off, and for a moment, he watched in amusement because you, for some reason, couldn't seem to get it right.
"How do you get this off?" you mumbled, eyes narrowed, your fingers fumbling with the material. "It's in the way."
In the way of what? Adrian wanted to ask, but he didn't. His throat was too dry, and his tongue was suddenly too big for his mouth. He decided to ignore the weird feeling in his stomach and went along with it. You were still half-asleep, after all, and probably weren’t fully aware of what you were doing.
He reached up, lifting the bottom of his mask and pushing it up onto his forehead, exposing his face and the dark hair underneath.
You smiled, satisfied, and your hand came up, trailing your fingertips across his cheek, then over his stubble, and then into his hair. Your thumb rubbed small circles on his forehead, and it was soothing, relaxing, and Adrian couldn’t remember the last time anyone had ever touched him like that.
"Thank you," you whispered, your voice barely audible, your eyes slipping closed.
He was going to ask what for, but the words died in his throat when your hand slid behind his neck and tugged him down enough to give a small kiss on his cheek. It was light and soft, and it sent shivers racing through him, his heart thudding painfully in his chest.
And before he could truly process what had just happened, it was like you turned into a fish with the way your body flopped back down and rolled over, curling up, and drifting off again.
You left him sitting there, heart pounding, skin tingling, and unable to move. Unable to breathe because holy shit.
A/n: I know I said I wouldn't right for the Umbrella Academy again but after that shit season I feel the need to make Ben and Diego happy.
Prompts Used:
⟣ rose quartz (love) - "i have so much love for you.”
Like Klaus you too can see Ben, unlike Klaus you had the ability to be able to touch him. It was strange at first, you and Klaus were arguing about something. You shoved him and in retaliation he shoved you back which lead you to stumble back into Ben.
You half expected have your ass hit the ground but no, instead you hit a solid form.
"Holy shit!" Klaus let out an excited yelp but Ben, Ben kept his hand on your shoulders because the first time in years he was able to feel again.
Then after everything seemed to change between the two of you.
Ben started to spend more time with you, it felt just like old times. His arm wrapped around your waist as he rested his head on top of yours. It felt good, it felt so good to hold you, to be able to touch again. It's been years, so long but he had you to thank.
Closing his eyes, his body slowly relaxed as he breathed in your scent, because of you he felt alive though he wasn't really sure when he fell in love with you. Maybe he loved you along and it took him dying to realize he had fallen for you.
Nearly falling asleep, you felt Ben kiss the top of your head as he felt your steady heart beat beneath his finger tips.
"i have so much love for you.”
He was quiet, you had to strain yourself to hear it but it brought a smile to your lips non the less. "And I have so much love for you too Ben."
Tilting your head, you were about to kiss him only to stop at the clearing of a throat.
"Can you two...maybe not do that in front of me?" Klaus asked as he relaxed into his seat.
Scowling you turned your head away from Ben to glare at Klaus. "Or you can leave!"
Summary : You and Steve are secretly dating, here are 3 times you were almost caught and the 1 time you were.
Word Count : 1.2k
Warnings : Not proofread, 3am writing, swears, pet names, FLUFFY, kisses, suggestive at parts, fem reader, no use of Y/N, Steve and reader just want to make out lol.
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
- First time : Driving you home and nobody’s in
You’d been hanging out at Eddies trailer, watching some horror movies and smoking a bit with your friends.
Giving the metal head a hug and waving goodbye Steve drove you and Robin home.
“See you guy’s tomorrow,” she said, kissing your cheek from the backseat and climbing out.
“Let’s get you home,” Steve smiled, taking your hand in his. “Thank you for driving me.”
“Couldn’t leave my girl stranded could I? Or worse, Eddie could’ve drove you home in his death trap!”
“Eddie can drive,” you laughed.
“Sure, doesn’t mean the vans safe.”
“You worry too much,” you sighed, leaning over and kissing his cheek.
“Just want you to be safe.” The drive was quick and quiet, one of your favourite tapes of Steve’s playing. Steve pulled up to your house, no lights on inside.
“Tonight was fun,” you spoke, smiling.
“It was, we do need a proper date night though. Maybe the movies?” he asked.
“That sounds good, I’ll trust your taste in movies.” He leaned over the console to kiss you, leaning in softly.
You lips almost touched when you heard a foggy voice, “Are you coming in or not?” Dustin.
Pulling away from Steve you sighed, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Y-yeah, goodnight.”
“Night,” you smiled, climbing out the car and headed over to your brother.
“Have you been smoking?!” he exclaimed.
“Shut up!” you slammed your hand over his mouth, shoving him in the house. “Why are you sitting in the dark?” Waving at Steve before heading in yourself.
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
- Second time : Movie dates, sat in the dark, perfect right?
Sat in the movie theatre side by side, fingers linked, waiting for the lights to dim. You’d decided to see The Breakfast Club, after Nancy had said it was really good.
“You’re going to run out of popcorn and the movie hasn’t even started yet,” you chuckled at Steve. “It’s good!” he defended.
“Lies, but either way you’ll be grumpy 15 minutes in because you have nothing to snack on.”
“That’s why I got you snacks my love.”
“What so you can steal them?”
“Exactly that.”
“And what if I said no?”
“Well I’m sure I could persuade you..”
“Oh yeah?” He leaned closer to you, lips touching, “Yeah.” He softly pressed his lips to yours when familiar voices came.
“Okay so G6 and G7 El,” Max Mayfield spoke. “Shit,” Steve whined. The seats right in front of you. “Shit,” you repeated.
Walking down to their seats El spotted you, smiling, “Hi guys!”
“Hey,” you smiled back, nudging Steve.
“Hi,” he let out a pained grin.
“Just you two?” Max asked.
“Oh yeah, had to drag Steve with me. Nobody else would come with,” you shrugged.
“Hm, seems like Robins type of film. Eddie thought … not so much,” the redhead hummed. “Yeah exactly.”
“Should have come with us,” El said softly.
“If I’d have know you wanted to see it I would’ve, could’ve made a girls night out of it,” you smiled at her. Always having had a special place in your heart for that girl.
The lights dimmed, “Well we’ll see you after the movie,” Steve said. The pair sat down facing forward. “Guess we can’t make out now,” he sighed.
“You’re literally a horny teen.”
“Well I’m a teen and you’re hot so … I’m always horny.”
“Shush,” you laughed, punching him lightly.
“Maybe you can stay at my place?”
“Hm, if you’re lucky.”
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
- Third time : Lunch breaks aren’t easy either.
It was Steve’s lunch break, just him on today as it was a slow Monday. He shut the door and turned the sign to close, smiling at you who’d brought him food.
Pushing you into the back room, hands on your waist, your own tangling in his hair. Lipgloss transferring onto his own lips, “Stevie,” you giggled into his mouth.
“Missed you … so much,” he spoke between kisses. “Saw me yesterday.”
“Not enough!” Pulling you as close as he could, your legs wrapped around his waist and he lifted you into a filing cabinet.
“So. Fucking. Perfect,” he kissed and kissed and kissed. His hands played with the bottom of your skirt, pulling away. Lips swollen and hair messy.
“We’ve got 20 minutes Stevie.”
“That’s plenty of time to do what I need to do to you,” he smirked, lowering himself.
The bell on the door jingled, “Steve!”
“I’m gonna kill your brother.”
“Oh I’ll help.” Tidying himself up he left the back room, you jumping down from the cabinet.
“Henderson, thought you were smart enough to know what the word closed means.”
“Ha you’re real funny. I was just wondering if you’ve seen my sister?”
Steve’s heart went to his throat and you panicked trying to keep your breathing quiet. “Nope, why?”
“Well I saw her car outside and I thought maybe we could head home together,” he explained, “She might be getting some groceries though.”
“Mhm, maybe. If she stops by I’ll tell her you’re looking for her.”
“Great, thanks man.” You heard the bell ring again, signalling his exit.
Walking out of the back room you sighed. “Your brothers looking for you,” he teased.
“Oh you don’t say?” Kissing the boys cheek, “I should probably go.”
He whined, “Steve if he catches us-“
“I know I know. Okay go, but next time something like that happens I’m not stopping.”
“I’ll take your word for that.” Pecking his mouth you headed out the door to find you shit head of a brother.
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
- The time you’re found out
You heard soft knock on your window. Not wanting to turn the light on in fear your headache would get worse, you walked over.
Pulling back the curtains, you saw a familiar face. You pulled up the window and stepped back, “What are you doing here?” you asked.
Steve climbed in (fell in) to your room, “Robin told me you weren’t very well, couldn’t really call cause you know,” he motioned to the door.
“Thought I’d come check on my girl, brought you some gatorade and snacks.”
“You, Steve Harrington, are the sweetest boy I’ve ever met.” Pecking his nose, you walked back to your bed.
“What’s wrong?”
“Migraine.”
“Oh baby I’m sorry. Have you taken anything?”
“Took some more tablets not too long ago, they should kick in soon.”
He sat down next to you, stoking hair gently. “Do you want me to go, leave you in peace?”
“Could you stay?”
“Course. No place I’d rather be.”
Taking off his shoes, jacket and jeans he climbed in beside you. “Come lay on me baby,” he whispered. Resting your head on his chest, you hummed, his warmth was so nice.
Running his fingers up and down your back you were quickly lulled to sleep.
Stirring awake to a knocking sound, “Yeah?” you said voice croaking, thick with sleep. Steve also woke up, giving you a sleepy smile.
“Mom said do you want breakfast, she’s made waffles,” Dustin spoke.
“Oh yeah sure, I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Does Steve want any?” He asked through the door.
You looked at the boy, both of you wide eyed. “Hello? Does he want any?” your brother repeated.
“Oh um sure if she’s got any spare,” Steve said. Hearing you brother grumble as he walked away, you put your head back on his chest.
“Well he knows.”
“Yeah.”
“I can do this now then,” Steve smirked, kissing you square on the mouth.
“Hm, yes Mr Harrington you can.”
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
A/N : I wanted to do some fics with other characters soon, they don’t have to just be Stranger Things characters, I’m part of many many fandoms. So if there’s any other characters you’d like to see, let me know! 🤍
Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍
It was a Friday afternoon and everyone was all gathered at James’ apartment having a few drinks to kick off the weekend. As the empty bottles started piling up, they got the idea to play truth or dare, courtesy of the deck of cards Sirius found on his way to the flat. They were all still laughing at what Dorcas confessed to when Sirius nodded at James.
“Alright Prongs, you’re next.” he says, practically bouncing in his seat.
James, ever one for theatrics, picks up the deck of cards and shuffles it around before picking a card from the bottom and turning it over.
“What does it say?” Alice asks impatiently.
“Call your ex and ask why it didn't work out and if they’d ever consider giving it another chance.” James says before putting the card down.
Everyone hollers at the task before Marlene manages to calm them all down.
“Guys! Shut it! I wanna know who he’s gonna call.” She says before turning to James. “So? Who’s it gonna be?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Sirius asks, “It’s gotta be Evans.”
“No-“ Alice disagrees.
“Who else would it be?” Sirius asks.
Everyone argues back and forth while James sits quietly, wondering who to call. He knows who he wants to call, but he doesn’t know if they’d want to speak with him.
“This could change everything,” Marlene says, ever the romantic, “This could be your second chance, James. You should call the one you miss the most.”
“The only one you’ve ever really loved.” Dorcas agrees.
“The one that got away.” Alice says softly, a knowing look in her eyes.
“So, Evans.” Sirius repeats, causing everyone to either laugh or roll their eyes at him.
James doesn’t pay them any mind, he continues to stare at Alice, releasing a shaky breath when she nods encouragingly at him. Of all his friends and classmates, somehow Alice was the only one who knew his true feelings. While James assured everyone that he was fine when he and Y/N broke up, Alice had been the one to stumble upon James crying one day. He had confessed that he missed you and Alice had told him that she did as well.
She didn’t think you’d stop talking to everyone else when you guys broke up. She knew you had your own set of friends prior to dating James, but she had hoped that you’d still hang out with them every now and then. Considering that Marlene and Dorcas were already best friends, leaving Alice to be the third wheel among them, she had enjoyed having a girlfriend of her own, and cherished your company. It hurt Alice to see you pass them by in the Great Hall, not even glancing at them, as you made your way to the far end where your friends were.
Alice had tried to convince James to talk to you, to which he always refused, stating that it was done. After a while, everyone got back to teasing James about Lily, putting you on the back burner, and when he and Lily finally started dating, you were all but forgotten; being brought up only in passing, remembering something funny you had done, before moving on to something else. No matter how much time had passed, Alice always saw the sadness in James whenever you were brought up. His smile always seemed dimmer and his eyes filled with longing. Even if James had managed to fool everyone into thinking you were just a girl he dated for a few months, a girl that he was over; Alice knew that was far from the truth. That being said, he picks up the phone with shaky hands.
“Guys he’s calling!” Marlene shouts excitedly.
“Put it on speaker!” Sirius demands, causing everyone to cheer in agreement.
James types the number and presses “call”, nervously bouncing his leg up and down.
“She might not even answer.” he tells the group, though it sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself.
“What if this isn’t even her number anymore? What if she somehow knows this is my number and lets it go to voicemail?” He asks, looking at his friends.
This comment causes most of them to furrow their brows in confusion, wondering who he could be talking about, considering he and Lily still talk on occasion. But if he wasn’t calling Lily, then who?
The phone continues to ring, causing a pit to form in James’ stomach. “I don’t think she’s gonna-“
“Hello?” a feminine voice asks on the other line. The woman can be heard talking to someone in the background, wishing them a good weekend. She gets a chorus of “you too” in return before a door opens and closes shut.
“Hello?” The voice asks again. Remus reaches over and smacks James on the arm, snapping him out of his stupor.
“H-hi, hey!,” James stutters. “Y/N?” he asks, causing his friends to look at each other in confusion. You and James dated for a few months at Hogwarts but they didn’t think it was that serious. Not serious enough for him to call you instead of Lily for this dare. After all, he had spent years pining after Lily, not you.
“…yes?” you ask into the phone. Your voice comes off soft yet confused.
“Hey,” he says again, and then rolls his eyes at himself, “It’s James.” he breathes out.
“Who?” you ask, causing his heart to drop. “Wait, sorry, hold on really quick.”
Everyone hears you fumble with your phone for a bit before your voice rings out again, this time sounding louder than before.
“Hello?” you ask again, checking if the sound is better.
“Hi,” James answers, not knowing what else to say.
“Oh, that’s much better. Sorry about that,” you laugh softly, “Who is this?” you ask again.
“It’s James…” he says with a grimace, half expecting you to hang up on him.
“James…” you repeat, as if you’re in thought. “James from Hogwarts?”
“Yeah…” James answers, looking at Remus who just shrugs his shoulders. James from Hogwarts, he thinks to himself, that’s what she remembers me as?
“Oh shit,” you curse, surprise evident in your voice, “I didn’t recognize you. Your voice sounds so different on the phone.”
Everyone snickers at your comment.
“How’d you get this number?” you ask and immediately, the laughter stops.
“I uh…I ran into your friend Charlotte like a week after we graduated and I asked her for it.” James says sheepishly. He hopes nobody comments on the fact that that’s a long time to have someone’s number and not call them.
“And she gave it to you?”
“Well I say ‘asked’ but it was more like begging,” James admits, blushing as remembers following her around as she did her shopping, pleading with her to give him your number.
“Huh. So what do you want?”
“Just needed to ask you a question, love.” he tells you, the term of endearment slipping out without him even realizing.
“Okay…” you trail off, unsure of what’s to come.
“How are you?” James finds himself asking instead.
“How am I?” you repeat with an incredulous laugh. “You called me to ask me how I am?”
“No, sorry.” James shakes his head, even though you can’t see it. “That’s not the question. But I do want to know.”
“I’m fine.” you say simply.
“Yeah?” James asks, a soft smile on his lips as he talks with you.
“Yeah.” you confirm, wishing he’d just hurry up and get to the point already. “So…”
“Why didn’t it work out? Between us, I mean…” James asks breathlessly, finally asking the question that’s been plaguing his thoughts for the past two years.
“James,” you sigh, “Why are you asking this now?”
“I don’t know,” James says honestly, ignoring the stares of his friends. “It’s always bothered me; not knowing why you broke up with me. But no matter how badly I wanted to reach out to you- to ask you- I just didn’t. I was too scared. But I-I need to know what happened. Can you- from your perspective- can you tell me why we didn’t work?”
“I don’t know,” you sigh, “I just felt like you didn’t love me.”
“What?” James asks, horrified. “Why- how could you possibly think that?”
“Come on,” you scoff, “You know-“
“No, I don’t,” James interrupts, shaking his head furiously. “I-I thought I was a good boyfriend. I thought-“
“You were,” you coo, feeling the need to reassure him. “It wasn’t all bad. You were funny and kind. You were caring. You were patient with me and my short temper and you always managed to make me smile whenever something was bothering me.”
“And your friends,” you sigh, causing them all to perk up at their mention. “They welcomed me into their group with open arms. They never made me feel like an outsider. I-I studied with Remus, I would play-fight with Sirius; Alice and I would have sleepovers all the time and stay up talking and giggling until three a.m.”
“Then…why?” James repeats, even more confused. If everything was as great as you said, why break up?
“I…I’m not an idiot, James. Even though we weren’t in the same circle, I knew about Lily. Merlin, the whole of Hogwarts did. Through the years, I would hear in passing every now and again about you two. I knew you fancied her. I knew she had been the only one you had ever been serious about, which is why I was so confused when you started paying attention to me.”
“Is it so hard to believe that I thought you were beautiful? That I enjoyed your company?” James asks.
“No, but us crossing paths was a chance encounter.” you stress. “We had been taking the same classes since first year, James. But it wasn’t until Professor McGonagall changed the seating arrangement in seventh year that you finally noticed me. Do you remember why I turned you down the first couple of times?”
“You said you didn’t want to cause any problems between me and Lily. But I told you there was nothing going on between us.” James tells you, growing frustrated.
“Yes, but your actions told me otherwise. How many times did I see you playing with her hair, or whispering in her ear?”
“I was talking with her,” James defends.
“You were flirting with her!” you correct. “You were dating me and flirting with her. I don’t know how you didn’t realize it when everyone else in the bloody school did.”
“Do you have any idea what that was like?” you ask harshly. “Having to hear day in and day out for months ’oh, it’s just a ploy. He’s doing it to get Evans’ attention, and I think it’s working. It’s only a matter of time before one of them makes a move’”
“And then I go to you, my boyfriend, for reassurance, and I don’t get any. Instead, my feelings are brushed off and I’m called, what was the word again? Oh, right, delusional. Yes, I loved you, but I couldn’t do it anymore, James.”
“And anyway,” you huff, clearly worked up by this conversation, “This was two years ago, I don’t understand why you’re calling me now asking me why it didn’t work out. If you were so bothered by the break up, why didn’t you say anything?!”
“Because I wanted you to be happy!” James shouts, standing up from his seat. He moves away from the couch and starts pacing the living room, running his free hand through his hair in frustration.
“I feel like we should give them some privacy,” Marlene whispers to the group.
“Shh!” Sirius shushes her, waving her off.
“I loved you so much, I would have done anything for you to be happy. That’s why I let you go without putting up a fight. I was doing what you wanted.” James sighs dejectedly.
“What I wanted?” you repeat skeptically. “What I wanted was for you to fight for me! For us! I wanted you to show me and everyone else at that damn school that I was the girl for you; that I was the girl you wanted! But you didn’t do that!”
“Instead, you went running to Lily!” you laugh coldly, “Just like everyone knew you would!”
“That’s not fair,” James says, sadly. “If I had known that you-“
“That I loved you? That I wanted to be with you?” you interrupt. “What? Would we still be together right now? Married, living in a nice little cottage, a couple of kids running around?”
Beep.
“Y/N-“
“You’re right,” you sigh, “I’m being too harsh. If you didn’t know that, then clearly I wasn’t the best girlfriend either.”
Beep.
“Merlin’s beard, what is that noise?” James asks exasperatedly.
“My phone, letting me know the battery’s about to die. Good timing, too.” you huff.
“You were a bad boyfriend, and I was a bad girlfriend. That’s why it didn’t work out between us. Let’s leave it at that.” you say quickly, rushing to finish the conversation before your phone dies.
“I hope everything works out between you and Lily. Or whoever you’re seeing now. Truly, I do. Take care, James. Do not call me again. I won’t answer.”
And with that the phone call ends. James stands there, in the middle of his living room, staring at the phone in his hand. It’s silent for a few seconds before Dorcas awkwardly claps her hands, getting everyone’s attention.
“Alright, who’s next?” She asks, softly. The fun atmosphere ruined by the heaviness of the phone call.
“You guys go ahead,” James says, making his way towards the door.
“Mate, where are you going?” Remus asks, standing from his seat.
“It’s not over yet.” he says with a shake of his head. “Still gotta ask if she’d consider giving us another chance.” he tells them before speaking into the receiver.
“Hi, Charlotte? It’s James! Yeah, James Potter. Listen, can you curse me out another time? I need Y/N’s address. Why? Well apparently she broke up with me because she thought I didn’t love her. And I didn’t do anything to stop her because I thought she didn’t love me. Yeahhh, so I need her address so I can tell her that that wasn’t the case at all. Brilliant! Thanks, bye!”
Everyone stands in silence, unsure of what to do now.
“Should we keep playing?” Sirius asks.
“Or pack up and call it a night?” Remus adds.
They all stare at each other for a moment before Alice bolts from her seat and rushes to the door.
“I’m too invested in this! I need to know how it ends! James!” she calls, running down the steps, “Wait for me!”
Everyone else is quick to rush out the door, chasing after James and Alice into the night.
[ t i m e s k i p ]
You’ve just come out of the shower when there’s a hard knock at your door. Not expecting anyone tonight, you stand up with a confused frown on your face.
Running your fingers through your damp hair in an attempt to make yourself look presentable, you head towards the front door. The knocking has gone from rapid, consistent taps to a heavy fist pounding against the wood. The door shakes so much, you’re scared it’ll fall off its hinges. With your wand gripped tightly in your hand, you yank it open, only to become more confused at the sight that greets you.
James Potter stands on your porch; out of breath and hair disheveled as he stares at you. Looking past his shoulder, you see all his friends standing on the sidewalk. Sirius, Remus, Peter, Frank, Alice, Marlene, and Dorcas are all watching you as well. Alice has a beaming smile on her face as she waves enthusiastically at you, clearly happy to see you again. You awkwardly raise your hand at them in greeting before turning your focus back to James.
“I know you said you didn’t want me to call you again-“
“So you show up at my house unannounced?!” You shriek.
“And why are they here?” you ask, gesturing to his friends.
“They followed me!” James shrugs helplessly.
“What are you even doing here?” you ask, rubbing your temples in an attempt to rid yourself of the headache you feel coming on.
“To tell you, in person, that I did love you.” James says, releasing a shaky breath.
“….Alright. Thanks for stopping by.” You nod at him. You try to close the door, only for James to push it back open with his hand.
“No, Y/N, listen to me. I’m sorry for whatever I did that made you initially doubt my feelings for you. I’m sorry I was a tosser that didn’t listen to you when you tried to tell me what was bothering you.” James tells you sincerely.
“It’s okay,” you shrug.
“It’s not.” he says with a shake of his head. “I should've told you all this back then, and I don’t know why I didn’t. But I’m telling you now. Yes, I fancied Lily for years but that stopped the moment I met you.”
You roll your eyes at that and James grabs your hands, squeezing them once before continuing.
“I don’t know how you did it, but one interaction with you and I was hooked. Nothing else mattered and nobody else compared. I found myself looking for you in the great hall and in between classes. I’d ask around about you because I wanted to know everything that there was to know about you. I felt an actual ache in my chest whenever you turned me down. It was so bad I had to see Madam Pomfrey about it because I honestly thought I had an arrhythmia.” he says, which causes you to laugh and roll your eyes again, this time in affection.
“I didn’t fight for you then, so I’m fighting for you now. The truth is I liked Lily; but I only ever loved you.”
You widen your eyes and gasp at his confession. Somewhere on the sidewalk, someone, most likely Alice squeals.
“I loved you on that first day, when you shared your inkwell with me after I forgot mine in the dorm. I loved you when you watched all my quidditch matches, even though you weren’t a fan of the sport. I loved you when you hung out with my friends, even when I wasn’t there and when you spent Christmas with me and my parents.”
You bring a hand up to wipe your eyes before placing it back in James’ hold. You sniffle and grin at him, chin quivering as you do.
“I loved you every second that I dated you. I loved you when you broke up with me. I loved you the whole time I dated Lily, which sounds horrible-“ James admits, causing you to laugh.
“But it’s true. That’s actually the reason we broke up.” he admits, “I couldn’t be with her- or anyone for that matter- when my heart belonged to you.”
“I loved you then and I love you now.” James tells you, gazing lovingly into your eyes. “And I need to know if there’s even the slightest possibility of you loving me too? I know I let you down last time. But-“
James doesn’t get to finish his sentence. Having heard enough, you surge forward, getting on your tiptoes to place your lips against his. James immediately brings his hands up, cupping your face gently as he kisses you back. When you pull away, he follows, placing another chaste kiss against your lips. James kisses you all over your face, causing you to giggle before he leans his forehead against yours.
“James,” you call softly.
“Hmm?”
“Look at me.”
“I can’t” he tells you with a shake of his head, forehead still pressed against your own.
“Why not?“
“Because I’m scared this isn’t real. I don’t want to open my eyes and realize it was just a dream.”
“Does this feel real?” you ask, squeezing his hand with your own.
“Yes.”
“What about this?”
Your other hand comes up to cup his cheek. James sighs at the warmth, pressing a kiss to the palm of your hand.
“Yes.” he nods, slightly.
“Then open your eyes, Jamie.”
James takes a shaky breath in before slowly peeking his eyes open. Once he sees that you are in fact, still there, he releases the breath he was holding. James tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear before cupping your face in his hands.
“I love you.” you tell him, cheeks warming at the look of complete awe that he gives you.
James kisses you again before pulling you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug.
“I love you” he whispers into your ear, causing you to smile.
It’s only when Alice squeals loudly that you remember everyone else was still there. You pull back and share a shy smile with James before turning towards his group of friends that have been standing on the sidewalk.
“I guess I should invite you guys in?” you say, glancing at James briefly before turning towards the group again. “I can order some pizza and you guys can fill me in on what you’ve all been up to.”
Alice is the first to run up your steps, shoving James to the side and pulling you into a tight hug.
“I missed you so much!” she exclaims as she makes her way into your home.
Everyone else slowly makes their way inside, either hugging you or giving you a quick pat on the shoulder in greeting.
You’re about to head inside when James pulls you back.
“What? What is it?” you ask, looking up at him worriedly.
“Nothing,” he shakes his head, gazing at you with a soft smile. “Just wanted one last moment with you before we head in.”
You roll your eyes and grab his hand, pulling him behind you as you walk in.
“You’re acting like you’re never gonna see me again.”
“Am I?” James asks.
“Only for the rest of your life.” you tell him, pulling his face towards yours for another kiss.
“Um, enough of that!” Sirius calls out, “I believe we were promised pizza??”
Summary: Y/n doesn’t understand why her friends are lying to her every month, so on one full moon she follows them…
Warnings: swearing, mentions of blood, gashes, scars, everything associated with werewolves and one attacking someone, quite graphic and sad but there is a lot of fluff in thrown in there to balence it out...maybe bring some tissues x
A/n: 5.4k words, reader is a marauder and a rabbit animagus, hence the name bugs (like bugs bunny), I really like this one, super proud of it, enjoy!
Navigation | Remus Lupin Masterlist
You smiled looking at Remus concentrating on the other end of the room. You wondered if he knew how perfect and pretty he was, of course being his best friend for near 6 years you knew that wasn’t true and it broke your heart every time you remembered it.
Sirius, James and Peter had gone to Hogsmeade to get some supplies as Remus was feeling a little tired, while you had stayed to keep him company, and by company you lay on Peters bed, since he had the softest covers, contemplating life while Remus read his book
Your gaze was broken as Sirius sat down on the bed next to you, shifting his legs to lean them all the wall besides yours
He taps your sock clad foot with his own “Hey bugs” he says a little tired, leaning his head on your shoulder
You tap his foot back “Hi Pads” you reply leaning your head on his own
While Sirius and you engage in general conversation, James moves to sit by Remus and Peter goes to the bathroom
Plopping himself down James nudges the boy “Alright moony” he says upbeat
Remus keeps his eyes on the book “Hey Prongs” he greets with a small smile, bumping him gently with his knee
“Got you some goodies” James pulls out a couple of chocolate bars, holding them up
That draws Remus’ attention away from the book “Thank you Prongs” he says placing down the book and accepting the chocolate, as he opens a bit up he lets his head fall into the James’ shoulder
James wraps his arm around him placing a small kiss to his hair, he knew each moon effected his friend differently, but there was a pattern and this one had his friend exhausted and beyond sad. He had stayed up last night with Remus as he cried wishing that he didn’t have to go through it once again and it killed James. He wished he could help more, take away the pain, even take it himself so Remus wouldn’t have to suffer anymore, all of them did…and he also knew you would do the same if you knew
Like the other marauders you were an animagus, a wild rabbit, something the rest of the boy’s thought was rather adorable considering the ‘big bad wolf’ was in love with you. You had found the mandrake leaves and questioned it, wondering if that was the plan for everyone to become one. After much, much convincing from the rest of the boys, Remus was swayed into letting you become one, but under one condition, you were never to know and never to come with. He argued your form was too fragile and too easily hurt by him, which was bullshit as Peter was smaller than you, but they ultimately agreed
James knew the real reason though, it was clear to everyone besides yourself, Remus was in love with you
“Oh yeah” Peter says as he comes back into the room “I got your favourite bugs” he picks up a bag he had set by the door and moving to sit on the end of his bed
Your face lights up, bringing your feet off of the wall and twirling around to face him “Ooo gimmie” you make grabby hands at the boy, making him smile and Sirius chuckle
On the other side of the room Remus admires how happy you look, he loved your smile, loved everything about you. He snuggled into James a bit more, heart longing for you. There were so many times he wanted to tell you, merlin he hated lying to you, but he couldn’t let you know he was a monster. He knew you wouldn’t hate him for it, but he knew you would try to help, maybe get yourself hurt and worst of all, he was terrified you would never love him in a romantic sense once you’d seen him like that
You struggled to open the packet “You need some help?” Sirius holding out his hands but you shake your head
“Thanks Pads…but…I’ve got...ow!” you say strained as you try to rip it open but you finally get it you punch yourself in the process, yelping in pain
Remus sits right up “You alright?” he asks worried, ignoring the amused stare from James
You whine in response
“What happened?” Peter asks, hand on your knee
“I was trying to open it and when it finally gave way I punched my boob” you explain before cupping your right one and falling backwards on the bed, groaning softly as you pout
The boys try not to chuckle “Want me to kiss it better” Sirius wiggles his eyebrows earning your foot waving in his face “Hey!” he laughs jolting his head away
Later that night James, Sirius and Peter were all adding some additions to the map on the floor so you joined Remus on his bed, the two of you munching on goodies
“How are you feeling?” you ask softly, you had noticed he looked off the last few days and figured it must be his illness acting up again
He tenses at the question, you knew he didn’t like talking about it “I’m fine” he assures you
You clasp your hand over his, watching as his body relaxes into your touch “I’m here if you need me” you say, head falling naturally onto his shoulder
He closed his eyes and smiled, he loved these moments “I know…” he laces your hands properly, squeezing it “…I really appreciate you y/n” he confesses, he was almost drunk on tiredness but he knew he really didn’t tell you that enough
You kiss his shoulder “Feelings mutual Rem” you say quietly
It was times like this you believed truly that you and he were more than friends, sure you held the others boys hands, you and Peter would cosy together as a rabbit and rat quiet often, Sirius let you cuddle him as Padfoot when you were upset, and James let you ride him as Prongs…of course the last one Sirius tended to bring up out of context just to make you and James mortified
“I was thinking” you say after a few minutes
He chuckles “Should I be scared” he lightly teases
You nudge your head into his neck “Cheeky” you giggle together “There’s this reading night think at Scrolls and Tomes, free food, drinks and they are bringing a bunch of new muggle books in”
Remus can feel your smile on his shoulder “I don’t know if anyone else besides Wormtail would like that” he admits
You shake your head lightly “I was thinking it could be something for just the two of us” your voice gentle and smooth but inside your stomach was a tizzy
His eyes widened, it sounded like you were asking him out, although if he actually thought about it, it sounded like the way Marlene and Dorca spoke, the way a group couple would ask to spend time alone together
“When is it?” he wonders, heart fluttering at the idea it really could be a date
“Tomorrow night” you say happily until you feel him tense up “Rem?” you lift your head to look at him
His mouth opens but shuts soon after, tomorrow was the full moon, merlin it was just his luck wasn’t it “I’m really sorry but I already have plans” he says sadly, heart physically aching watching the disappointment and sadness wash over in your eyes before it was replaced with your beautiful smile…your beautiful sad smile
“That’s okay” you assure him, it would be silly of you to take that as a rejection, you should have asked earlier “So what are you up to?” you inquire trying to not show the small tearing of your heart
He hesitates “Umm…prank set up” he says, instantly regretting it
Prank set up? What was he thinking. One, you helped them with pranks even helped come up with them, and two, how was that important enough to merit not going with you. He didn’t look at you for a second, when he did chance a look, his heart broke in two, you looked completely deflated and the worst part was you were so nice about it
“What’s the prank…I didn’t know you were planning one?” you ask sadly but with a kind tone, even if you felt so angry deep down.
They always did this, once a month they would leave you out of something and you were getting tired of what. You stayed quiet though, Remus wasn’t well…or maybe he just didn’t want to go on a friend date
“It’s to do with the boy’s communal bathroom down the hall” he says hoping that ends the conversation and it does
You just nodded after that, heading back to your dorm sooner than usual looking crushed and leaving Remus riddled with guilt
You stuck to your dorm most of the next day, after last night you really weren’t in the mood to hang out with your best friends, so instead you chilled with Marlene and Lily as the latter tried to teach you both how to knit
“Like this?” you say demonstrating to the redhaired girl
Her eyes light up “Yes!” she claps her hands “Perfect you’re my star student”
You grin at the compliment feeling good about yourself before looking at Marlene and bursting out in giggles. Lily follows your eyes and starts laughing as well, both of you about to say something when there was a knock at the door
“Hey…” Sirius says as he enters, extending the syllables before it breaks into chuckles “You alright Marls?” he asks watching as the girl is literally ingulfed in wool
She stops struggling and accepts it, arm and shoulder stuck upwards wrapped in “I’m doing good, Lils is right, knitting is verythreptic” she says nodding, voice laced with sarcasm
“What were you trying to make?” Sirius asks amused
Marlene smacks her lips a little “Would you believe a scarf for my lovely girl?” she says
“A blue scarf” you add to which Sirius starts laughing again at the fact Marlene had every colour but blue wrapped around her
“Need help” Lily holds up some scissors
Marlene shakes her head “Nope I’m perfectly….capab-ble…” she tries to break out but it only gets tighter “Yes please I think I’m losing circulation” she changes her mind and sends a pleading look to her friend
While Lily cuts Marlene out you turn to Sirius “What you need Pads?” you smile at the boy “Also do you like the jumper…I think Rem would suit it” you hold up a half-finished jumper…that Lily totally started for you but you were taking full credit for
He nods “Yes he’s going to love it” and love you more than he does already “I was just sent to give these to Red” Sirius pulls out some chocolates and flowers from behind his back
Lily turns to look, as well as a now free Marlene “Oh my god!” she says excited, practically skipping over to the boy and taking the flowers.
Smelling them, she does a little spin before taking the chocolate
“You like them?” Sirius asks with a knowing smile
“Like them, I love them!” she exclaims with the biggest smile before it drops briefly “Siri please don’t tell…”
“…tell him you love it and him because you aren’t ready” he finishes for her, giving the girl a small hug and kiss to the temple “Don’t worry I’ll tell him you thought it was nice of him as always” he says glancing at you as he finishes and winking
As Lily sits down, completely giddy over her gift you and Marlene turn back to Sirius “So what you guys up to tonight?” Marlene asks
For the first time since he came in you see Sirius’ face falter but he quickly recovers “James wants us to help him with this…ugh…assignment we got in detention, we’ve been planning on working on it tonight for ages” he says quickly before taking his leave
“That was weird…” Marlene notes as the door closes, looking at you confused as does Lily
You nod, heart sinking “It was…I think I’m going to go check on them” you say standing up
“It’s almost curfew so be careful if you go out, out” Lily reminds you
Marlene giggles “Merlin Lils be less of a mum” she says earning a stuck out nose from Lily
“I’ll be fine…mum” you tease grabbing your jumper and slipping it on in case you did end up outside “Oh Marls” you say as you reach the door “If Lily is my mum then are you my wine aunt?”
“I prefer the sexy adopted cousin that you would have a scandalous affair with” she says casually while Lily half chokes on the air
You bob your head “I could see that…maybe another life time” you say blowing her a kiss and seeing her fall back catching it before you leave the dorm
You walked towards the main part of the common room, stopping at the small balcony you saw your friends heading out. You were mad now, Remus had lied to you, so had Sirius and it hurt more than anything. It was like they didn’t even see you as a marauder anymore, for almost two years, ever since you all became animagi, besides Remus who said he couldn’t due to his condition, they had disappeared every month. You didn’t mind if they wanted alone time, guy time or whatever they called it but lying to you to get it was a big no and you were going to confront them
Following them you ended up outside, you saw them heading to the forest but your jeans got caught on some bushes. While freeing your leg you cut yourself, it was tiny, along where the back of your hand and wrist met, but it still bled. You didn’t have time to care about it as you hiked towards the forest, passing by the willow at a safe distance…no way you were going near that thing after you and James and got stuck in it overnight in 3rd year
You hugged yourself as you walked through the trees, it was getting late and cold now. They wouldn’t have gone this far in, would they? Looking up you could see the full moon in the sky, you pouted thinking of Remus, your moon, the boy you loved more than anything, who was also lying to you. Huffing you decided to just go back inside but as you were about to take a step you heard something that made you freeze in complete horror
A howl
You knew there were wolfs in the forest but they didn’t sound like that, those were nice, friendly howls while this was deeper, scarier…it was that of a werewolf.
Looking around you tried to judge if any of the tree were climbable, you paid attention in class there was no way in hell you could out run it and it would catch your scent soon if it hadn’t already. Just as you were about to attempt climbing you heard distant cracking of twigs and patters on the forest floor.
You turned to the direction it was coming from, this was how you were going to die, you knew the marauders would kill you one day but right now wait…marauders…moony…his condition…scars…gone once a month…
Remus was a werewolf, more specifically the werewolf that was going to kill you…oh if you weren’t shitting yourself this would be poetically tragic in some way
Your head snapped to see a large shadow stalk out of the bushes about 50m away, you needed a plan, you couldn’t die like this, he would never forgive himself. It tilted its head at you clearly gearing itself to pounce, you wondered where the other boys were and then it hit you, you could shift, your rabbit self could hide easier
You closed your eyes and focused everything on shifting but your panic was making it difficult, especially as you heard him approaching. You finally feel yourself shifting but it was too late, werewolves attack was in motion and your bunny self was launched into a nearby tree.
Looking around everything was fuzzy. You whimpered, unable to shift back as you were in immeasurable pain, you couldn’t even tell where or what the injury was. As you lost consciousness the last thing you saw was Sirius’ Padfoot form licking your wounds and sad grey eyes staring down at you
James and Peter led Remus off and when they were at a safe distance Sirius shifted back into his normal form, looking down at the injured bunny, the y/h/c fur, little y/c/e eyes staring up at him helplessly before they closed, he knew it was you and he felt like the whole world ended
“Y/n” he was already fully in tears, gently shaking your little body “No merlin please…please you need to wake up” he sobs harder as you don’t move
A series of ‘pleases’ and ‘nos’ left his lips as he thought you were dead, but then he hears the tiniest whine, noticing your chest rising and falling through his tears
“You stay with me” he orders you as he takes off his jumper and wraps you in it, blood soaking his white shirt as he started to run towards the castle “Don’t you dare die on me”
Remus groaned as he woke. When he realised he was already in the hospital wing, he let his head fall back onto the soft pillows. He couldn’t remember a thing, usually he did but on some occasions when he hurt himself particularly badly he would black out the memory. Problem was he didn’t feel injured, if anything there were cuts than usual and that worried him, more so as he only seen James and Peter approaching the bed
He sits up quickly, pain streaking across his chest but he didn’t care “Where’s Sirius” he asks in complete alarm
James and Peters faces didn’t help “Remus…” James says quietly, unsure of how to tell him
“James” Remus says terrified “Where is Sirius” he says the words slowly, a lump in his throat
“I’m here Moons” Sirius says approaching from down the way, looking distraught, shirt covered in blood, eyes raw
Remus’ eyes widen, shifting to get up, clutching his stomach as he sits legs daggling on the edge of the bed “Are you okay?” he asks, unable to stand due to the pain “I’m so sorry…there’s so much blood”
Sirius glanced towards James and Peter, both have tears in their eyes, giving him a look that said ‘this is going to kill him’
“It’s not my blood” Sirius says hesitantly, letting out a shaky breath as he looks over his shoulder to the bed hidden by the curtains
Remus follows his eyes “Oh god” he mouths drops open, chin trembling, he hurt someone, what if he turned them, turned them into a monster too
“Remus…” Sirius starts running his fingers through his hair “She…she…” he can’t bare himself to say it out loud but Remus seems to get it
His heart dropped looking at the curtain, face filled with dread “No” he shakes his head “Sirius please” he begs as his eyes fill with tears “Please tell me she…she wasn’t…”
When Sirius says nothing he has his answer, fully breaking down clutching his chest, his injuries forgotten by the searing pain in his heart
“Re-” Sirius goes to reach out and hold him but Remus pushes by him, shaking his head as he stumbles over to the curtains
He closes his eyes for a moment, breaking heavily before he opens the curtains. He lets out a sob, seeing your tiny little form, you were in your bunny form, battered and bruised
“What…” he turns back to James who has joined him while over his shoulder Sirius and Peter crying into each other beside his bed
James walks over to your bed “She shifted we think” he says quietly “Just…just not in time” he looks at you pained then back to Remus “It’s not your fault, you…”
“Yes, it is” Remus snaps at him, leaning over your broken frame, seeing the gash over your abdomen, blood sticking to your usually soft fur “Y/n” his head collapses into the bed beside you “I’m so sorry” he blubs into the covers, letting out a strangled scream
Remus felt more pain in that moment than every full moon rolled into one. He knew why you were in the forest because he knew what you were like. You knew he was lying yesterday and you followed him, it was his fault, he put you in this position and he hurt you, almost killed you. He heard James say something about Poppy not wanting to shift you back forcibly yet as your wounds needed to heal first, but in better news you didn’t get infected with Lycanthropy
James listens to Remus’ cries for hours, eventually carrying him back to his bed when he passed out from sheer exhaustion. The next morning Remus was told he could go to his dorm but he wouldn’t leave until you had shifted back and mid-afternoon Poppy did just that.
The boys then took Remus to their room and he didn’t leave his bed for the next week, only for the bathroom and one forced shower where James washed him while he just stood there with no tears left to cry. Another week passed and he didn’t leave his bed, even when the boys rushed in and told him you had woke up and you were okay. He was relieved but then pulled the covers over him, readying himself for the love of his life to hate him forever
The first thing you saw when you woke up was Sirius asleep by your bed. As he slept Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore explained to you that two weeks had passed since the full moon. They told you that you would heal but would have permanent scars, one running down chest to your navel and another from just below your right breast to your left hip
When you asked about Remus they told you he was fine in a physical sense but hadn’t returned to classes nor left his dorm room. You wanted to go to him but you couldn’t, you were on forced bed rest until you were one hundred percent. The other boys visited you every day and every day you asked about Remus
“He’s doesn’t want to leave the dorm, hasn’t spoken much”
“He’s blaming himself, he thinks it’s all his fault”
“Still hasn’t left his bed but he’s eating now”
You took that one as a small victory, at least he was eating.
While you were on bed rest you finished the jumper, knitting a half crescent moon on the upper side of one arm and a carrot on the other with a little help from Lily…okay Lily did it but you helped by holding the wool
Almost three weeks had now passed from the full moon and you were officially allowed to leave. Grabbing the jumper, you went straight to Remus’ dorm, the boys hadn’t told him you would be coming out of fear he would hide from you so when you knocked on the door and there was no response you just let yourself in
Walking in slowly you saw a lump under the covers of Remus’ bed, soft snores coming from it. You approached as quietly as you could, placing the jumper on the bedside table as you took in his appearance. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, eyes puffy and red, chalk white as he lay on his back, head fallen to the side
Slipping off your shoes you sat on the bed, snuggling yourself into his side over the covers “Oh Rem” you nudge your nose with his, hearing him hum but not wake
Your thumb brushed over the area just shy of a new scar on his jaw. You had almost a whole week to think about what had happened, your anger was gone now, replaced with the want…no need to be with him, look after him, let him know you were there and never ever leaving him
You watched him sleep for a bit before you rested your eyes, not going to sleep just soaking up the feeling of being near him when you heard his voice “Y/n?” he asks like it was a question, like he wasn’t sure if you actually existed
Your eyes fluttered open “Hi” you give him a warm smile
His heart stopped, staring at you wide eyed and now fully awake, you were here, really here. He had imagined what you would say to him so many times, he always imagined you crying, shouting, all negative. The only time you weren’t was in his deepest dreams, in those you didn’t know, you weren’t ever hurt and all if this was a nightmare…but it was real and now had to face it.
The smile never left your lips, why weren’t you mad at him? Did you not know it was him, you must have…wait, were you accepting him? But how could you accept and forgive a him after what he did to you?
You see his panic, he wants to run away and you understand why so when he sits up and pushes the covers down with his feet in order to do so you climb over him. He lets out a small gasp as you straddle him, pushing his shoulders down like he couldn’t just lift you up off of him if he really wanted to
“Don’t” you shake your head, a pout on your face
He looks confused “Y/n…” his eyes start to water “Please”
“No” you say firmly, no way in hell were you leaving
For the first time he properly looked at you, you seemed okay, like nothing had ever happened, same bright eyes that held same love as before. You were still his sweet little bunny but he really was the big bad wolf.
In all his years he called himself a monster but deep down he had convinced himself he wasn’t really, that he wouldn’t ever hurt anyone just like his friends and parents said. Now he truly felt like one and he was shamed, utterly destroyed
“Y/n I’m so, so sorry” he breaks down in front of you, his hands moving to clutch onto your own that rest on his shoulders “It’s all my fault, I understand if you hate me, I hate me…I’m a…god I’m sorry” he says pained, tears streaming down his face
You slip your hands out from his tight grip and cup his face “Hey look at me” he shakes his head refusing to look at you “Look at me Remus” he still refuses so you force his face up
He looks at you broken, a shell of himself
“It isn’t your fault” his eyebrows pinch “Listen to me” your hands shift up on his face “It isn’t, you can’t stop what your wolf does on a full moon, you aren’t in control and so it isn’t your fault”
He just watches you as you continue, hands gripping at the hem of your jumper
“I went into the forest, myself at night I…don’t” you stop him from arguing “I put myself in that position, not you, not Sirius, me. I should have waited until morning and asked you, but we can talk about what if’s for the rest of our lives. What if you had told me, what if I wasn’t a bunny, what if you were never turned…and in the end Rem none of that will change anything, so none of that, nothing you have or ever do will make me hate you, stop loving you”
His eyes light at the last part, what kind of love?
“I love you, love you Rem” you answer for him as if you could read his mind
He presses his forehead to yours “I…I love you too” he confesses closing his eyes “Always loved you but you don’t want to be with a guy like me y/n” he pulls back “Even if you aren’t scared of me, which love you should be, I’m not…I’m poor”
“You can be my house husband” you suggest in a light-hearted tone, one that makes his heart flutter, even now you were trying to make him feel better
“I couldn’t have kids” he says sadly
“We can adopt or not have some, we could get a dog but Pads would get jealous” you say and he almost smiles
“I’m like an old man, my bones ache constantly”
You kiss his cheek “So we’ll need a big bath” you assure him
You were never giving up and he knew that
“I’m littered with scars y/n, they're not attractive, they're ugly, I'm ugly” he says
You shake your head, thinking for a minute before you pulled up the hem of his shirt
“What are you doing?” he says a little panicked, cupping your hands “You don’t want to see them, I don’t want you to see them”
“Please Rem”
His face contoured before he nods slowly, letting you pull the material over his head, revealing his chest. He watched your face, there was no disgust, in fact you smiled at it like it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen
His eyes widen as you grip the bottom of your jumper, grips your wrists quickly before you can do what he thinks you’re doing “Y/n” he asks bewildered
You shrug off his hands “It’s okay” you smile at him before taking off your shirt
Remus looks deep into the room and your heart fluttered at how respectful he was being
“Rem please look” you say fingers gently trailing over his jaw and pulling it to face you
His eyes flicked to your breasts first something you noticed and bit your lip at as you could see the blush and scold he gave himself. He then looked down, face filled with hurt as he saw the scars, fingers moving to trail over where they crossed on your stomach
“I’m so sorry” he apologises once again
You take both of his hands in yours making him look up at you “Remus are these…” you gesture to your stomach “…ugly, do they make me ugly?”
He shakes his head right away “No, you’re beautiful, so so beautiful” squeezing your hands tightly, like he was trying to force his love for you through them into you
You smile “Then...” you slip one hand out of his and trace the scars on his chest “...you can’t call these unattractive and ugly because then you are calling me so”
He lets out a small smile, tilting his head as he looks at you with so much love. How did he managed to find someone as wonderful as you?
“You have no idea how much I love you, appreciate everything you do for me” he cups your cheek with his free hand as his other rubs over your knuckles
“I am pretty great” you admit and he laughs “Although next time you don’t want to go on a date with me, just say, don’t turn into a werewolf and bitch slap me into a tree” you say so playfully and casually he can’t stop the small laugh that sound like a ‘huh’ come out
His nose scrunches up “I shouldn’t have laughed at that” he scolds himself but the smile stays “Why am I smiling, that’s really not funny” he looks at you stunned
You giggle placing a kiss to his nose to which his eyes flick down to your lips and kiss your nose back
“I love you Rem” you say planting a peck to the corner of his lips which he again copies “I’m never leaving you, you’re stuck with this bunny forever, my beautiful” a kiss to the other corner and he copy’s “beautiful” his lips and yours “moon”
After a few seconds you pull away, remembering "Oh" you smile brightly leaning over and grabbing the jumper "I made you this! Well Lily did but helped, look theres a little moon and a carrot and...mhm"
He pulls you in for a proper kiss, unable to wait anymore, the jumper falling from your grip as your lips moving in sync, making up for all of the almost kisses throughout the years
As you pull apart you lean your foreheads together “My moon” you say with the upmost endearment
