Jackie Jokes

She Laughs Without Fear of the Future - Proverbs

[it-was-a-joke-bitch]

I recently swapped all the labels on my wife's spice rack, she hasn't noticed yet...

But the thyme is cumin.

[boristhetaurus]

[it-was-a-joke-bitch]

🥰

[boristhetaurus]

[it-was-a-joke-bitch]

[badjokesbyjeff]

Judge: I order you to pay $10,000

Mario: why?

Judge: it’s a fine

Mario: [sadly] no itsa not

[it-was-a-joke-bitch]

[princesstigerbelle]

If cats knew what sin was they wouldn’t even care

[blackpyrefly]

I don’t care either fuck trigonometry

[it-was-a-joke-bitch]

[it-was-a-joke-bitch]

In Jamaica, a slice of pie costs $3.75. In the Bahamas, a slice of pie costs $5.50.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

[amnesiaguy]

two worms in love are soilmates

[it-was-a-joke-bitch]

[evilottoandfrenxxy]

[it-was-a-joke-bitch]

[it-was-a-joke-bitch]

[it-was-a-joke-bitch]

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail...

But apparently, you can’t end a sentence with a proposition...

[patroncrow]

okay i keep telling this one i know i know but im so proud of it

so the other day i was at lunch with a couple of friends, and the topic of puns came up because one of them texted me and the other one some. 

naturally, i started slipping a pun in every chance i got. i got a lot. (i made the one that sent the text nearly die of laughter by going on a rant about bee movie promoting “beestiality”)

after a while, one of them (the one that hadnt sent the texts) was getting that kinda jokingly agitated (think papyrus to sans. im proud to be sans in this scenario.) that this was happening almost every other sentence. 

i punned again. she looks at me, with a calm and restrained face, simply saying “we arent friends anymore.” the reason was clear. i was being too punny 

(ha-ha. they were all shit, there is no such thing as good puns, art is a lie, nothing is real)

what do i do next?

what do i do?

i look her dead in the eye. completely serious face. 

with not a quiver in my voice, no inflection or giggle, in a very relaxed tone, i say,

“is our relationship a joke to you?”

there is a second of silence. only a second. before it hits. before it hits the table like a brick that that was a pun. another goddamn pun. 

she stares at me with murder in her eyes. i can only keep it a second, as our friend is bent over laughing. i ended up bursting out but things will never be the same.

i was given the gift of trust and gave it up to make my jokes.

[whiterose8888]